Things that make creationists look stupid

Creationists do not like the idea of vestigial organs, no sir. That their divine creator might have slipped up and stuck in some tissue that is less than perfect is anathema to them, and so we often encounter bitter denunciations of the whole concept of vestigial organs — organs which have a modified or reduced function, and which are largely superfluous. The best example is the human appendix, which can be snipped out and thrown away with the patient no worse for the experience (other than, of course, the general consequences of surgery). You can find many examples of creationists insisting that the appendix really is a an important organ, but I was just pointed to a real doozy at Kent Hovind’s site. This one had me laughing out loud before the end.

Start with the title: it is one of a series called “Things that make evolutionists look stupid”. This particular article is about the appendix, and it starts out conventionally enough, for a creationist screed.

For years surgeons removed appendixes with the attitude that they had no function and were no serious loss. It is only fairly recently that it has been realized that the appendix has a number of functions, all of which are important. The appendix is an important part of our immune system. It is a germ free section of the dirtiest part of the body that helps the body produce antibodies and protects the intestinal tract from infection, It also is on the bottom of the only part of the intestinal tract where waste materials must move upward. The appendix performs an important role by creating fluids that force waste matter up this section of the intestines. Without an appendix we become more susceptible to a large number of diseases that are caused by bacteria and viruses, as well as to cancer.

Furthermore, as Ian Taylor has pointed out, many of our alleged ancestors, including monkeys and apes do not have appendixes, while rabbits, wombats and opossums do.

“Vestigial” does not mean “functionless”. It means that it has become superfluous or reduced. The appendix is loaded with lymphatic and immune system components, but this is unsurprising: such tissues are scattered throughout the digestive system. The question is, why is this patch of lymphatic tissue associated with a little protrusion of the gut? The author’s explanations don’t work. The idea that it’s producing fluids to push the gut contents upward is novel, but ridiculous — it’s tiny compared to the volume of the colon, and can’t produce that much fluid. If you’ve ever seen the small intestine, you’d also know that the ascending colon isn’t the only part of the tract where contents must flow upwards. It also isn’t “germ-free”, which is a silly assertion—your gut contains somewhere around 1014 bacteria. It’s a great sloshing tube of culture media for happy microorganisms.

As for the claim that it’s vital for health, I’ve seen a number of studies that look for statistical correlations between appendectomies and cancers, and even some experimental studies in animals where it was removed and outcomes measured against controls…and I’m sorry, I haven’t seen any suggestion that it had the effect described. The author would be better off moving to a more nebulous claim. I like the idea that it is the location of the soul, since I had mine removed when I was nine, and a few years later decided I was a godless atheist.

I don’t know who Ian Taylor is, but he seems willing to make up facts. Other primates do have an appendix; chimpanzees have even been known to develop acute appendicitis. The creationists just keep making stuff up! And need I add that up until now, he’s been arguing that the appendix is an essential organ, and now he is (falsely) claiming that other animals don’t need it?

But wait, this isn’t the funny part. That was the boring typical part. Here’s where I started laughing.

I would not offend the bought and sold fascists who regulate the health industry in America by offering medical advice,

Wait for it. You just know with a lead-up like that that what he is about to do is…offer medical advice.

but I will relate alternatives to appendectomies that have worked for others without actually advising anyone to follow these procedures. Richard Schulze, the successful naturopathic doctor so hated by the FDA and AMA for being successful, has outlined the way that he has dealt with appendicitis, which I will outline here. Appendix problems are caused by poor diet and severe constipation. The first thing that he recommends is to immediately stop eating and get an enema. A high enema, or high colonic, is very much preferable. A series of regular rectal enemas may have to suffice, if the proper equipment is not available. The enema will relieve the pressure that has built up inside of the appendix. It might even be a good idea to start with a rectal enema and work your way up to a high enema.

I’ve noticed that quacks are often obsessed with sticking things up people’s asses. I detect some sublimation going on here…

But wait, he’s not done.

