Bye-bye Bachmann

And Minnesota smiles in relief (we’re very reserved, so no loud cheers). Michele Bachmann will not be running for office again. You should watch her “I am not a crook!” video.

She tries to claim that the decision is solely because she has a principled belief in term limits. It’s not because she only squeaked by in the last election, oh no: she could beat any candidate, she claims. It’s not because her slackness with campaign funds has her under an ethics investigation. Then she rambles on with far right wing talking points — we have to stop oppressing the banks with crippling regulation, we have to hunt down the Muslim jihadists, yay Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher, etc. She closes by promising to be willing to jump in and serve the country (please, right wing think tanks, hire me!) and deploring the fact that she’s sure the liberal media will distort her motivations.

And of course the final bit is glurge for god.

You should know that Bachmann is the biggest liar in congress. Use that fact in assessing her statements.

Also, keep in mind that her chances of winning any political office are now dead. Her secret to success was to run in the wackiest, most conservative, most ridiculously gerrymandered district in the state — she’s not electable any place else, and she’s just announced that she’s abandoning her electorate. Goodbye and good riddance!

Oh, how interesting. Bachmann claims she’s leaving the race because she believes in term limits, but it’s not true: she’s said the opposite before. Even when she’s leaving, she can’t help but throw out one more big lie.

Let’s do crimes!

Late last night, as we were driving back from the airport, we ran into a curious meteorological phenomenon: we entered a dense cloud of thick, chunky material that clunked into our car like a hailstorm and reduced visibility quite a bit. Only I guess it wasn’t meteorological, strictly speaking — it was the May insect hatch. Say, do you think you can read our license plate now?

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I’m thinking that with our identity obscured this would be a perfect time to go on a crime spree.

I’ll put a closeup below the fold.

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I get email, gay marriage edition

The great news: Governor Dayton signed the same-sex marriage bill into law this afternoon. You may now cheer wildly.

The silly it-is-to-laugh news: the religious right is indignant. I got this email this afternoon:

I have been reading your blog entries regarding The Minnesota Legislature’s legalizing of gay marriage. In these entries, you seem to put the blame for the hold up on the passing of this legislation on Christians and organized religion, who oppose gay marriage as a tenet of their faith. That is fine on your part and does not bother me one iota. What I would like to do is to send you 77 NON-RELIGIOUS Reasons to Support Man/Woman Marriage. If you are open minded enough and don’t mind sending me your “snail mail” address, I will send you a copy of this pamphlet for your information. Thank you for your cooperation.

Sincerely Yours,

David W. Zeile

I told him to go ahead, but I took a wild guess at what these ‘reasons’ would be — I predict lots of repetition of the same few arguments with a few words twisted around, and much circling around the purpose of marriage being procreation and children needing a mommy and a daddy and how it’s so unfair for the law to force people to tolerate wicked gays. I figured I’d have fun ripping into it.

But I don’t have to! I searched on the title of the pamphlet and found that the Rational Wiki has already done the job, and done it well. Also, the content is exactly what I predicted.

Entirely on logical and rational reasons, the anti-gay bigots lose.

It’s inevitable now

The Minnesota Senate has approved gay marriage. It now goes to Governor Dayton, who has already said he’ll sign it, and then we’re at last edging our way into the 21st century.

Not everyone is happy about it.

"In my heart, I grieve on both sides. Because I know what it’s like to be alone and I know what it is like to have somebody close to you and love you. But I grieve inside because I feel we are opening the doors to Sodom and Gomorra. And in the end, God is going to be the judge," said Nelson, of Blaine, tears running down her cheeks.

I would bottle your tears and perhaps dot a little on my wrists every morning — Eau de Schadenfreude. Or perhaps I would drink them like a rich bitter wine, and laugh. Those aren’t tears of sorrow, but of nasty cruel bigotry — you didn’t get your way, you weren’t allowed to demean other citizens of this state in the way you wanted, and now you get to weep in frustration, while I have no sympathy.

And to compare the happy men and women who can now aspire to share equally in love and marriage with evil, wicked horrible people from your book of lies, to tell yourself they are damned and will be destroyed…well, I’ll dance an especially happy spiteful dance on your broken dreams of oppression, lady.

The twisted logic of the anti-gay marriage movement

The Minnesota senate will be debating our gay marriage bill this afternoon; if it passes there, we have a done deal, because our governor Dayton has promised to sign it into law as soon as it hits his desk. This has thrown the Christians into this state in a frenzy (and make no mistake, the opposition is zealously Christian — every argument calls on their god to justify their hatred), and we’re getting email and mailed flyers and phone calls at home all the time. They don’t seem to have very good organization, either. You think they’d learn from the contemptuous sneer and slammed phones they get from me that they should write me off as a lost cause.

But their arguments are just getting weirder and more desperate. Take this from @MnForMarriage:

Yesterday, millions of Minnesotans celebrated the Lord’s day. Today, should the gay “marriage” bill pass, those who believe in the Lord’s design for marriage will become “bigots” under our laws.

Yep, that’s their major argument right now. It’s OK to discriminate against gay people, but suggesting that people who want to deny others their civil rights are “bigots” is unfair and oppressive!

Don’t worry, @MnForMarriage, you’re already bigots, so the law will change nothing in that regard. It’ll just mean you don’t get to practice your bigotry against gay people under the cover of law. But I’m sure you’ll still be the same nasty, hateful, mean-spirited, narrow-minded jebus-shaggers you’ve always been.

Today is the day

Today, the Minnesota legislature is supposed to vote on gay marriage. I know because the pressure has been at fever pitch — I got three phone calls yesterday from advocacy organizations calling to get me to call my representative. I’ve told NOM to take a flying leap, but Minnesotans United, despite the annoying dunning, have my favor.

Apparently, my representative, Jay McNamar, is one of those dumbass undecideds. He’s been waffling over the issue, an uncertainty which doesn’t just leave me cold, it makes me actively dislike him. I’ve called him several times to tell him that this is the civil rights issue of our era, and if he can’t make up his goddamn mind about something as basic as human decency, he’s not on my side. If he votes against it, he’ll never have my vote ever again; if he can muster a little integrity and principle, maybe I’ll reluctantly put a mark next to his name on a ballot next time around.

But the word is that we’ll know today. Don’t disappoint me, Minnesota!

Don’t go outside!

I made the mistake of leaving my snug warm house. It’s windy out there! The temperatures are right there on that edge where one minute it’s snowing, the next it’s sleeting, the next it’s raining, and then back ’round again! It’s cold, damp, and piercing; I prefer a calm dry -20°F to this soggy frigidity.

I’m staying indoors the rest of the day. Slippers on. Snuggly blanket close at hand. Not looking out the window ever.