Mike’s Birthday Puzzle – Main Clue

This is a continuation of the puzzle I talk about here and here.

I actually received this in the mail a while ago, but I wanted to try to figure it out on my own before posting it. Here’s what I received in the mail from Mike (click for larger):I’ve already figured out a lot of it (and found some secret messages in the list of words)… but I’m not going to give any hints yet, so you guys can work together to figure it out. If it turns out inside knowledge is needed from me (I think it may be in a couple of places), I’ll chime in in the comments. Have fun!

lolmoms

While I was home last weekend, my mom showed me a card she bought for her friend’s birthday. There was a black cat (like ours) sitting on top of a washing machine, saying something ridiculous and badly spelled – I don’t remember what, but you know what I mean, lolcat speak. I laughed for a good amount of time, and my mom seemed surprised.

Mom: I didn’t send you this one for your birthday because I thought you would just be confused, since it’s kind of silly.
Me: I wouldn’t be confused, I would be proud that you sent me a lolcat!
Mom: A what?
Me: *dawning realization that this is all an accident* You know, like l.o.l., laugh out loud?
Mom: Yeah, I know that…
Me: It’s an internet meme…?
Mom: A what?
Me: …It’s this really popular joke on the internet to have a funny picture of a cat and then some poorly spelled joke around it.
Mom: Oh! I didn’t know that!

I was mildly disappointed that her excellent choice in card was an accident, but I would have been tremendously shocked if she knew what a lolcat was. So once I got home I sent her a bunch of images of lolcats, which she seemed to appreciate. A couple of days later, I got this second birthday card in the mail:Okay, I’ll admit “cumz” made me laugh for inappropriate reasons, but I definite give this an A for Effort! Or Epic Win of Effort, or something. Also, I think we need to start lolMcCatz as how parents interpret internet memes – guaranteed humor right there. I still remember the day I had to explain a Rick Roll to my mom, and her only response was, “Oh, but I like that song!”

H1N1 and Over Skepticism?

My parents are freaking out about H1N1. Every day the news reports a new case of some young person dying, and they say I better go get the flu shot Or Else. I personally feel that the media is overreacting just to have sensationalist, scary stories that grab people’s attention. Most people who contract H1N1 have mild symptoms, and it hasn’t really killed people any more than the normal flu does…the news just doesn’t report normal flu cases. I understand that not many people have immunity so we’re worried about it’s future effects, but I can’t really force myself to freak out about that right now.

Am I being too skeptical about H1N1? Is this something I should be shaking in my boots about? I have to admit, I fall prey to kind of woo-thinking when it comes to medical things. No, I’m not an anti-vaxer – I trust vaccines and understand their importance. But at the same time, I’ve never had a flu shot and I’ve never gotten seriously ill. The couple of times I’ve had the flu it was just like any other illness – you’re mildly miserable for a couple of days, and then you’re fine. I’m not inclined to change my practices that appear to have worked so far.

My problem is I trust my own immune system and the millions of years of evolution that went into making it a little too much. I don’t take Advil unless my headache is severe, I don’t take Tylenol until my cold becomes unbearable, I avoid superfluous antibiotics, I don’t go to the eye doctor until my vision becomes blurry (actually still have to go, whoops). I know it’s a horrible habit, but I’ve always had a “suck it up unless it’s serious” mentality (or as my dad says for injuries, “Rub some dirt in it”). I feel like I don’t want to build up a tolerance to medication so I can still use it when I really need it.

Am I being completely irrational? You won’t hurt my feelings if you say so – I think we’re all irrational about something. Are there other people out there who think like I do?

Happy 6012th Birthday, Earth

This is slightly belated since I was busy yesterday, but Happy Birthday, Earth! According to James Ussher’s 17th century calculations, God created the Earth on October 23, 4004 BC. We had a mini birthday party at Wednesday’s club meeting, and I made brownies:I promise that I omitted Asia and Australia due to a lack of planning, not some deep-seated hatred for those continents.

This is all fun until you realize people actually believe this stuff. Many dates from the Creation Museum were taken from Ussher’s chronology. Because you know, one guy interpreting the Bible is so solid that nearly 400 years of scientific developments doesn’t really matter.

Who Killed Jesus?

Purdue has been full of events dealing with religion lately. Yesterday I ran into this group:
Some of my club members mentioned they were on Memorial Mall on Wednesday, so when I saw they were still there, I dropped by. One of my friends blogged about his reaction, which was different than mine since he grew up Jewish. He initially thought the event was going to be something anti-Semetic since Jews are often persecuted with the explanation that they’re the ones who killed Jesus.

