You know what mythical creatures seems like they would be awesome if they actually existed, but would actually be terrible? Pegasi*. I mean, think how terrible it is when a bird shits on you or right on the windshield of your car. Think of what a terrible mess geese make when they come through shitting …
Category Archive: wtf
Jan 18 2012
There is no hope for humanity
My new favorite thing is @herpderpedia on twitter, who is retweeting all of the completely moronic things people are saying because of the Wikipedia blackout. It’s simultaneously hilarious and soul crushing. There seem to be some common themes, like: Why is Wikipedia down?! (If you could read, you would know…) How am I supposed to …
Dec 07 2011
My secret is out
The only reason I support gay marriage is because I want to be able to have evil “feminist marriages” where I turn all men into my sperm producing, money giving slaves. Drat. Back to the drawing board, I suppose. Thanks to all the people out there who pretended to be gay to further the diabolical …
Nov 29 2011
I knew there was a reason I liked Harry Potter
I had no idea the Vatican had a chief exorcist. I’m not sure why I’m surprised – believing demons can possess people isn’t any wackier than believing in the resurrection. But I must say I’m disappointed. Apparently Father Gabriele Amorth is not a fan of Harry Potter: Reading JK Rowling’s Harry Potter books is no less …
Nov 17 2011
Religion is all about peace and love
For example, Mormon prophet Spencer W. Kimball wrote this about rape: ““In a forced contact such as rape or incest, the injured one is greatly outraged. If she has not cooperated and contributed to the foul deed, she is of course in a more favorable position. There is no condemnation where this is no voluntary …
Nov 16 2011
Herman Cain’s pizza divinations
If politics doesn’t work out for Herman Cain (lol), maybe he can get paid to do cheap parlor tricks. Like determining people’s personality based on the pizza they like: When questioned on what he could tell about a man by the type of pizza he likes, Cain declared, “The more toppings a man has on …
Oct 04 2011
Ben Cochran is a raging asshole
Remember that nursing student I blogged about the other day? The one who went on a disgustingly misogynistic diatribe in his student newspaper because someone couldn’t wipe his runny nose fast enough since harlots were getting birth control? Well, Ben Cochran’s apology was printed in the same newspaper today. “Apology.” If you were among the …
Oct 01 2011
More on woman hating
Ben Cochran is a nursing student at East Carolina University. He is also a misogynistic pig. I’ll let him do the talking (emphasis mine): People go to the doctor when they’re sick. If you’re a girl, sometimes you go to the doctor to get Pabst beer, or a pap smear, or something like that. What girl have …
Sep 09 2011
Welcome to Seattle, Mom & Dad
Within hours of my parents arriving in Seattle, my parents witnessed a pimp making a deal with a john by shouting a phone number and instructions out of his car while stuck in traffic on Broadway on Capitol Hill. Me: …I swear that’s the first time I’ve seen that happen. What else will they see …
Aug 24 2011
A new earthquake hypothesis
Apparently the idea that immodestly dressed women cause earthquakes is sooooo last year. The real reason? Gay marriage, duh. A New York rabbi claims gay marriage and the earthquake that shook the East Coast are directly connected. In a video uploaded to YouTube, Levin says gay rights legislation, like the gay marriage law passed in …
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