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Category Archive: creationism

Mar 25 2008

Expelled: The Ballad

Come gather round people, I’ll sing you the taleIt’s bigger by far than a land-dwelling whaleCompared to it, stories from Shakespeare will paleIt’s glitter, and glamour, and glory,More drama than all the last season of Maury It all started out with a promising planWith two different views of the journey of ManAnd so nice and …

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Mar 05 2008

Translating from Creationist to English

I’m looking for a linguist who can help me with translation—For it seems two different languages are used within this nation;Much more tricky than Bulgarian, more difficult than GreekIs the twisted form of English that Creationists now speak.The only rule, thus far, that I have managed to detectIn the reams of legal documents I’ve gathered …

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Mar 02 2008

The Complexity of Design

Each now and then, it’s fun to ask“What did The Maker have in MindWhen first He set about the taskAnd started making humankind?” We know, of course, that God Above,Not evolution, deaf and blind,Created us to show his loveAs clear as if The Artist signed. We know because we’re more complexThan any watch you have …

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Feb 22 2008

Apple Of My Eye…

From Pharyngula, more of the fruit fetish argument from design (or is that argument from ignorance?). First the banana, then the orange, now the apple. Is no fruit safe? Women, hide your melons! Men, protect your kiwis! There are men out there (and it always seems to be men, doesn’t it) with designs on your …

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Jan 16 2008

What the…Huck?

In case you were the one who missed hearing this story, it turns out that presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee really truly actually for-real is a Man of God ™. Whether speaking from his heart, or in a bid to outflank his opponents and capture the fundamentalist vote, The Huckster announced to a Michigan crowd Monday …

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Dec 23 2007

The giraffe song (not the unicorn song)

Over on “Living the Scientific Life (Scientist, Interrupted)“, there is an unfair contest going on. Unfair, because (apparently) GrrlScientist likes graphics. “Please show us in a picture because as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words”, she says. Hmph. I have only 345 words for her: A long time ago, if you check …

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Nov 20 2007

creationist museums

I took a walk through time and space—Through several million years—I found that some things never change,Or that’s how it appears.Stupidity’s a constant(Hey, I call ‘em as I see ‘em);I noted Man’s is not the soleCreationist Museum.Seems everywhere I looked aroundIn present or in past,I found museums touting God—And all of them half-assed.I guess I …

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Nov 13 2007

Kitzmiller v. Dover

I am writing this while watching, so I apologize for the incompleteness of my verse. It cannot, within the timeframe I would like, adequately address this wonderful program. Full Disclosure: I watched the trial as it progresseed, and read the transcripts as soon as they were made available; my verse here cannot possibly be the …

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Nov 11 2007

Noah’s Flood, or God Passes The Buck.

Two children, playing silly games–One of them is winning.God decides to kill them both‘Cos having fun is sinning. Time to quickly learn to swim–It’s not enough to wade,‘Cos God is going to clean upAll the messes that He made. It’s not the children’s fault at allWhat happens on this day;But God is great, and God …

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Nov 11 2007

Cuttlefish in Genesis

So I was ego-surfing, and basking in all the wonderful cephalopoddity that comes with being a cuttlefish, when I happened upon a delightful little piece on cuttlefish, written by those helpful and friendly people at Answers in Genesis. Sure, the article was a few years old, but it was the first I had seen it, …

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