I’ve got this

Classes over! All grading to date completed! Freedom is in sight!

OK, I have to compose two final exams by Monday, and grade them next weekend. This won’t be too intimidating, though — my plan is to make the final machine-gradeable, mostly multiple choice and math problems, so with a little preparation I can just log in next Saturday, see all the scores waiting for me, and then I plug them into a spreadsheet that spits out letter grades.

So, next weekend…margaritas and tacos and lounging about, playing with spiders and data. Until then, one last push.

Now I’m feeling old

My wife was tidying up old papers, and found this letter. My daughter had written it to her grandparents to thank them for some Christmas presents (and also to share the family excitement, that her older brother had gotten a ball python). Grandma had put the date on it, and we got it back after they died.

Written when my daughter was about the same age as my granddaughter is now, 26 years ago. Jebus, but time flies by, and leaves me all old and sentimental. I may need to mope for a bit.

The students do know how to have fun

To celebrate the end of classes, we have two big events this weekend at UMM.

First up, park your butt in an auditorium (haven’t they had enough of that?), and watch a Marvel Movie Marathon. I’m not sufficiently interested in the Marvel universe to do that, but sure, soak in it for the weekend.

And then, top off Saturday night with the Yule Ball. This is a photo of a decorative pile of tchotchkes that were on a table. I like the sentiment on the button.

Party hard, young’uns! For the professoriate will deliver unto you a week of pain immediately afterwards!

There is no pain, you are receding

The last week of classes is winding down.

+ I’m all caught up on grading!

– I gave a few students permission to turn in late assignments, due today, so I’m not all caught up.

– I’m giving a lab final in cell biology this morning. so I’m not all caught up.

– I’m giving a unit exam to my intro students tomorrow, so I’m not all caught up.

– I’m giving two final exams next week, so I’m not all caught up.

It’s like you can make a few strokes towards shore, but the current is unending and fierce, and I’m already worn out. Grades are due on 21 December, so that’s my goal, I just have to keep paddling and hope I don’t drown before I get there.

Hey! Maybe there’s a beautiful mermaid waiting for me at the bottom, with a golden pirate’s treasure, so drowning won’t be so bad.

My fate?

Hasta la vista, European Twitter

Light up another one, Elon

The other day, we were concerned that Twitter would lose its Apple app, with a devastating loss to its revenue. What about losing Europe?

The European Union has reportedly threatened to ban Twitter unless Elon Musk abides by its strict content moderation rules.

The warning, which has been reported by The Financial Times, could be the start of a regulatory battle over the future of the social media platform across Europe.

EU industry chief Thierry Breton made the threat during a video meeting with Musk on Wednesday, the news outlet said, citing people with knowledge of the conversation.

Breton told the world’s richest man he must adhere to a checklist of rules which are set out in the EU’s new Digital Services Act.

According to the report, these include a requirement to ditch an “arbitrary” approach to reinstating banned users and to agree to an “extensive independent audit” of the platform by next year.

The landmark law aims to set the global standard for how tech giants must police content on the internet.

In a readout of the conversation provided by Breton, he told Musk: “There is still huge work ahead, as Twitter will have to implement transparent user policies, significantly reinforce content moderation and protect freedom of speech, tackle disinformation with resolve, and limit targeted advertising.”

The impressive incompetence of the “world’s richest man” continues to be staggeringly entertaining. I look forward to the incoherent tantrum that will be incoming.

Not a headline I like to see

Thanks, Washington Post. And first thing in the morning, too! What a thing for an old geezer to wake up to.

Great. My demographic. Although, while I am over 65, I’m not sick or poor, so I can take some solace in that…except that I don’t think being old, sick, or poor should mean you get neglected by society, and I don’t think any of us should be categorized as an acceptable loss.

More than 300 people are still dying each day on average from covid-19, most of them 65 or older, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. While that’s much lower than the 2,000 daily toll at the peak of the delta wave, it is still roughly two to three times the rate at which people die of the flu — renewing debate about what is an “acceptable loss.”

And while older Americans have consistently been the worst hit during the crisis, as evident in the scores of early nursing home deaths, that trend has become more pronounced. Today, nearly 9 in 10 covid deaths are in people 65 or older — the highest rate ever, according to a Washington Post analysis of CDC data.

If this disease does get me, I’m going to raise a bony finger to point at all the heedless younger people who don’t believe in masking, or any other basic preventative measures. And I’m especially planning to claw my way out of the grave to knock on the doors of all those people who think that saying “it’s just a flu” is an excuse for ongoing contempt for core concepts in epidemiology. Or anyone who claims the pandemic is over.

ElonGOAT: Oh the cringe…the cringe.

The cringiest. Some group of Musk cultists created a cryptocurrency called ElonGOAT, and decided to promote it in the goofiest way they could think of: by building a monument to Elon Musk.

Elon GOAT Token has really stepped outside the box and did something no other Crypto project has dared to do. We built Elon Musk a $600,000 monument on the back of a semi trailer in honor of his many accomplishments and commitment to Cryptocurrency! Since completion, $EGT has toured several states in the US and has now decided to deliver this gift to Elon at Tesla’s Giga factory in Austin!

We believe that Elon’s potential acceptance of this biblical sized gift could catapult $EGT into the limelight and accelerate its various initiatives.

$EGT’s future is bright with our ambitious plans to launch EGT PRO’s merchant processing solutions in early 2023. We also believe with proper execution the subsequent run at multiple centralized exchange listings will take us to the top!

Right. So they’ve invented some fake money, and they think the way to get people to invest in it is to spend $600,000 on an ugly-ass statue to get Elon Musk’s blessing. They’re also selling 5,000 NFTs…oops, I just stole one.

They also invented an ‘event’, driving this statue to the Tesla factory to convince Musk to tweet about them, which would somehow vastly increase the value of their precious imaginary coin. They’re urging everyone to buy buy buy now, before the anticipated Elon Tweet sends the price skyrocketing to the moon. That’s it. That’s the entire foundation for its value, getting a nod of acknowledgement from the petty god they worship. They’re chattering away about it online. They’re begging Elon Musk to come out and appreciate their work on Twitter.

$EGT TESLA SECURITY PERSONALLY CALLED ASHLEY AND GAVE HIM INSTRUCTIONS ON WHERE TO PARK!!!! ❤️❤️❤️🐂🐂🐂🐂🐂

That was from 15 hours ago, and was the last comment from the people dragging this statue to Austin. Maybe we can take a peek at how well their scheme is working.

Oops. The line go down. They lost 60% of their value the day they delivered their monstrosity.

Part of the problem might be that, goddamn, this is the ugliest statue I’ve ever seen. Maybe they’ve finally found a way to embarrass Elon Musk.

I mean, look at that thing! It’s Elon Musk’s head grafted onto the body of a goat, riding a rocket. It’s hideous. What drugs were they taking when they came up with that thing? I need to know so I never ever take them myself.

It’s a pile of aluminum scrap. Musk is going to pretend it doesn’t exist because taking ownership would mean he’d have to get it melted down, another expense added to his long list of woes. Although, I do have to admit that an ugly wasteful lump of metal built to celebrate stupidity and delusions might be the most appropriate monument for Elon Musk.