The divine right of penis

I thought this was pretty funny.

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But then I realized that this was the answer to the whole problem of the political assault on women by Republicans. If they don’t give a damn about women’s rights in the first place, we just have to reframe the whole question: Rick Perry and the whole lot of abortion-hatin’, planned-parenthood-defundin’, make-life-more-difficult-for-women patriarchal party-poopers are interfering with men’s ability to get laid.

Put it in those terms, and I expect the party of plutocrats will turn right around. Nothing may be allowed to get in the way of a man and his sacred penis.

Trigger happy

As a young man, I often walked the streets of Seattle — it’s a great city, and wonderful to explore. But then, I never walked the streets while brown. That experience would be completely different.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? This country is well on the way to becoming a petty tyranny, run by small-minded bullies. There is a crime caught in that video, but the culprit isn’t John T. Williams, native American woodcarver — it’s the abuse of power by Officer Ian Birk.

Women! It’s your job to prepare for your rape!

Kansas representative Pete DeGraaf is fighting for a bill that would exclude abortion coverage in cases of rape. He thinks the state should stay out of that problem, and it should just be something that women “plan ahead for”:

Bollier asked him, “And so women need to plan ahead for issues that they have no control over with pregnancy?”

DeGraaf drew groans of protest from some House members when he responded, “I have a spare tire on my car.”

“I also have life insurance,” he added. “I have a lot of things that I plan ahead for.”

You heard the man, ladies. You should all just get organized and make plans now for the aftermath of your rape. Maybe set up a cookie jar in the kitchen and tuck a dollar bill in it now and then, as your rainy day rape abortion fund. Your supportive boy friends and spouses can cheerfully contribute, too, and if you’re a member of a lesbian couple, you could have a matching pair (for cute!). Get one for your daughters, too, and start them on saving a little bit every year — after all, young girls get raped, too, so you might as well make it a regular feature of their lives.

By the way, the compassionate Pete DeGraaf is also an associate pastor. I am not surprised.

Godless goals are progressive goals

Rebecca Watson is stirring up trouble again. She points out the dire situation for women in this country.

In the first quarter of this year, 49 state legislatures introduced 916 bills that restricted reproductive rights. Here are a few that have passed, like in Texas, where women must have an invasive ultrasound that they either have to look at or have described to them in detail by a doctor before getting their abortion. Or South Dakota, where there’s now a 72-hour waiting period, and women must get counseling at an anti-choice pregnancy crisis center before obtaining an abortion. No centers applied to be on the official list, so that women would have no way to fulfill the requirements to have an abortion.

Yikes. But that’s not the trouble-making, that’s just basic civic responsibility and human decency. Here is the trouble-making.

The Religious Right’s attack on women’s rights is directly analogous to their attack on science in the classroom, so why aren’t non-believers standing up and fighting back? Why aren’t more of the big secular organizations decrying what’s happening?

Some organizations, like Americans United for Separation of Church and State and the American Humanist Association have called out some of the problems, though both could take a page from the British Humanist Association, which regularly and boldly confronts anti-science when it infringes upon women’s reproductive health. BHA’s website even describes in detail its official stance on abortion (pro-choice, of course).

Hmmm. All the big shots in the secular organizations I’ve met seem like rather progressive individuals who would agree entirely with Watson’s position, and I’ve seen some published statements here and there that support such liberal (i.e., rational) causes as women’s rights and gay rights and equality in general, but otherwise, these particular civil rights issues seem more assumed than advocated by the major organizations — they certainly don’t oppose them. I can understand how a non-profit might have to tread carefully on political claims (they can’t come out and damn the Republican party, after all), but Watson has a point.

Maybe there should be more overt activism for civil rights in general, in addition to the more focused attention given to atheist/humanist issues. Freethought movements should be about human dignity and freedom in all domains, not just religion. We should own these issues; we need to be on the right side of history. And on the purely self-interested side, these organizations can also grow their base by embracing greater equality. Let’s be the opposite of Jim Wallis and the Sojourners (who I could never stand, anyway).

Of course, such a move would piss off the libertarian/conservative wing of the atheist movement, but I can’t see a down side to jettisoning them, anyway.

How could you, Minnesota legislature?

I leave the state for a weekend, and what happens? The Rethuglican brats passed a vote to have a referendum to amend the state constitution to ban gay marriage in Minnesota. We’re about to go through a nasty long election cycle in which the sanctimonious assholes who want to dictate how you run your private life will be on the television every night, preaching at me. It is simply appalling that we’re going to have to waste so much time struggling for what ought to be a basic civil right against hordes of whining, petty, hateful, smug suburbanites.