I ended up talking to some of the people there for about an hour. They were very nice and thoughtful, definitely not extremists or anything. I was kind of amused because a couple recognized me – they’ve read my blog (hello!). I assume this is because the pastor that’s leading their Q&A session tonight (which is what this was advertising) is Brent Aucoin, who you might remember as the pastor who visited my presentation on the Creation Museum.

That being said, I still fundamentally disagreed with what they believed (big surprise, right?). Most of the stuff we discussed has been gone over a ton by other people already, so I’ll just touch on what I thought were some of the more interesting points.

1. I really need to brush up on my philosophy/theology. Everyone has their area of expertise, and mine is definitely the evolution/creationism debate. I don’t think someone should be expected to be an expert on everything, but I feel kind of stupid when I can’t coherently discuss religion on the spot. I definitely feel more comfortable when I have a moment to reflect, which is why I like blogging. Not signing up for a debate any time soon.

2. One of their main points was that they don’t believe that salvation is works based. The most important thing is to accept Jesus and believe in God, and once you do that you will live your life accordingly. Even if you’re a good person, you would go to hell because everyone in a sinner and rejecting God is pretty much the worst thing you can do. Obviously I don’t believe God even exists or that Jesus had any supernatural abilities (I doubt if Biblical Jesus even existed), which kind of makes the point moot, but let’s just say they’re right.

On one point, I agreed with them. You don’t want people doing good acts just to be rewarded, or avoiding bad acts just so they won’t be punished. You want people acting good for goodness’s sake. But that’s where the agreement stopped. I just can’t imagine a God so full of himself that the most important thing in the universe – punishable by eternal suffering – is not worshiping him. In their point of view, God is awesome so that is awful if you don’t see his beauty – but if it’s so important, why does he even give you the ability not to believe in him? God gave us free will and the ability to do evil things, or to reason and come to the conclusion that he doesn’t exist. He also knows everything that will happen in the universe, so he knows people will end up doing things that will damn them. So didn’t God therefore do the damning?

tl;dr, free will and omnipotence makes absolutely no sense.

3. Another point they made was about how Jesus sacrificed himself to us. A member brought up an interesting point at our meeting on Wednesday, so I asked them. Is it really a sacrifice if there are no consequences for Jesus? Jesus is God and knows that when he dies, he’s going to come back from the dead and ascend to heaven, so dying really doesn’t matter. It’s like this: if a policeman pushes someone out of the way of a bus and dies, that’s a sacrifice. He saved someone else’s life at the expense of his own. But if Superman pushes someone out of the way of a bus, there’s no sacrifice because he knows he’ll be totally fine.

Their answer was that the sacrifice wasn’t death, but being pulled away from God. Jesus took on all of our past and future sins, and that brought him as far away from God as possible, which was agonizing to him. …This still doesn’t make any sense to me. Jesus is God, so how can he be brought away from himself? Even if that was somehow possible, he still knows it’s all going to be okay, since he’s God and all and knows the plan, so any agony is only temporary and not really a sacrifice. They then admitted the holy trinity doesn’t really make sense to them, which was yet something else we could agree on.

While I don’t agree with their beliefs or their reasoning, I was happy that they could intelligently talk about things. I’ve run into far too many people who belief something just because that’s what their parents told them, and they’ve never given it any thought. These people are definitely thinking, even though I think they haven’t reached the correct conclusions. They’re promoting discussion rather than just talking at you, which is always a good thing.

I’m interested to see what they say at tonight’s Q&A session – I’m guessing it’ll be similar to the discussion I had with them. Unfortunately for you guys, I’m not going to be masochistic and sit through it for your reading pleasure because I’m going on a date (amazing, I know). Sorry – unlike Jesus, I only make so many sacrifices.

Flying Spaghetti Monster Jack-O-Lantern

I’m very proud of what’s adorning my balcony right now! My roommate purchased a nice sized pumpkin for Halloween – I drew the design, and she did the carving. I think it came out pretty nice!
Hurray for Flying Spaghetti Monster jack-o-lanterns!. His eyes are kind of falling apart, though. I blame the horrible infestation of lady bugs in West Lafayette (seriously, you can’t walk outside without being covered in them) that are apparently munching away at His Noodliness. Blasphemy!

