Deep thought meets poop joke

You know what mythical creatures seems like they would be awesome if they actually existed, but would actually be terrible? Pegasi*. I mean, think how terrible it is when a bird shits on you or right on the windshield of your car. Think of what a terrible mess geese make when they come through shitting on everything. Now extrapolate that to a bunch of fucking horses flying overhead. We wouldn’t be like “Oh, look at what soaring majestic beauty.” We’d be like “Oh fuck nooooooooo” and running for shelter.

That is all.

*Yes, the plural of Pegasus is Pegasi because “Pegasus” is Latin. The Greek version is “Pegasos.” I learned this solely because I wanted my discussion of Pegasus crap attacks to be grammatically correct. Even poop jokes can accidentally teach you something.


  1. says

    This so reminded me of an old limerick I read somewhere or other.

    Birdy, birdy in the sky
    Why you poo-poo in my eye?
    I didn’t sigh
    I didn’t cry
    Thank god, cows don’t fly!!

  2. Jett Perrobone says

    Since “Pegasi” is plural, the first sentence should really be:

    You know what mythical creatures seem like it would be awesome if they actually existed, but would actually be terrible?

    Now, I believe it’s grammatically correct! :)

  3. says

    Drat, you are correct. I originally wrote it to be “Pegasus” but then changed it to add the quip about the plural form…and then didn’t change the rest.

  4. Richard Simons says

    The version we recited as kids was
       Little birdy flying high
       Dropped a message from the sky.
       Upset parson wiped his eye,
       Thanking God that cows can’t fly.

  5. Simon says

    Greek word is Πήγασος with plural Πήγασοι. Which is pronounced ‘Pigasos’ and ‘Pigasi’ respectively. Ironically this is closer to JREF’s mascot than anything else!

    I grew up in Greece and was actually discussing this with my wife the other day.

    PS Plural flying pigs would generate a hell of a lot of poop as well :-)

  6. says

    ‘oi pegasoi’ puts me in mind of closely-shorn flying horses, possibly shod in Doc Marten horseshoes. Would some brony-type make this reality?

  7. E.A. Blair says

    Anyont who is an astronomy buff would know that “Pegasi” is not only the nominative plural but the genitive singular and that the star Markab is also known as α Pegasi, and, along with β Pegasi (Scheat), γ Pegasi (Algenib) and α Andromedae (Alpheratz) form the asterism known as the Great Square of Pegasus.

  8. Mike says

    In the past, I’ve often said “Don’t leave a brilliant mind to its own devices for too long, or positively mad shit will start coming out of it.”
    This is the first time I’ve seen that happen literally.

  9. ajb47 says

    Dungeons & Dragons Monster Manuals in their Ecology sections never mention that particular attack ability of the Pegasus.


  10. Drakk says

    Am I the only one wondering if such a creature is even biologically feasible? What kind of wingspan would you need, keeping in mind the ratio of weight to lifting power…and all that sort of thing.

  11. Shaun says

    Now I agree with you 100% on that, but this seems like a slightly more random observation than usual. Is there a particular reason why you happened to be pondering the implications of pegasi?

  12. says

    Last verse of Tom Lehrer’s A Christmas Carol: “Let the raucous sleigh bells jingle // Hail our dear old friend Kris Kringle // Driving his reindeer across the sky // Don’t stand underneath when they fly by!”

  13. J.M. Pierce says

    In the bible it clearly states that Pegasi were only known to shat when all four legs were touching the ground, and would NEVER relieve themselves while flying. Unless, of course they were flying over infidel territory……hence the bur-qua….

  14. Jim Baerg says

    Only on a planet with denser air and/or lower gravity.

    This guy has done some science fictional world building that include a few such worlds. No flying horse poop jokes though.

  15. Predator Handshake says

    I think an airdropped poop attack could fall under the 9th Amendment of the Dungeon Master Constitution; but what would you roll to save against it? Reflex to dodge, Fortitude against the poop germs, maybe Will against the psychological damage from being bombarded with shit from above? Having been pooped on by birds, I think I’d go with Will.

  16. interrobang says

    My mother taught me

    Spring is sprung
    The grass is riz
    I wonder where
    The birdies is?
    Here comes one
    A-flying by
    He dropped some whitewash
    In my eye
    But I’m a big girl
    I won’t cry!
    I’m just so glad
    That cows don’t fly!

  17. Kes says

    Ecktually, “Pegasus” is a proper name for a specific winged horse, the son of Medusa and Poseidon, who was born out of a drop of her blood along with his brother, Chrysaor the giant, when Perseus decapitated her, because she couldn’t give birth due to her curse, dont’cha know.

  18. Kaleberg says

    At least Pegasus has a plural form. Pity the mongoose, a singular animal, because no one can say two of them.

  19. says

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