Fasting is recommended to be done for a few days, during which time only juice or water should be drunk and some herbal laxatives. An appendix problem is much more serious if there has been a perforation. If there has been an infection caused by a perforated appendix, antibiotic-like herbs should be taken in very heavy doses. Purple coneflower (or echinacea, echinacea purpurea, pallida and angustifolia) and garlic (Allium sativum) are recommended. A light massage of the abdomen would help at this point, but it should only be done with great care, if there is inflammation.

This guy is actually prescribing enemas and herbs for a perforated appendix?

A final procedure is to apply castor oil packs 24 hours per day over the appendix. Only fresh caster oil should be used. Rancid castor oil can be more detrimental than beneficial.

OK, enough is enough. This is too silly, and going on much too long, especially for an article in which he says he isn’t going to give medical advice.

Oh, no. Here come the anecdotes.

Sandra Ellis describes treating her daughter for appendicitis in which the appendix actually did appear to have ruptured. She followed Jethro Kloss’s advice and used a lobelia poultice, which was supplemented by Christopher’s formula that added ginger, slippery elm and mullein. She also used comfrey tea and herbal enemas, olive oil and lobelia poultices, chamomile tea, catnip tea, alternating cold and heat packs, and reflexology. Her daughter recovered without an appendectomy, and without any infection. She provides the following formula for a poultice.

Shut up. That’s enough. I don’t need any recipes.

“Mix 1 tbs. of granulated or powdered lobelia with a large handful of granulated or crushed mullein leaves, and sprinkle with ginger. Add water to the herbs and mix into a paste, adding powdered slippery elm.”

Some doctors advise against using any type of laxative and suggest that this may cause a dangerous irritation of the appendix. This may be good advice, but these same doctors fail to suggest releasing pressure through the other end, which would precede the laxative and relieve most of the potential for a “dangerous” irritation.

The enemas…the creationists cannot resist them.

Once you get over an appendix problem, you must learn from the experience. Your eating habits should change and you should work to ensure that you remain regular. If you eat garbage that acts as intestinal glue, you get what you ask for. Most doctors have acquired the opinion that mutilation is the only option in the case of an appendicitis, and that without them death is inevitable. We can thank the stupidity of evolutionists for this harmful misconception.

See what I mean? This crank splutters out a bunch of nonsense about appendix function and phylogeny, then dedicates most of his article to tales of curing appendicitis with enemas and herbs, and then he closes by accusing evolutionists for promoting harmful misconceptions!

It’s good for a laugh, but there is one useful bit of information here. Never turn your back on a creationist.

A truly pointless poll

I don’t even see how one could vote on this incredibly biased and stupid poll. It’s another of these homophobic fundamentalist christianist sites trying to argue that homosexuality is evil, and is a conspiracy to promote an anti-Christian agenda. It contains a collection of questions that are a beautiful example of how not to design a poll. One example:

Should homosexuals be given the same special rights extended to African-Americans and other minorities?

Your choices are “yes”, “no”, and “undecided”. They leave out the reasonable options, “Minorities aren’t given special rights”, “We want all people given equal rights”, or “This site is racist as well as homophobic”. Whatever. All I know is that I have a strong opinion on this matter, and none of the possibilities represent my position.

There’s also a video. Don’t waste your time, unless you’re suffering from low blood pressure or have a too optimistic view of American intelligence.

It would be nice to white out this map

There’s an interesting Gallup poll that compares religious fervor between nations. Here’s a quick summary:

  • Religiosity is correlated with poverty — the poorer you are, the more godly you are. I guess God really does like that poverty thing.

  • The US is not the most religious nation, not by a long shot — we are well below the median. It is, however, an outlier, as the most religious wealthy nation.

  • There is wide regional variation within the US. Mississippi, Alabama, and South Carolina are like poor Middle Eastern or African countries; Vermont, New Hampshire, and Maine are like middle-of-the-road European nations, in terms of their religiosity.