Mike's Birthday Puzzle – Clue #2

I just received an email from “Jnnfr Mccrght” – my name without vowels – from a gmail account that was obviously created by Mike. Here’s the message, no edits on my part:

Subject: X

a congress has senators
a parlament, owls
sooner or later
you’ll need to buy vowels
until that time comes
don’t over-think it
if my puzle is a cocktail
i wouldn’t yet drink it
but these index card clues
into your brain they’re tearing
i have a fish in my ear
so i have trouble herring
but don’t worry about them
if they make you bemused
in a few days or so
you’ll be even more confused
so until that time comes
prepare for what it’s in store
i should be a nice guy
but to confuse you some more:
i’m now eating my words
with a knife (not a fork)
wish you were here with me
in chapaqua, new york

Translated, I think it means “I think it’s hilarious how all of you people are over thinking things, wait until I send you real clues.” Of course, I’m still over thinking things, and noticing how Parliament is missing an “i” and puzzle is missing a “z.” Hmmmm….

EDIT: Got a follow up email:

“In the 7th-to-last line, “it’s” should be “is.” It was a genuine grammatical error and should not be considered a hint toward anything (seriously, my friend).

–Mr. Puzzle”

Mike’s Birthday Puzzle – Clue #2

I just received an email from “Jnnfr Mccrght” – my name without vowels – from a gmail account that was obviously created by Mike. Here’s the message, no edits on my part:

Subject: X

a congress has senators
a parlament, owls
sooner or later
you’ll need to buy vowels
until that time comes
don’t over-think it
if my puzle is a cocktail
i wouldn’t yet drink it
but these index card clues
into your brain they’re tearing
i have a fish in my ear
so i have trouble herring
but don’t worry about them
if they make you bemused
in a few days or so
you’ll be even more confused
so until that time comes
prepare for what it’s in store
i should be a nice guy
but to confuse you some more:
i’m now eating my words
with a knife (not a fork)
wish you were here with me
in chapaqua, new york

Translated, I think it means “I think it’s hilarious how all of you people are over thinking things, wait until I send you real clues.” Of course, I’m still over thinking things, and noticing how Parliament is missing an “i” and puzzle is missing a “z.” Hmmmm….

EDIT: Got a follow up email:

“In the 7th-to-last line, “it’s” should be “is.” It was a genuine grammatical error and should not be considered a hint toward anything (seriously, my friend).

–Mr. Puzzle”

Twitter trending backfires on Christians

Apparently many Christians on Twitter were repeating the saying “No God, No Peace; Know God, Know Peace.” They were retweeting it to try to spread the word. Well, it became the top trending topic, but kind of backfired on them…
Yes, Twitter’s algorithm made “No God” and “Know Peace” trending topics, much to Christians’ chagrin. Whoopsie! Then I had to go start instigating things

Let’s hijack the trending topic, shall we? There is probably No God, so get over it and enjoy your lives #atheism

And promoting my fellow instigators

Know god, no peace; No god, know peace. #atheism

But if you want a really good laugh, go take a look at the “No God” thread. It’s mostly Christians freaking out that “No God” became a trending topic, even though it was their own fault. It’s quite amusing!

Feel free to join in in the tweeting!

Move over Dan Brown – I have a better puzzle mystery

A couple of days ago I received a small envelope in the mail with unusual handwriting and no return address. Intrigued, I opened it and found the following note cards. Top note card was on the top of stack, left image is the front and right image is the back of each card. Click for larger images.
I think the initial reaction of most normal people would be, “What the hell, what insane serial killer sent me this?!” (okay, maybe not totally normal people). My first thought, on the other hand, was “Mike’s Birthday Puzzle.” I checked the stamp on the letter, and yep – from the town of his university. Nice try concealing your handwriting, but foiled by the United States Postal Service!

Mike is one of my best friends, and in addition to being hilarious and a brilliant mathematician, he’s also a Puzzle Master. I think he’s deserving of this title since he’s full of trivia (go on Jeopardy already, Mike!), always carrying around puzzle magazines, and has created unique puzzles that have been printed in said magazines multiple times. During our sophomore year of high school, Mike decided (maybe out of boredom) to create a puzzle filled treasure hunt that would lead to my birthday gift. I would have to figure out one clue to find out where the next one was hidden – usually somewhere in one of our classrooms – until it led me to my present. It was so fun, for both him and me, that it started a tradition. Every October since then I start getting puzzles, so by the time November 2nd rolls around, I’ll have found my gift.

Theoretically.

See, the part that I didn’t mention is that Mike is way, way smarter than me. And while his puzzles seem to get better and better, I seem to get stupider and stupider. I generally have to resort to outside help and many hints, and I think he takes special glee in the fact that Mike’s Birthday Puzzle is infamous enough to deserve capitalization and a certain amount of fear. But I have the upper hand this year, Mike! I have a blog! So fair readers, I present you with the first clue of many in the puzzle – the note cards – and I will update you with whatever other information I receive.

That being said, I have no idea what those note cards mean. I wouldn’t put it past him if the whole thing is a red herring just to make me go mad. So if I have to go mad, you’re going down with me.