Don’t send the kiddies to Sunday School, just have them watch this video and they’ll master the whole of the Bible (Old and New Testaments!) in 2½ minutes.
(via SMBC, of course)
Well? Don’t just sit there! You have to go give meaning to Jesus’ sacrifice!
Here’s the man on the Conan show. Fabulous!
He’s really going to be upset at the wild rumor-mongering about the affair with a Palestinian teenager named Mary.
Science finally enters the 21st century with ZOMGSCIENCE.NET. Got a short attention span? Are you conditioned by blipverts to need your information jazzed up loud with big bold all-caps headlines and profanity? Is this article too long and subdued for you? Then you should read ZOMGSCIENCE.
A few people have noted in the comments that Conservapædia’s hot new front page topic is “Atheism and Obesity” — we’re all supposed to be humongous wobbling lardasses, as if that is some kind of rational argument against an intellectual position (“you’re fat!” kind of shot its bolt in grade school, and really doesn’t weigh heavily in a debate beyond that). The poster boy for stupid atheist fatsos, unfortunately, is me.
Poor, poor pitiful me. I’m crying tears of self-pity right now.
Rebecca Watson has a reply to that nonsense, and she noticed that I’ve lost a few pounds lately (so…Rebecca was checking me out, hmmmm?), so comes to the only logical conservapædian conclusion: I must be converting to Christianity. I’m so surprised!
I think that’s a great rallying cry for atheism: We have cookies & booze & lesbians! I’m afraid it won’t entice me back into the fold, however: cookies aren’t on my diet at all, I’m limiting myself to at most one beer a night, and why would lesbians, sweet as they are, have any special appeal to me? I’m only into heterosexual women (actually, woman) for obvious reasons.
So sorry. I guess I’m going to have to continue my backsliding. If ever I show up at a talk skinny and raillike, you’ll know I’ve become a fundamentalist. And if I gain any more weight, why, I must have become a lesbian.
A few people have noted in the comments that Conservapædia’s hot new front page topic is “Atheism and Obesity” — we’re all supposed to be humongous wobbling lardasses, as if that is some kind of rational argument against an intellectual position (“you’re fat!” kind of shot its bolt in grade school, and really doesn’t weigh heavily in a debate beyond that). The poster boy for stupid atheist fatsos, unfortunately, is me.
Poor, poor pitiful me. I’m crying tears of self-pity right now.
Rebecca Watson has a reply to that nonsense, and she noticed that I’ve lost a few pounds lately (so…Rebecca was checking me out, hmmmm?), so comes to the only logical conservapædian conclusion: I must be converting to Christianity. I’m so surprised!
I think that’s a great rallying cry for atheism: We have cookies & booze & lesbians! I’m afraid it won’t entice me back into the fold, however: cookies aren’t on my diet at all, I’m limiting myself to at most one beer a night, and why would lesbians, sweet as they are, have any special appeal to me? I’m only into heterosexual women (actually, woman) for obvious reasons.
So sorry. I guess I’m going to have to continue my backsliding. If ever I show up at a talk skinny and raillike, you’ll know I’ve become a fundamentalist. And if I gain any more weight, why, I must have become a lesbian.
Don’t ask me why, I just found this little story hilarious, and I didn’t want to wait until Christmas eve 2011 to post it.
While we’re throwing around Christmas hilarity, this story is so ironic it made me giggle: The Next Person Who Says Happy Holidays Shall Be Punched In The Throat. It’s not a humor piece, it’s from an angry Christian who has simply taken the irrational obsession with Christmas being Christian to the unsurprising conclusion that saying something nice that does not promote his sectarian faith warrants physical abuse. Merry Christmas, crazy Christian…and I say it not because I’m afraid of being punched, but because I’m happily stealing the holiday back for the heathens.
The cartoonists are having fun with it. Jesus won’t be bringing them any presents tonight!
