I’ve already complained a little bit about the poor availability of network connectivity at my mother’s house. I looked next door at the Bible Chapel and discovered the source of the problem. We’re jinxed.
This story is nice and sad at the same time. At an Anglican church in Canada, a parishioner attended with his dog, went up to take communion and his pet followed him, and after giving the man the magic cookie, the priest placed a communion wafer on the dog’s tongue, too. Hey, he was just waiting there with his tongue hanging out, it was the most natural thing to do. Unfortunately, and entirely predictably, some prissy-pants whiner in the congregation didn’t like it.
Days later, the church and diocese received a complaint from one parishioner, who felt the church offended the sacred ritual. The bread and wine are meant to represent the body and blood of Jesus Christ and are only to be given to those who have been baptized.
It’s a cracker. Come on. I’d rather make one dog happy than please all the dogmatists in the world.
And these speculations as rationalizations annoy me.
“In his email, the man’s argument was that Christ wouldn’t have liked it,” said Needham. “But in my opinion, Christ would have thought it was neat. It was just being human. And it made everyone smile.”
Face it, your god is simply a projection of your own personality and beliefs. He isn’t there. If you like dogs, you’ll imagine that your god likes dogs; if you think noisy smelly animals are a nuisance, your god bars the gates of heaven to them.
Westboro Baptist Church decided that they were going to picket Comic-Con, and Justin Kirchart sent me pictures. He also sent me a photo of the WBC picket — it’s a sad and pathetic 4 people standing and holding the usual “YOU HATE GOD” and “GOD HATES FAGS” signs, and it wasn’t very interesting, so I didn’t bother to upload it.
Here, though, are the forces of Comic-con madness across the street. They’re much more entertaining. Click to zoom in!
Justin liked “Jesus was nailed to a cross. Thor has a hammer.” I kind of liked “ODIN IS GOD. Read Mighty Thor #5”. Thor is always good for a laugh in these sorts of things.
I’m sure it was a moment of epiphany. Person in charge of an MRI takes avantage of an idle moment in the parade of patients to have lunch. Pulls a banana out of a brown paper bag. Looks at banana. Looks at MRI. Looks at banana. Looks at MRI. And the rest is history.
Give it time to load, and if you’ve got a slow connection, you might not want to bother; these are all animated images of 2-D slices scanned through MRIs of fruit and vegetables. The artichoke is my favorite.
Is anyone going to Comic-Con? You’ve probably heard that the Phelps gang will be picketing it (IMPORTANT: you know Phelps is a litigious con-man who baits people so he can sue them, right?), so you may have to pick a god to annoy them. Here’s a list of appropriate comic book gods and goddesses. Praise Thor, piss off Phelps.
Although I would think being an atheist would be even more effective. For that, here’s a list of atheist comic book characters. It’s short, and unfortunately, most of them aren’t very memorable.
There is, apparently, a comic book called The Atheist. I’ve never seen it, but it sounds…interesting.
The storyline revolves around present day humans that are having their bodies being “possessed” by the souls from Hell similar to the possessions in the fifties horror movie “The Invasion of the Body Snatchers”. The souls from Hell then begin an extremely hedonistic and malicious lifestyle that includes raves, drugs, self mutilation, murder, and other violence. The possessed bodies then start congregating in Winnipeg, Canada.
That’s not very atheistic. But, yeah, it sounds exactly like Winnipeg.
It’s just one of those freakish religious practices I cannot comprehend, this strange “anointing” of heads and objects with oil. Why? Does their god just like his targets greased up? It’s especially inappropriate when a teacher regularly rubs magic lubricants onto her students.
A Norfolk teacher has resigned after it was discovered she was rubbing “holy oil” on students and their desks during school, a Norfolk Public Schools spokesperson said.
How stupid. Everyone knows that, in order to be effective, the proper way to bless the students is to decapitate a chicken at the lectern, and then swing it around your head by its feet to splatter the kiddies. At least the ones who aren’t crying afterwards will be very focused on everything you do.
There are two very good reasons.
Because rodents are pee-sniffing preverts. Eww.
Because every post about Republicans or the Vatican is about rodents, so we’ve already got more than enough of that around here. Double eww. Or W.
The Friday Cephalopod will magically appear at some point today. Because they’re beautiful.
This is going to be hilarious: Comic-con is next week in San Diego, and the professional attention whores at Fred Phelps’ Westboro Baptist Church are going to picket it.
The destruction of this nation is imminent — so start calling on Batman and Superman now, see if they can pull you from the mess that you have created with all your silly idolatry.
I don’t know why they’ve chosen Comic-con; maybe it’s because the attendees are mostly able to tell the difference between fantasy and reality, a grave sin to Phelps.
You know what would be really funny? Fred Phelps reading the Sunday funny pages. I can just imagine him fulminating with growing rage as he reads of that hedonistic heathen, Dagwood Bumstead, and he’d probably pop with apoplexy when he encountered that hussy, Mary Worth.
He might like Garfield, though.
I don’t know if I can bear to watch this.
Throughout the trailer, all I could think about was the creature’s gastro-intestinal arrangement. It’s got a mouth at both ends. All the heroes have to do is let it keep eating, and since it can’t excrete, it’ll eventually explode.
(via Deep Sea News)
