Jul 17 2013

Sorry we didn’t warn you first!

Some imbecile who is a “senior member” of the Taliban has written a criminally stupid “open letter” to Malala Yousafzai explaining why the Taliban shot her and how wrong she was to do the things that forced the Taliban to shoot her. It turns out they had a perfectly valid reason, which is that they thought she was maligning them. Sure; that’s fair. It’s fair the way it’s fair if some impudent girl of 12 refuses to marry some guy she doesn’t know and her family murders her to repair their broken “honor.” Totally fair. Some people matter and get to have things all their way, and other people don’t, and the people in the first group get to kill people in the second group whenever they’re at all annoyed about something.

A senior member of the Pakistani Taliban has written an open letter to Malala Yousafzai – the teenager shot in the head as she rode home on a school bus – expressing regret that he didn’t warn her before the attack, but claiming that she was targeted for maligning the insurgents.

See what I mean about imbecile and criminally stupid? Say what? “Expressing regret that he didn’t warn her before the attack”? Of course he didn’t fucking warn her before the attack! That’s because he wanted her dead! That’s like apologizing for not offering her a cup of tea before shooting her in the head.

Adnan Rasheed, who was convicted for his role in a 2003 assassination attempt on the country’s then-president Pervez Musharraf, did not apologise for the attack, which left Malala gravely wounded, but said he found it shocking.

“I wished it would never happened [sic] and I had advised you before,” he wrote.

Yeah no. Nobody wants your advice, Adnan Rasheed. You’re not the boss of all the things; you don’t get to tell schoolgirls not to go to school or shoot them in the head when they don’t obey you. And you don’t wish it had never happened, you lying scum.

In the letter, Rasheed claimed that Malala was not targeted for her efforts to promote education, but because the Taliban believed she was running a “smearing campaign” against it.

“You have said in your speech yesterday that pen is mightier than sword,” Rasheed wrote, referring to Malala’s UN speech, “so they attacked you for your sword not for your books or school.”

That’s the same thing.

The rambling four-page letter, in patchy English, citing Bertrand Russell, Henry Kissinger and historian Thomas Macaulay, was released to media organisations in Pakistan.

In it, Rasheed – a former member of Pakistan’s air force, who was among 300 prisoners to escape jail in April last year – advises Malala to return to Pakistan, join a female Islamic seminary and advocate the cause of Islam.

Hey I have a better idea – Adnan Rasheed should go to a real school and learn not to be such a stupid vicious fanatic.

H/t Kausik Datta


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  1. 1
    Acolyte of Sagan

    What is it they say? God loves a trier? Or is that ‘liar’?

  2. 2
    Marcus Ranum

    advises Malala to return to Pakistan, join a female Islamic seminary and advocate the cause of Islam.

    I bet she needs that like another hole in the head.

  3. 3
    Acolyte of Sagan

    Marcus takes the interweb.
    Another hole!

  4. 4
    Emily Isalwaysright

    “Hey we know we shot you in the head and everything, but can’t we let bygones be bygones?”

  5. 5

    “Taliban” is Arabic(?) Parsi(?) for irreversible brain damage.

  6. 6

    Oh, and there’s no need for that edjumacation stuff anyway. The Guardian reported http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jul/17/taliban-letter-malala-yousafzai

    The Taliban commander also justified recent attacks in Pakistan on health workers vaccinating children against polio by claiming the west was trying to sterilise Muslims.

    so no-one needs to learn anything about biology or vaccines anyway. They already know what they need to know.

  7. 7
    Kevin Anthoney

    Hey I have a better idea – Adnan Rasheed should go to a real school and learn not to be such a stupid vicious fanatic.

    Or jail, for running a terrorist organization that shoots young girls in the head. I don’t suppose there’s much chance of that happening?

  8. 8

    In other words, he should have threatened her first and then attacked her only if she refused to be intimidated. Well, yes, that makes sense, but seems to skip the whole “don’t threaten or attack people, especially not for going to school or for saying that people who threaten and attack girls for going to school are evil fucks” step. That step is kind of important.

  9. 9
    Bjarte Foshaug

    But, but it’s anti-imperialism, and opposing Western colonialism and one man’s ‘terrorist’ being another man’s ‘freedom fighter’ and stuff. How can the Palestinians ever hope for justice unless teenage girls are shot for the crime of being educated? :-/

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