Speaking in Bothell, WA this weekend

If you’re in the Seattle area and want to join some skeptics for dinner while listening to me talk about boobquake, you’re in luck! The Seattle Society for Sensible Explanations (run by the wonderful SkepDoc, Harriet Hall) is hosting me this Saturday, November 13th. All the information you need is at their website (along with a very flattering bio of yours truly *blushes*). You must RSVP by Wednesday if you want to attend.

See you there!

Goddamnit, astrology

One of my friends grabbed a copy of The Stranger before our bus ride to HUMP. He suggested he should read my horoscope for fun since my birthday was included in that week’s edition. After giggling about how astrology is amusing bullshit, I suggest he read me three different horoscopes, and I’d have to guess which one is mine. We agonized over the experimental setup for a bit (“But I know you’re a Scorpio! What if my tone of voice is different for that one? And there’s still a high chance you’ll pick yours randomly…”), then said fuck it and played our little game anyway.

I was impressed. These went beyond your usual astrological predictions and utilized other types of superstitions as well. The first one he read was all about how you should get personalized homeopathy that week. “Well, that’s definitely not mine,” I quipped. The second one could have applied to me if I stretched, but I waited to hear the third:

“Technorati, a search engine for blogs, says there are well over 100 million blogs on the internet, and that figure doesn’t include millions of Chinese-language blogs. So self-expression is thriving on a global scale, right? Not exactly. Most blogs-the estimate is 94 percent-have not been updated for at least four months. In accordance with the current astrological indicators, I expect you to do something about this problem. Refresh your blog in the coming week, or consider launching one if you don’t have one. But don’t stop there. Use every other way you can imagine to show the world who you are. Be articulate and demonstrative and revelatory.”

Me: Well, obviously I have to pick that one.
Friend: That’s Scorpio!
Me: You’re shitting me.

We had a good laugh at the insane coincidence, but that’s all it was. As our other friend rightfully noted, it’s still written vaguely enough to apply to everyone. Regular blogger? Keep up the good work! Have a defunct blog? Update it! Been thinking about blogging? Start one! Don’t even know what the hell a blog is? Express yourself in any way you want!

These are why horoscopes are so effective in duping people – they’re written so no matter who you are, they sound oddly specific. And while it’s all fun and games for some people, others get hurt.

"Ask an Atheist" dominates Seattle public access TV awards

A big congratulations to my fellow Seattle heathens. Ask an Atheist, a public access television show that answers live questions about atheism, won four awards at 2010 SCAN Awards: Favorite Religious, Spiritual, or Faith Program, Favorite Locally Produced Program, Favorite New Program of 2010, and Favorite Studio/Live Program. Apparently their wins made the award ceremony amusing:

The event featured musical acts by local talent including: a gospel choir who did not appear to enjoy our success, a solo acoustic folk act, and some traditional Indian music from the host of another show on SCAN, ‘Bandish‘. Our success at the event turned us into a bit of a joke about half-way through the show, with Warren Etheredge of ‘The High Bar’ asking if our success was part of “God’s plan”.

Congratulations, Ask an Atheist! Their shows are also available online, so check them out here!

I watched someone fuck a crucifix

That’s my special way of saying that HUMP was fucking brilliant. Or brilliant fucking. Whichever way you want to look at it, it was amazing.

Me: *takes out a pen and paper*
Friend: …Are you going to take notes?
Me: I’m a blogger, shush!

It’s hard to explain exactly how much awesome was packed into these videos, but here were some highlights, including my personal picks for the awards:

  • Stop motion porn, with a literal pearl necklace representing ejaculation…and becoming a pearl necklace.
  • A fivesome…where two of the participants were alien blow up dolls.
  • Fucking on a pile of coffee beans, resulting in the beans being cutely stuck to the guy’s butt.
  • “Bukkake Circus” – yes, it involves bukkake AND scary clowns. I don’t know if it was more or less scary because it was animated.
  • A beautifully artistic video on fireplay
  • Items laying around indicating a raunchy public sexcapade…pan to the police car, only to find a couple that looks like your mom and dad sitting in the back. Hilariously cute ending.
  • Claymation monster sex.
  • The best It Gets Better Project video ever. The guy is trying to give a serious talk while being blown off camera. Once the camera pans out, they fuck like bunnies to prove that it indeed gets better. Much better.
  • A funny yet hot video on the do’s and don’ts of electricplay, where no people were actually shown, but the audio alone was amazing.
  • While the electricplay video was really hot, I had to vote for the most blasphemous video for Best Kink. It started with a nun masturbating to a photo of Jesus. I was dying at “Fuck me hard, Jesus!” but it just kept getting more and more blasphemous. She squirted all over a photo of Jesus. Then she finds some random guy on the street to blow, the whole time the both of them saying stuff like “My boyfriend Jesus is going to punish me for this…eternally.” The climax of the video involved the nun sticking the long skinny part of her crucifix necklace into the urethra of the guy’s penis. I already find sounding (yes, it has a name) uncomfortable to watch, but I think the fact that it was with a crucifix suitably shocked most of the audience. Oh, and while it was happening, the guy said “I feel the Lord inside me!” Yeah, now you know why I had to vote for this.
  • My vote for Best Sex went to the video where we learned that the logos for Apple and Nike were created after some hot as hell gay sex. Like, wow. The only bad thing about this video is that it means there are two more super attractive guys in the world who are gay *shakes fist*
  • The video I picked for Best of Show and Best Humor was insanely witty, and definitely received the most laughter from the audience. They took an episode of America’s Funniest Home Videos and made porn videos to replace the original ones, but they fit absolutely perfectly with the host’s commentary and audience reactions. They even had pornified commercials, which were just as perfect. I laughed so hard I started to cry.

People kept asking me, “Don’t you think it’s going to be awkward watching porn in a room full of strangers – or worse, with friends?” Obviously those people don’t know me that well. The first video was super funny, which helped diffuse any tension that was in the room. But watching with other people is what made it even more enjoyable. Hearing the audience laugh or cry “aaauuuuugggghhhh” in unison was great, as was glancing over to see my friends’ reactions to a particularly funny or horrifying bit.

Friend: *whispers* That was my first gay sex video I’ve ever watched!
Me: *shakes hand*

Overall, I was impressed by the quality of the videos. Most were very well done cinematically and artistically. And honestly, the people were way more attractive and the sex was way hotter than your stereotypical porn because it wasn’t super fake. Seriously, porn industry, not everyone needs a foot long cock and fake boobs to make something erotic.

And a personal highlight – I finally got to meet Dan Savage! When we were waiting to go inside the theater he recognized me, said hello, gave me a hug, and then we chatted for a bit. I can’t get over how I listen to his podcast and read his posts on Slog religiously, and then he’s telling me that he reads my blog every day and is looking forward to my review of HUMP. It’s just so bizarrely awesome to have someone you respect so much say that. So, uh, hi Dan, and thanks!

HUMP managed to exceed my expectations, and I had pretty high expectations going in. This is definitely becoming a yearly tradition for me as long as I’m in Seattle – and maybe even beyond that!

Not that this is shocking, but…

“Money for Science May Be Scarce With a Republican-Lead House.” From the NYTimes:

In the Republican platform, Pledge to America, the party vows to cut discretionary nonmilitary spending to 2008 levels. Under that plan, research and development at nonmilitary agencies — including those that sponsor science and health research — would fall 12.3 percent, to $57.8 billion, from the Mr. Obama’s request of $65.9 billion for fiscal year 2011.

An analysis by the American Association for the Advancement of Science looked at what would happen if all of the agencies were cut to the 2008 amounts. The National Institutes of Health would lose $2.9 billion, or 9 percent, of its research money. The National Science Foundation would lose more than $1 billion, or almost 19 percent, of its budget, and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration would lose $324 million, or 34 percent.

And guess who gets to apply for NSF and NIH fellowships and grants next fall? Yep, me! As if they weren’t hard enough to get already. I wasn’t planning on applying for fellowships this year, but maybe I should while there’s still money left.

Well, at least I’m in a somewhat more secure situation. My program guarantees a stipend for the full five years, so I’ll still be able to pay rent and feed myself. And my department has one of the most well funded research programs in the university, so my research project will still probably have funding, especially since I’ll be working on humans (humans really like to pour money into studying themselves).

But the vast majority of science graduate students aren’t so lucky. Even right now, it’s common for graduate students to depend on outside fellowships for their stipends. And if you’re not working on some sexy topic like human disease or biological warfare agents, those grants are going to become even more competitive.

