Darn, I knew I was missing something

Schools often block access to parts of the internet, which is fine, if only to focus students’ attention a little bit. It is not fine when they discriminate, like Indianapolis public schools, which block on religious views other than the Abrahamic religions. Their rules, though, mention something I did not know.

Sites that promote and provide information on religions such as Wicca, Witchcraft or Satanism. Occult Practices, atheistic views, voodoo rituals or other forms of mysticism, […] the use of spells, incantations, curses, and magic powers. This category includes sites which discuss or deal with paranormal or unexplained events.

Now I know I have this reputation as a big fat atheist, but I have to confess to not knowing something here. Can anyone tell me what the atheist spells, incantations, curses, and magic powers are? Please give me recipes in the comments. They might be handy, but, well, no one ever taught them to me. I blame it on being brought up in a Christian family — they didn’t know anything about atheist rituals or enchantments.

Oh, and if Indianapolis schools ban sites that talk about “paranormal or unexplained events”, why aren’t they blocking all of the Christian sites? Jesus was one paranormal dude with unexplained magic powers, you know.