Face it, guys: we all wish we had a penis with the versatility and length and flexibility of the barnacle’s.

If you’d like to see two metazoans at once, there’s another photo of Carl Buell and crow in this series.

Reader Lindsay sent along this pair of photos of a moose taking a stroll along a dirt road near Elliot Lake, near Sault Ste. Marie in Michigan ‘s Upper Peninsula.

That’s not a footpath, by the way. It’s a single lane dirt road for cars, just to give some sense of how big this beast is.

Join me in feeling some taxonomic loyalty to our class in defiance of our ancient enemy, those feathered reptiles, the birds. The BBC has footage of eagles hunting and killing young reindeer — they swoop down and stab their talons into their lungs, and then wait for them to die. Ouch. Poor Bambi Rudolph.^*

I will also note that this is yet another shot in the great War on Christmas. They’re killing Santa’s livestock! I suspect the Christian toy-god also has to fret over bird strikes in flight.

^*Apologies. My prior secular metaphor was in error, and I have replaced it with the name of a true Christian saint who, now having been tortured and killed, may now be worshipped. Rudolph died for your sins in this video.

Lying in the wheelbarrow is the body of Dorothy, a chimpanzee who died suddenly of natural causes; the people in the scene are preparing to bury her. Behind the fence is a quiet gathering of her friends.

It makes me wish I could have a conversation with a chimpanzee. I wonder what they are thinking, and how close their feelings would be to those of a human family…