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I suspect there has to be a dangerous cycle imbedded in these relationships. Poverty leads to more religiosity as people reach for desperate hope; and religion does nothing to solve real problems, leading to worsening poverty.

Schinderhannes bartelsi

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Fans of the great Cambrian predator, Anomalocaris, will be pleased to hear that a cousin lived at least until the Devonian, over 100 million years later. That makes this a fairly successful clade of great-appendage arthropods — a group characterized by a pair of very large and often spiky manipulatory/feeding arms located in front of the mouth. Here’s the new fellow, Schinderhannes bartelsi:

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(click for larger image)

Holotype of Schinderhannes bartelsi. (A) Ventral. (B) Interpretative drawing of ventral side. l, left; r, right; A1, great appendage; A2, flaplike appendage; sp, spine; fm, flap margin; te, tergite; ta, trunk appendage. (C) Partly exposed dorsal side, horizontally mirrored. (D) Interpretative drawing of dorsal side. (E) Interpretative drawing of great appendages, combining information from the dorsal and ventral sides. (F) Radiograph. (G) Reconstruction. Scale bar, 10 mm [for (A) to (G)]. (H) Mouth-part. Scale bar, 5 mm.

There are some significant differences between familiar old Anomalocaris and Schinderhannes. Anomalocaris was a monster that grew to about a meter long; this little guy is about a tenth of that, around 4 inches. He also has those interesting “wings” behind his head, which presumably aided in swimming.

Another significant feature of this animal is that it has characters that place it in the Euarthropoda, which makes great appendages paraphyletic and primitively present in euarthropods. Those great appendages have long been a curiousity, and we’ve wondered whether they are a unique innovation that was completely lost in modern arthropods, or whether they evolved into one of the other more familiar cephalic appendages; the authors suggest that this linkage with the euarthropod family tree implies that chelicera (what you may recognize as the big paired ‘fangs’ of spiders) are modified great appendages.

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Cladogram; tree length, 87. Consistency index, 0.5402; retention index, 0.6552. (1) Peytoia-like mouth sclerites, terminal mouth position, lateral lobes, loss of lobopod limbs, and stalked eyes. (2) Great appendages. (3) Sclerotized tergites, head shield, loss of lateral lobes, and biramous trunk appendages. (4) Stalked eyes in front and loss of radial mouth. (5) Post-antennal head appendages biramous and antenna in first head position. (6) Free cephalic carapace, carapace bivalved, and two pairs of antennae. (7) Maxilla I and II. (8) Exopods simple oval flap. (9) Two pre-oral appendages and a multisegmented trunk endopod. (10) Post-antennal head appendages biramous and tail appendages fringed with setae. (11) Long flagellae on great appendage and exopods fringed with filaments. (12) Trunk appendages uniramous and eyes not stalked. (13) No posterior tergites. (14) Tail spines and chelicere/chelifore on first head position. (15) Proboscis. (16) Six post-antennal head appendages.

Kühl G, Briggs DEG, Rust J (2009) A Great-Appendage Arthropod with a Radial Mouth from the Lower Devonian Hunsrück Slate, Germany. Science 323(5915):771-773.

Surprise! O’Reilly is a hypocrite!

Jon Stewart is so good at drawing blood from his targets.

They are as stupid as you think they are…even stupider

I am astonished to discover that the fundamentalist pastor Grant Swank has a new article in which he promotes the long discredited tale of Lady Hope and Darwin’s death-bed conversion. Unreal. It is completely false, and doesn’t even ring true — those of us who are familiar with Darwin’s writings wouldn’t recognize the naive Jesus-praiser of Hope’s account, and yet still this dishonest clown throws the fraudulent story of an evangelical con-artist as if it were true. He does put in a little disclaimer.

There are those who protest the above with extreme vehemence, concluding it is all fabrication and that Darwin made no Christian profession.

Right. We protest with vehemence because the story is idiotic and transparently false, unsupported by any historical evidence and contradicted by all that we do have. We have accounts of Darwin’s death by witnesses…there is no American preacher lady hovering in the wings, no joyful bible readings.