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Mar 07 2014

Near you on Friday nights

Another shrewd bit of ad-targeting on Facebook. Yes, I will certainly find this persuasive:

catholic

19 comments

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  1. 1
    Trebuchet

    That appears to be the North Head Lighthouse in Cape Disappointment State Park. How very appropriate.

  2. 2
    Kaveh Mousavi

    Is that near you or near me?

  3. 3
    Ophelia Benson

    Heh heh

  4. 4
    Gordon Willis

    Have they actually got some God’s mercy lined up and ready to go? Can they show for a fact that it is ready to provide and actually available? Is it stacked up in the vestry, ready to be handed out by teams of volunteers? Or are they just hoping that enough broken people grasping at straws will turn up to be added to the statistics: yes, she was a woman, but she found god this Lent. Is it too much to expect that the Church has to abide by the same code of veritability as other advertisers?

  5. 5
    Forbidden Snowflake

    I just don’t get Facebook ads. I mean, Facebook is supposed to be all up in my privacy, selling my personal information to its advertisers and what not, but I get a nice mix of ads for various woo for single people who want to “attract a partner”, things for people who are planning a wedding and things for people who are married with children. It’s like Facebook is pretending not to know.

  6. 6
    Gordon Willis

    What I’d like to know is: has the product been tested? does it do what it says on the tin (packet/label/cover/advert/pulpit)? is it safe to be given to vulnerable people with a known history of — for example — youth, innocence, depression, guilt complex, religious mania, abuse, abusing, pedantry, moralising, slave-owning, gun-owning, homosexuality, feminity, or strong allergic reaction to bad hymns? Also, are there any hidden conditions (such as use of this product implies that you have accepted all the associated conditions and agree to be bound by the regulations pertaining thereto)? Idle questions, I know, but just curious.

  7. 7
    Gordon Willis

    I see that I have omitted masculinity from my list of known histories pertaining to possible vulnerability. This will never do. But I once bought a packet of God’s mercy so I am sure I am redeemed from sins of omission.

  8. 8
    Blanche Quizno

    Just make sure you put it on according to the package directions. One size fits all.

  9. 9
    Blanche Quizno

    ps – to redeem you from the sins of emission.

  10. 10
    Gordon Willis

    Actually, Blanche, I don’t think they do those.

  11. 11
    aziraphale

    It’s a fair offer. In the old days a person with your sin level would have had to make the pilgrimage to Jerusalem, on their knees.

  12. 12
    Gordon Willis

    They leave knees intact now, do they? Funny how things change.

  13. 13
    sailor1031

    WTF? it hasn’t been “confession” for decades now – it’s “reconciliation”. Besides, catholics don’t need this anyway. Now that indulgences are back, just go one time get a “plenary indulgence” (wipes out all your sins to date) and you’re good to go!!! no need to tell anyone why you want it.

  14. 14
    UnknownEric the Apostate

    Cape Disappointment State Park

    I have never wanted to visit a park more than I do right now.

  15. 15
    Gordon Willis

    Be careful, sailor; you never know how policies might change. You might be a wicked heretic for saying such things. For example: you can’t have “reconciliation” if you won’t admit your part in whatever it is, so you’ll have to confess anyway, without necessarily calling it “confession”. Clever, eh?

    Maybe these advertising people are behind the times and still using heretical jargon. How sinful are the innocent! But they’re lucky. These days the RCC only kills women in hospitals.

    Even laundries are no longer seen as suitable killing-grounds (with luck God’s benevolent will they kill themselves, and then they go to hell for the deadly sin of despair ha ha). But no! it’s “reconciliation” now. So all those altar boys and catechumens and candidates for confirmation know what they must do to be saved. And all those fallen women. Well, maybe not the women. The RCC hasn’t finished with them yet, not by a long chalk.

  16. 16
    Gordon Willis

    Actually, I think that anyone who preaches the doctrine of hell ought to be imprisoned for extreme mental cruelty and manipulation.

  17. 17
    Gordon Willis

    You know, amongst the people I really feel sorry for are the sincere believers who want Christianity and its promise of redemption to be true, who believe in goodness and love, who know that the Church as a human institution is corrupt, and who cannot take the route to atheism because of their need for some special and absolute meaning and purpose which only eternal preservation can fulfil. They are definitely victims. They are the sane believers who will be burnt alive just as soon as the Church™ can free itself from secular democracy.

  18. 18
    Shatterface

    WTF? it hasn’t been “confession” for decades now – it’s “reconciliation”.

    Is that true? Cool!

    Do they make the sinner and God sit down together, like marriage guidance, and ask whether God’s behaviour might have contributed to the sin?

  19. 19
    Ophelia Benson

    lol

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