In Which I Agree With The Pope… A Little

Away in a manger, no crib for his bed
The pope says believers are being misled
The stars in the sky look down where he lay
The pope says it didn’t quite happen this way

The cattle are lowing; the poor baby wakes
The pope says the story is full of mistakes
I love thee Lord Jesus, look down from the sky
But even the pope knows the story’s a lie

Be near me Lord Jesus, I ask you to stay
The stories are bogus; what more can one say?
Bless all the dear children in Thy tender care
Their number is zero… you really aren’t there

Yeah, the pope has a new book out-volume three of his biography of Jesus. This one, “Jesus of Nazareth–The Infancy Narratives” (conveniently out in time for Christmas sales) would appear to be yet another salvo fired in the war against Christmas. That’s right, against. All those nativity scenes in Santa Monica and elsewhere? Yeah, not so much.

According to the pope’s research, there is also no evidence in the Gospels that the cattle and other animals traditionally pictured gathered around the manger were actually present.

He also debunks the claim that angels sang at the birth, a staple theme of Christmas carols.

I can’t wait until Bill O’Reilly attacks him for being a grinch.


  1. grumpyoldfart says

    No mention of a stable in the bible either. Matthew 2:11 says the wise men went into a house to see Jesus.

  2. davem says

    A whole volume of tales about Jebus the teenager, based on a few lines of the Bible? What’s his source? I’d like to see that.

  3. anubisprime says

    Well they cannot keep up the rhetoric so beloved of the brain dead, other folks are starting to laugh at silly sexually dysfunctional old men whispering fairy stories, with shepherds and angels and totally useless pressies, except the gold but xians loves ’em the gold.
    And true to xian ethics and morality the gold disappeared mysteriously after the birthday bash, but seemingly not in to Mary’s pocket!

    Census …what census!…never happened, murder of first born never happened, Christmas nope unlikely to be that time of year.

    In fact almost every aspect of the nativity is a tissue of porky pies that minister after priest force feed down kiddies throats with all the pink and fluffy, as if it were…well gospel!

    Folk have suspected as much for years, and just let the ‘crows and rapture cowboys’ get on and away with it with no challenge, but times are changing.

    Pretending to be pragmatic and admit there a few little white lies sprinkled throughout the story is just hoping against hope that such candor will sooth the confused and the wary and silence the howling mirth of passers by, cos they seem to be disturbing the congregation, and the congregation seem to be waking up!

    But the tide is coming in and Benny is going to have to retreat just a little higher up the beach, as time ticks on, and then higher still, thing is the flood will top the highest perch on the whole theological beach.
    Benny will have nowhere left to retreat…it is in fact theology abandoning and backing away from their traditional comfy seats on the shore line which are being swamped by rationality and loss of interest in nonsense!

    And so it begins…until it will end.

  4. says

    All is not lost. Benny also says not to let facts get in the way of faith, that it is fine pretending that the nativity fabrication was real, for traditions sake.

    Seems more to me like an attempt at pretending that Cathlicolism(lol) is scientifically rigorous. What a petard.

  5. F says

    Volume the third of a biography of Jesus. Someone does seem to be stretching it a bit, no?

    As to the central bits mentioned in the lovely bit of verse above: No shit, Pope.

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