Category Archive: Food

Feb 21 2014

A Tasty And Nutritious Sausage, Low Fat and Low Sodium, With Only A *Hint* Of Baby Poop

The latest health craze? Here’s the scoop: It’s sausage made with baby poop. Or (as the press release explains) With cultured pro-biotic strains So you can populate your gut With flora from a baby’s butt The best advice these authors give? For better health… eat shit and live! This is actually a pretty cool paper, …

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Jan 14 2014

Meanwhile, In Cow Piss News…

Livescience.com, just yesterday, ran a story on a new health drink, made from cow urine. It’s been slightly updated, with mentions of a 2012 and a 2013 rat studies, but the main story is something we’ve seen before, back in 2009. Most of the quotes in yesterday’s article are actually from ’09. As is this …

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Nov 08 2013


If I chance to bake a cheesecake Half the neighborhood appears All concerned it looks like too much food for one Every neighbor wants a nibble— There’s no lack of volunteers— And I go from too much cheesecake down to none But this week I did some cooking— And it really turned out well— But …

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Nov 03 2013

Today Is National Sandwich Day

I don’t know why Comeradde Physioproffe is posting a recipe for Squid Ink Penne with Arctic Char and Raclette Cream Sauce–as wonderful as it looks–you see, today is National Sandwich Day. And sandwiches are wonderful things. Both literally and metaphorically. First, the literal… Two buns diverged from a breaded mass,And sorry I could not, like …

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Sep 03 2013

Waiter! This Coffee Doesn’t Taste Like Shit!

I grind my coffee fresh each day, A hearty, fragrant scoop With hints of citric acid, and A note of civet poop But with the market full of fakes I might just have to quit… I mean, who wants a cup of joe That doesn’t taste like shit? Via NPR, the latest on Civet Cat …

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Aug 05 2013

Ah, So *That’s* Where The Fat Went!

A rack of ribs; a leg of lamb; A turkey roast; a marbled ham; We used to cut the fat off, just to eat it! The drippings from the roasting pan We use for gravy, quite by plan— For flavor, you can’t beat it. But now, our culture’s seen a change And eating fat is …

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Jun 07 2013

National Doughnut Day, 2013

Let us raise our voice in chorus For that deep-fried, doughy torus Though it’s not the best thing for us It’s a super special treat Found in bakeries or delis, Dipped in sugars, filled with jellies, We can stuff them in our bellies Just as fast as we can eat And it’s Donuts, Donuts, Donuts, …

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May 03 2013

I’ll Have A Slice Without So Much Rat In It…

It’s processed meat; they say it’s mutton— And that, of course, is that. No need to worry over nutton— It’s not (or is it?) rat. But rat it is, or fox, or mink, (And some of it’s diseased) Chinese officials made a stink And now it’s all been seized. Some twenty thousand tons of meat …

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Jan 09 2013

Updating The Menu (Halal Mermaid!)

Via Ed, we hear that there has been a change of dietary heart. Whereas it was apparently once the case that mermaid were officially (there was an official fatwa) off the menu, Ed reports that mermaids A) exist, and B) are halal. I really never thought I’d have the appropriate excuse to repost this one, …

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Nov 22 2012

A Happy Thanksgiving

… because the cuttlekids are home. So, since I can’t cook a meal for you, a special side-dish here, serving as another reminder that what I do is not poetry, and that proper poetry is (or can be) delicious.

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