Here’s the bill.

CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT PROPOSED.
An amendment to the Minnesota Constitution is proposed to the people. If the
amendment is adopted, a section shall be added to article XIII, to read:
Sec. 13. Only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a
marriage in Minnesota.

So few words, so much contempt for so many human beings.

Thank the fine bigots at the Minnesota Patriarchy Council and the Catholic Church for pushing this one through and guaranteeing that nothing of substance will be accomplished in the legislature in the next year and a half. Maybe, at least, the state media will be happy to be flush with all that Mormon money that will be incoming.

In case my fellow Minnesotans want to know who the enemy is, here’s a list of the votes. It’s almost perfectly split on party lines, with all Democrats but two voting against it, and all Rethuglicans but four voting for it. Yes, my local Republican representative voted to oppress minorities; all I can say is that he sure didn’t get my vote in the last election, and never will.

And her name is MYERS.

It’s even spelled correctly. Amy Myers, high school student, has challenged Michele Bachmann “to a Public Forum Debate and/or Fact Test on The Constitution of the United States, United States History and United States Civics”.

There’s no way Bachmann will take the challenge, unfortunately. There’s no upside to being publicly shown to be less well informed than a high school sophomore.

There goes the Florida tourism industry

The Florida legislature has just banned sex.

An act relating to sexual activities involving animals; creating s. 828.126, F.S.; providing definitions; prohibiting knowing sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal; prohibiting specified related activities; providing penalties; providing that the act does not apply to certain husbandry, conformation judging, and veterinary practices; providing an effective date.

At least there are a few loopholes. “It’s alright, officer, she’s judging my conformation and I’m studying for the NAVLE!”

Also, Disneyworld won’t care. They suck the sex right out of everything, anyway.

Barbarous Africa

Not the whole continent, of course, or even a majority of its residents, but there are a few hate-mongering, ignorant bigots in Uganda that need a wake-up call. They’re trying to expand the death-penalty provisions in their already draconian anti-homosexual policies.

Sign this petition. It’s not much, but at least it will send a message that the rest of the world looks on their brutal homophobia with contempt and disgust.

And yes, I know that American evangelicals have been responsible for fanning the flames of hatred in Uganda. Do you doubt that I look on them with any less contempt?

Florida State University sells its integrity for $1.5 million

That’s a bargain price for throwing a reputation down the drain. FSU has turned over some hiring decisions to a billionaire ideologue.

A conservative billionaire who opposes government meddling in business has bought a rare commodity: the right to interfere in faculty hiring at a publicly funded university.

A foundation bankrolled by Libertarian businessman Charles G. Koch has pledged $1.5 million for positions in Florida State University’s economics department. In return, his representatives get to screen and sign off on any hires for a new program promoting “political economy and free enterprise.”

Traditionally, university donors have little official input into choosing the person who fills a chair they’ve funded. The power of university faculty and officials to choose professors without outside interference is considered a hallmark of academic freedom.

Under the agreement with the Charles G. Koch Charitable Foundation, however, faculty only retain the illusion of control. The contract specifies that an advisory committee appointed by Koch decides which candidates should be considered. The foundation can also withdraw its funding if it’s not happy with the faculty’s choice or if the hires don’t meet “objectives” set by Koch during annual evaluations.

This deal has been in place for a couple of years, and Koch has already meddled in at least one hiring decision, rejecting 60% of the candidates that the faculty favored. If I were a faculty member who found my choice of colleagues dictated by Koch (or Soros, or Gates, or any similar filthy rich dilettante), I’d be a bit peevish, and I don’t think the golden candidate would get much respect from his peers. On the other hand, if I were applying for a job and was rejected because I didn’t fit the ideology of the Koch brothers, I’d feel darned good and also be well satisfied that I wasn’t going to be affiliated with such a cheap brothel university.

On the third hand, if I were a graduate of the econ department of FSU, I’d be extremely embarrassed about my degree at this point.

David Rasmussen, the dean of the college of social sciences, is trying to defend the deal by saying they needed the money, an argument with which I can sympathize, since every university is struggling right now. But selling your principles of academic freedom undercuts your ability to support independent thought, and means you aren’t really a university anymore. You’re a corporate propaganda arm. Other universities, more respectable universities, have a clear understanding of that idea.

Most universities, including the University of Florida, have policies that strictly limit donors’ influence over the use of their gifts. Yale University once returned $20 million when the donor demanded veto power over appointments, saying such control was “unheard of.”

Say, Michael Ruse is at Florida State — will he condemn this policy, or will he make the same weasely excuses for it that he does for creationism?