Amok Time for crayfish

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This is quite possibly the most awesome biology photo ever taken. It is two blind-folded crayfish battling each other in clouds of fluorescent green urine. It’s a good thing it’s just a picture, because if it were a video, in 3D, with the Star Trek fight music playing in the background, every science nerd in the world would have to lie down and die in ecstasy. Don’t click on the little arrow below it! I won’t be responsible for the consequences! (Fortunately, I can’t put it into 3D motion, so I won’t be slaughtering my readership here.)

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The premise of this work is a small dilemma in sexual selection theory. The theory predicts that females are generally the choosy, limiting sex, so they should invest less in courtship — they can simply lie back, look alluring, and let the males fight it out over them before picking a winner. Males are expected to invest the most in courtship, because after all, winning gets them the big payoff with little expense, while females get the big expense of egg laying/pregnancy. That boys are traditionally expected to ask girls out on dates, not vice versa, makes a lot of sense in the context of this theory.

A possible contradiction to the theory, though, is the production of female pheromones to invite courtship. Many arthropods in particular — consider moths that produce olfactory signals that males have evolved enormous antennae to detect — use female-initiated signals to initiate courtship behavior in males, as if every day were Sadie Hawkins Day.

One way to resolve the contradiction, though, is to discover that the signal evolved for some other purpose than triggering courtship. Perhaps ancestral female moths were flying about smelling generically mothy, and male moths are simply homing in on something the females can’t help but produce.

Enter the crayfish, Pacifastacus leniusculus. Females in this species initiate courtship with a grand aromatic puff of urine, a kind of crustacean invitation to dance that I am quite glad our species does not emulate. In the photo above, it’s been visualized by injecting the crayfish with a dye, fluorescein, that can be seen against a black background with the proper illumination. The crayfish have been blindfolded so that their behaviors aren’t triggered by visual cues.

And the answer they discovered is that the copious urination is an aggression, not courting, signal. Males spew it out when they’re fighting with other males, females do it at the start of courtship, and males actually reduce the amount of urine produced during courtship. So they’re not saying, “I love you, come get me,” they’re saying “Grrr, fight, fight, fight” when they spray the tank with urine.

What’s the advantage to the ladies here? It’s the incitement. The crayfish live in high population densities, and stirring up a little trouble and getting the males to fight provides an opportunity to select a winner. It may also produce a local population of desirable contenders: a whiff of urine may encourage wimpy males to run away and avoid potential trouble, while the more aggressive males may home in on it.

Berry FC, Breithaupt T (2010) To signal or not to signal? Chemical communication by urine-borne signals mirrors sexual conflict in crayfish. BMC Biology 8:25.

Bad charities

There’s always someone ready to take advantage of another’s misfortune, often while wearing a pious expression on their faces. Here are two bad charities:

Maybe it will loosen them up a bit

Meanwhile, the rest of us will laugh. The Republicans have been indulging in a little hanky-panky.

The Republican chairman, Michael Steele, promised on taking office that he would bring the party to corners of America it had not reached before. It is a fair bet that most Republicans did not expect these corners to include the Voyeur West Hollywood, a bondage and S&M club in Los Angeles.

It emerged today that the Republicans spent almost $2,000 last month on a visit to the club where topless women hang from nets on the ceiling and simulate sex in a glass case.

Apparently, Steele himself was not at the club—his cupidity is reserved for his desire to purchase a private jet. It’s still got to hurt.

Steele inherited a surplus of $22m when he took over chairmanship of the national committee in January last year, but that dropped to $13m, well short of the kind of money needed to fight an election. With the congressional midterm elections due in November, Steele has been appealing for donations.

I think it would be great if the Republicans blew their warchest on strip clubs. I just hope they tipped the women well.

Episode XLIV: Oooh, look! Sniny numbers!

Quick, here’s a distraction!

It’s strange, but over the weekend we’ve had several threads top out over the magical 666 comment mark that I use as a signal to kill threads. There’s the ever-expanding endless thread, of course, but also the Sins of omission thread, which is now being closed, and the These guys are dangerous nuts thread, which bloomed into chaos thanks to the wild and wacky Graeme Bird, who now, temporarily, has his own thread (I anticipate an imminent flameout and permanent eviction).

Is it possible that one thread no longer has the capacity to contain the raging ebullience of Pharyngulistas? You’re worrying me, people!

Yeah, we’ve got insane people prowling the Midwest

The FBI is cracking down on a Christian militia group that has been threatening to assassinate police officers and overthrow the government. There are nuts like this scattered all over the place; they collect guns, dress up in military gear, and play war games in the woods. They have no chance of succeeding in their aims, but are so delusional the believe they are the vanguard of a coming revolution. Why? Because God tells them so. These fanatics are typically deeply immersed in Christian End Times mythology.

Read their statement about their aims. They are “Preparing for the end time battles to keep the testimony of Jesus Christ alive” — by making pipe bombs and planning acts of terrorism.

It’s wonderful that the government is finally treating these kooks as what they are: dangerous, seditious criminals. But one thing you have to recognize is that there are a lot of Americans who think losers like them are simply heroic. If you look at the comments on the Freep article, there are lots of critics — I think it’s a good sign that more and more people are getting vocal in ridiculing the militia hate groups — but there are also lots of crazies. Here’s a sample:

Just once I wish the Michigan Militia would bring out the multiple 50 clibe3r machine guns they own and teach Obama’s Gestapos they phucked with the wrong group of sheep. My weapon gets confiscated only from my cold dead fingers. Would someone please read article two of our US constitution to these looney toon Democrats? before we start the revolution again

Hey Feds–Concentate your investigations on the Politicians of The city of Detroit.You guys start fooling with the Militia,your going to get another Oklahoma City

These raids are likely trying to “stave off” an announcement due Mon, Mar 29, regarding the total dissolution of the U.S. Corporation which has been ignoring the constitution, and reverting our country back to the original REPUBLIC in which it was founded. We become “sovereign citizens” who control our govt, and not vice versa. All 50 states were served papers, plus the military and Supreme Court on Friday. The military is onboard. This means freedom FINALLY for all Americans from the IRS and many other wonderful changes. It appears “the powers that be” and the Rockefellers don’t want to lose their vice grip, thus the raidsprior to Monday’s announcement of the changes. Each person in office must take an oath to the common law and the constitution, or be fired immediately. Many brave citizens behind the scenes have helped in this effort to free us.

More gun-waving psychos, more terrorist threats, and more delusional nonsense. This is what we get for keeping the citizenry stupid and ignorant.

By the way, it is Monday, 29 March. I await the announcement of the dissolution of the US.