I’m not so much concerned on missing out on the prestige and small raise that would come with an NSF fellowship. I’m concerned that the United States is likely going to fall even farther behind in science.

But hey, I can always go abroad for my post-doc…

I'm going to HUMP tonight!

…I mean the noun, not the verb! HUMP is Dan Savage’s brainchild – an amateur porn film festival right here in Seattle. I’m super excited. Everyone I’ve talked to who’s been before says it’s amazing – you know it’s going to be good when there’s a prize for “Best Humor.” And I hear the gays usually outdo the breeders, which is even better.

I still think a graduate school themed porno is just begging to be made. Think of the possibilities:

Student A: Sigh, another night all alone in the lab.
Student B: *knock knock* I have a reagent delivery for you… in my pants.
Student A: Oh yeah baby, make me matriculate! *six years later* Almost… there…

It would give a whole new meaning to “interdisciplinary collaborations.”

Feel free to amuse yourself with amusing graduate school themed innuendos and title suggestions in the comments.

Can I try to Pharyngulate a poll?

The Bad Faith awards are up at the New Humanist. You can vote for who was the biggest “enemy of reason” in 2010. Let me point out who one of the choices is:

Ahhh!!! My arch-nemesis! …If saying a stupid thing about women and science that I later mocked and accidentally turned into a viral boob related meme qualifies someone for arch-nemesis status.

Anyway, you can vote for whoever you want, since there are plenty of “deserving” candidates, but I’ll be voting the pro-boobquake ticket.

Awww, I missed the Scientologists!

Their exhibit “Psychiatry: An Industry of Death” was rotating in Seattle. And when I say rotating, I mean it was temporarily in an old Hollywood Video Store. And when I say exhibit, I mean insane propaganda filled screed. Of course, I guess it’s easy to be anti-psychiatry when you believe the alien Xenu came to Earth millions of years ago to drop hydrogen bombs into volcanoes and we’re now all infected with the ghosts of his victims. To them, real psychological disorders probably seem normal in comparison.

Anyway, it closed for good last night. I’m secretly thankful, because I know the masochistic blogger in me would have felt compelled to check it out. Now I can just giggle about it without the inevitable facepalming.

My guest post on atheist women at Ms. Magazine

A couple of days ago Ms. Magazine’s blog ran a piece claiming there were no female atheist leaders or forces, and that the atheist movement was unwilling to address the problem. After I posted my response and it spread around the atheist community, Ms. Blog asked me to do a guest post to “rectify” the previous article.

It’s up now. Here’s the beginning to give you a taste:

Where Are All The Atheist Women? Right Here

Is it accurate when the media portrays the atheist movement as a club for old white men? It’s undeniable that most of the time men outnumber women, whether you’re looking at conference attendees or conference speakers, blog readers or best-selling authors. But when Monica Shores wrote that “no women are currently recognized as leaders or even mentioned as a force within the movement,” the atheist community cried out.

Why? Because it’s blatantly untrue.

You can read the rest of the article here.

It’s hard squeezing everything I wanted to say when working with limited space, but I tried to give a more accurate representation of all the wonderful atheist women we have in the movement. Hopefully the nonreligious women who read this piece will realize that, yes, there is a community that’s welcoming to them.

Someone please make this for us evolutionary biologists

This man is a genius:

Tired of arguing with climate change deniers in 140 character quips, [Nigel Leck] wrote a script to do it for him. Chatbot @AI_AGW scans Twitter every five minutes searching for hundreds of phrases that fit the usual denier argument paradigm. Then it serves them up some science.

Those responses are pulled from a database of hundreds of responses that the software matches up to the argument made by the original tweeter. Those who claim the entire solar system is warming are met with something like: “Sun’s output has barely changed since 1970 & is irrelevant to recent global warming” followed by a link to corresponding scientific research.

People on the other end of an argument don’t usually pick up on the fact that they are arguing with a program and will continue the argument. And AI_AGW continues to fire back responses. Even when the tweeter keeps throwing the same argument at the chatbot, it will respond with a variety of different arguments and links.

Programmers, please get on this. It gets so old dealing with the same ignorant arguments over and over again. I would kill for an automated Index to Creationist Claims. Sure, we may only educate a small fraction of people making the claims – the ones who are open to science but simply haven’t learned about evolution. But the rest of the time, the hilarity of watching hardcore creationists argue with a bot would make all the effort worth it.