Royalty is ridiculous

Creepy ol’ Prince Andrew, Epstein’s pal, is reportedly being evicted from Buckingham Palace. He’s been an embarrassment to the family — and embarrassing that family is an amazing accomplishment — especially since he settled out of court with Virginia Giuffre, who’d accused him of sexually assaulting her multiple times. It’s an unsavory, ugly story that so far has resulted in the death of Epstein in prison, the sentencing of Ghislaine Maxwell to 20 years for sex trafficking, and Andrew reduced to a shameful laughingstock.

But the ugly absurdity isn’t ending yet. Andrew wants to overturn that settlement, and is apparently doing some maneuvering to get it tossed out. Some of Maxwell’s friends have provided “evidence”, they claim, that proves the unsavory stories of Andrew assaulting Giuffre in a bathtub can’t possibly be true.

If the tub doesn’t fit, you must acquit.

Yeesh. That’s a rather roomy bathtub, so I don’t see what it demonstrates, other than that these people are idiots. So on top of his “I don’t sweat” defense, he’s adding “I don’t fit in a large bathtub”?

Oh well, it was printed in Britain’s Best Quality Newspaper, so it must be true.


  1. benedic says

    I think you will find that the « quality » newspaper mentioned
    is rather a comic for pre apoplectic antediluvians owned by a billionaire from the Channel Islands.

  2. gijoel says

    He’s got Buckley’s. I’m sure Ms Giuffire’s lawyers put in a lot of clauses against him trying to over turn the settlement. Secondly, if he does get it overturned she can turn around and sue him again. Not having his dirty laundry exposed in a civil case was the whole reason he settled in the first place.

    Apparently she about ready to publish a tell all book. I hope she sticks it to him. Though I’m sure the tabloids response will be to publish another story about how mean Megan is and how ungrateful the Spare is to his loving family.

  3. Le Chifforobe says

    I hate myself a bit for reading the text in the photo, but that is clearly NOT a “Victorian-style bathtub in the middle of the room”.

  4. wzrd1 says

    How can you resort to the Telegraph when the Daily Fail is available?

    Seriously though, nary a subject objected whenever I exclaimed, “God save the Queen – from her get”.

  5. Artor says

    I don’t know how British law works, but if he overturns the settlement, doesn’t that mean that the court case against him is live again?

  6. nomaduk says

    I’ve never been able to understand how Victoria Coren Mitchell, who seems to be a perfectly lovely person, and who has hosted teri of my favourite shows ever (Only Connect and Balderdash and Piffle) can stand to have her column in the Torygraph, other than that it must pay well. If there’s another reason, I really don’t want to hear about it.

  7. kayden says

    If getting kicked out of Buckingham Palace is his only punishment, he has gotten off extremely easy.

  8. cartomancer says

    One thing and one thing only surprises me about this. How on earth did anyone involved think that they would come out looking good in the eyes of the public? I thought rich arseholes had PR people to warn them about this kind of thing?

    Royals being unrepentant paedophiles? Yawn – of course some people raised in a position of undeserved privilege will indulge in all the unsavoury and horrific things they like. The whole institution has always been immoral, corrupt and unnecessary. Ancient civilisations in need of a myth-historical justification for their hatred of monarchies invariably tended to resort to the impunity of monarchs and their children when it came to rape and sexual abuse. The most famous is the Roman Rape of Lucretia story, but Athens’s tale of the Tyrannicides and others also exist.

    A right-wing newspaper trying to salvage the reputation of a royal criminal? Double yawn – these people are paid to shore up the status quo and indoctrinate readers into supporting the establishment, however corrupt. Of course they support the morally indefensible – it’s their job to support the morally indefensible. Shame is a disqualifying feature when they hire these people.

    But… staging a photograph like this and printing it on the front page of a newspaper? All that does is draw everyone’s attention back to Andrew’s rapist past (I won’t say “alleged” rapist past – it’s bloody obvious he’s guilty as sin). It also adds a new, prurient and previously unknown detail to the mix that will appal the public. It makes Maxwell’s “friends” seem callous, manipulative and idiotic in their actions. And even if you do happen to be so naive or deficient in reasoning capacity as to credit the line of thinking proffered in the suggestion – that the credibility of the whole case hinges on whether it is possible for one person to rape another in a bathtub (and it has been pointed out, above, that the one in the photo isn’t even the actual tub in question) – it is entirely believable that there is enough room for one person to rape another in that bath. It doesn’t work on ANY level.

    Which makes me serious begin to wonder whether this stunt was designed to achieve the precise opposite. If I were tasked with finding a way to keep Andrew Windsor’s awful crimes in the public eye and blackening his name further, I’m not sure I could have done better.

  9. UnknownEric the Apostate says

    To be fair, the quality of British newspapers is so low that I could start a daily Farting News paper and it would be Britain’s Best Quality Newspaper.

  10. astringer says

    [trigger warning: blatant sausage innuendo at link]

    “That’s not a thing, is it?”
    No, that’s a Cumberland

    Oh how I wish I’d kept my original Spitting Image Book 2; web editions had a cover up…