In June, the White House will host a UFC fighting event. They’ve already torn out the White House lawn, are building a giant fighting cage to hold all the lights and cameras, and will be placing the Octagon in the center.
It’s historic, don’t you know. Bulbous sweaty men kicking each other in the face is considered a dignified way to celebrate the 250th anniversary of the United States…and it’s not political, it just happens to be held on the president’s 80th birthday.
The president promises us it won’t cost the American taxpayer a thing (I’ve heard that somewhere before). It’s all paid for by special ticket prices — this is not a public event — and sponsorships from Paramount and a crypto company. I’ve never watched UFC, is it all scripted kayfabe bullshit? If so, that would be perfect.
Canadians, Europeans, everyone living in the civilized world outside our borders: are you laughing at us? Because I feel like hiding in shame for some reason.













