Our precious bodily fluids


We are made of lots of water. It’s sobering to think if we run just a quart or two low, madness, misery and eventually death awaits. I was reminded of this in gruesome detail starting Saturday. It was either a stomach bug masquerading as a migraine or vice-versa. By Sunday evening I was severely dehydrated with a thundering headache. Combined with sleep deprivation it got bad enough that I’m pretty sure I began to hallucinate.

In the wee hours of Monday morning, around 5 AM, I saw a pretty light outside my apartment. For some reason I thought it was a mini UFO, similar to the ones in Batteries Not Included. I guess anyway, there was no rhyme or reason to it, but I don’t think I was dreaming. There were was some work being down outside my apartment on a sewer line and I think my ravaged brain somehow cooked a work light into a UFO. Fortunately about then whatever it was that got ahold of me loosened its grip. I was able to keep water down, I took some salt and potassium tablets, felt much better, got some food in me, and slowly came out of it.

At which point two things happened: just like waking up after a blinding blackout drunk I realized I had no idea at the time how how bad it was, there are hours I can’t account for. I probably should have been in a hospital. A bag or two of saline might have fixed me right up. Second I finally fell into a deep sleep Monday afternoon and just woke up a few hours ago.

Imagine that this happened to a less skeptical person, who happened to be seeing a real flaky therapist. It wouldn’t be too difficult to gin it up into a UFO abduction story.


  1. busterggi says

    The false memories the aliens implanted in you to disbelieve in your abuction worked very well – they have made great progress in that area but only among skeptics.

  2. thebookofdave says

    The place hasn’t changed much since your last post. I’m glad you’re back on your feet. You really should check your lawn for crop circles, though. Make sure there weren’t any pet mutilations on in your neighborhood, just to rule out aliens.

  3. dmcw says

    Pet mutilations aren’t necessarily an indication of aliens. Just sayin’

    Says the alien…

  4. poose says

    I’ve been suffering a similar (probably the same) bug for a while now-no appetite, and everything you throw down your gullet comes back up about 20 minutes later to the point of dry heaves. I suspect Noro virus as an epidemic of it was reported here in Indiana.

    I never hallucinated, but the sleep deprivation is spot on. I eventually resorted to sleep aids (mostly Dyphenhydramine) and would force myself to drink electrolyte replacements and clench my teeth to keep from vomiting.

    I was successful about half the time, but even if it only stayed down for a while the stomach absorbed some of it. Between the Flu and this-I’ve been Ill for over a month and lost 21 lbs.

    It felt weird not eating any food for almost a month! Appetite just came back with a vengeance!

  5. magistramarla says

    Now it’s Saturday, and Stephen hasn’t posted again.
    Is everything all right?

  6. says

    I work in Afghanistan where the daytime temperatures reach 50C+ in the summer. Despite being primarily an office worker, I often find myself getting headaches as the first sign of dehydration. By that point, I’m already somewhat physically and mentally incapacitated but haven’t noticed…due to my incapacitation. It’s incredibly insidious.

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