This is not from the Onion. Repeat, this is not from the Onion.
With an agriculture degree from the Royal Agriculture College, Cirencester, and a qualification in homeopathy, it was only natural that Christine Lees of Homeopathy at Wellie Level should turn her attention to alternative therapy for farm animals.
To…what?
Alternative therapy for farm animals?
Um…why?
Well, because of the delusion that it’s better, I suppose, but why – oh never mind, no doubt it’s all explained if we just read the article.
“I had already done part of a homeopathy course before I went to Cirencester,” she says. “And I liked cows. So I put the two together for my dissertation: The role of homeopathy in the treatment of farm animals.”
During that time she says she talked with farmers and vets who were using homeopathy but not really knowing what they were doing. “There was very little support to go with it.”
Oh the farmers and vets were using homeopathy but they didn’t really know what they were doing! Whereas experts on the other hand do know what they’re doing.
Really? How? What is there to know? What is there to not know? What do the farmers and vets do wrong as a result of not knowing what they’re doing? What’s the difference between homeopathy done right and homeopathy done wrong?
“We agreed every course needed to be taught by a vet who was a qualified homeopath along with a second homeopath. I ran the syllabus,” she confirms.
“We felt three days was the maximum we could expect farmers to take off and the minimum we could give to the farmer given the size of this huge subject.”
It’s a huge subject, but in a pinch it can be taught in three days.
The courses are carefully planned. Day one is based around an introduction to homeopathy including key sessions on “the eight principles of homeopathy and the “big six” remedies,” plus on-farm practical animal observation.
Day two looks at treating acute cases with day three building on the first two days, and focusing on chronic illness.
Ooh, that is careful. I’m impressed. One day for acute illness, one day for chronic illness. Zip, all done!
Hitherto, Mrs Lees has run the course as a non-for-profit business. “I only run courses when I have enough people to pay for the teachers. We do some advertising and when I have profit it’s ploughed back into advertising. Our rationale is not to make a huge amount of money but to help people use homeopathy properly.”
Support for her initiative has come from various sources including the Prince of Wales who donated £5000 at the start. “That went towards the marketing,” she says.
Fabulous. The prince of Wales is giving them money to persuade more people to learn magic ways of treating animal illness. Abs’ly brilliant.
Those poor animals. All those bunk treatments, and they don’t even get to benefit from the placebo effect (I presume).
What a fucking waste of money.
But surely, the cows self-treat by drinking water? No intervention necessary.
It’s the farmers who are being treated here, not the animals.
Next up: alternative car maintenance.
What a load of bullocks!
Sorry, I’ll get me coat
Followed by cooking via acupuncture. Want your steak well done? 4 needles along the north south meridian of the meat. Medium rare? 2 needles, along the east west meridian.
Give them water and sugar cubes and you can save the big bill…
Given some of the things we here in the USA ‘give’ our feedlot cattle, this might be an improvement.
At least until the diseases begin to spread like wildfire through the poorly fed and cared for animals (which is most of them).
Okay, I can see where humans, you know, can choose “alternative medicine” for themselves, but fer fuck’s sake, I would NEVER inflict that shit on a being who cannot consent, two legs OR four.
Presumably the cows in question have a disease that is going untreated. Not very ethical behaviour from their carers.
“a qualification in homeopathy” is an oxymoron.
I had no idea it required a three-day course to teach people how to administer water to animals. Do they follow it up with a seminar on how to scratch your ass?
I think I’ll do a dissertation too: The mechanics of the interactions between bipedal motion and non-food item mastication.
LykeX
It’s not a proper academic dissertation without a colon somewhere.
In other words, a long-winded LOL. And a much-needed LOL. The harm this woo causes is a scandal.
Beautiful, although I guess it should really be “a novel approach for achieving a balance…” 🙂
This is animal abuse… those people are intentionally withholding legitimate medication from animals.
Defra might have something to say about that. More about homoeopathy for use in animals in the UK.
But isn’t homoeopathy supposed to treat the whole patient? How do they conduct in-depth interviews with the cows?