Category Archive: blasphemy

Apr 12 2014

God Goes To Court In New York

A little bit short On His credit report? No, you don’t want to mess with divinity— Y’see, God is the sort Who will take you to court If you say He can’t buy His Infiniti. A silly little story on NPR: As the saying goes, “In God We Trust, all others pay cash.” But in …

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Apr 04 2014

“A Greater Fool Than The Atheist”

There’s fools and then, there’s greater fools Like those who went to fancy schools For silly stuff like Kepler’s rules And other science stuff The planetary hows and whys Show God at work—that’s no surprise. You need to back your case with lies? The bible is enough So my aggregator threw a site at me …

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Mar 31 2014

PZ Gets Demoted

Screen shot 2014-03-31 at 5.55.48 PM

You should make a major issue Of incinerating tissue If you don’t, we’ll make you wissue Had a different point of view! Cos abortion can’t be easy And the doctors must be sleazy So the comments made by PZ Are a special sort of woo! If his scientific training Contradicts what we’re maintaining Does it …

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Mar 04 2014

The Paradox Of The First Common Ancestor

We have no appropriate label And it seems, well, insulting, a bit But I really can’t see Using “He”, or else “She”, And it almost feels weird using “It” It’s the most insignificant being Just a blip—microscopically small It may not have been strong But it passed life along— It’s the ancestor…thing…to us all! The …

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Feb 23 2014

The Biblical Justification For Arizona’s Proposed Law

Jesus hated homos, which he says in [find this verse] Yes, he also hated hypocrites, but really, gays are worse So as Arizonans ask themselves just “What would Jesus do?” He’d engage in homophobia, like [look this verse up, too] See, Jesus always made it clear [um, look this up as well] Baking cakes or …

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Feb 11 2014

Did You Ever Consider The Possibility That Maybe God Is A Parasitic Worm?

There’s a little kid, infested with a parasitic worm His extremities are swollen and in pain But this doesn’t pose a problem, or disprove a loving God As philosopher Plantinga will explain: See, God created Eden, which his favorite—Man—beheld, But of course, the fruit of knowledge, He forbids It was absolutely perfect, but humanity rebelled …

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Feb 04 2014

Thank You, Ken Ham

Thank you, Ken Ham— “What would change your mind?” was the question… and Ken told viewers that the bible would stand up to critical examination. Thank you, Ken Ham. My own pastor, back all those decades ago, was a true believer, one who believed that the most skeptical investigation will support the truth of the …

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Jan 30 2014

All Gods Are Versions Of The One True God (Mine, Of Course)

There are thousands of gods, so the atheists claim And they note that they all disagree; But I’ve figured the source of their silly confusion— And so, you can take it from me: Some people once worshipped a handful of gods, Like Athena, Poseidon, and Zeus All manifestations of one, greater, God, A reasonable mind …

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Jan 28 2014

“We Assert That Images Of The Spiritual Leaders Of All Religions Should Be Deemed To Be Respectful”

So… if, by law, religious figures Are deserving of respect From the meditating Buddha To the Manson, spittle-flecked, From the image of Mohammed To the memory of Jim Jones, From Joseph Smith to Jesus Christ To dusty relics’ bones From the ancients on Olympus To the modern Kanye West, I’m required to respect them Shall …

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Jan 26 2014

It should be against the law to offend me

We don’t, normally, see swooning Over atheist cartooning But the problem is ballooning Or, that’s what they’d have us know One cartoon, they think, might seize us (They assume it cannot please us) Cos it shows the face of Jesus And his little buddy, Mo. There’s an Author whose creation Shows a cruel imagination And …

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