Needs more spiders


A reader sent me a comment about how Catholics tell stories that they claim are in the Bible that aren’t, and that specifically they don’t include spiders. I had to double check. Here are all the Bible verses that mention spiders.

Pathetic. For one, they’re about spider webs, not spiders, and the second one is about lizards. Do they think lizards and spiders are the same thing? They’re so desperate to pad their list of spider facts from the Bible that they include reptiles.

Speaking of padding, here’s my correspondent’s tale of Catholic fable-making.

I made a comment on Bluesky that it wasn’t until I was studying the Bible in Religion class at a Catholic High School that I realized how many of the stories I was told by nuns in grade school weren’t actually in the Bible. I gave, as an example, the story of how Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, in their flight to Egypt to escape Herod Antipas’ attempt to kill all potential Kings of the Jews, they hid in a cave from pursuing soldiers. After they entered the cave, spiders spun webs across the entrance to the cave causing the soldiers to believe that the Holy Family couldn’t have possibly entered the cave.

A commenter wondered if the story I related was inspired by a similar one about David fleeing from King Saul for the exact same reason. Unlike the story about the Holy Family, the tale of David hiding in a cave, minus the spiders, is actually in the Bible.

I interpret this to mean Christians realize that there is a serious lack of spider relevance in their holy book, and they are crying out for more.

Comments

  1. Reginald Selkirk says

    …and the second one is about lizards. (Proverbs 30:28)

    That depends on your selection of Bible versions. In the King Kames Version it is:

    [28] The spider taketh hold with her hands, and is in kings’ palaces.

    Have fun explaining how either lizards or spiders have ‘hands.’

  2. Reginald Selkirk says

    The Christmas Spider: A Story of Faith

    I first heard the story of the Christmas Spider as a child at a Christmas Eve mass, and it has since become one of my favorite Christmas stories. It’s about a baby spider who saves the life of Baby Jesus during his family’s flight to Egypt, not long after his birth…

    And that spider’s name was Charlotte.

    Wait, I might be getting my religious stories mixed up.

  3. John Watts says

    It was the Council of Nicaea of 325 that excluded most references to spiders in the Bible. It was known as the Arachnid Anathema.

  4. raven says

    It is worse than that.

    The bible also doesn’t mention cats.
    Despite the fact that cats had been domesticated in the Middle East for thousands of years already.
    One of the major centers of cats was in Egypt, the major power of the day right next door to Israel.

    They had to know about cats.
    They may have even had cats.

    The bible was written by the Ken Hams and Pat Robertsons of their day. It has only a vague resemblance to what those societies and that era of history was like.

  5. Reginald Selkirk says

    @7 raven

    Letter of Jeremiah

    [21] Upon their bodies and heads sit bats, swallows, and birds, and the cats also.

    Also, 176 mentions of ‘lion’, 9 ,mentions of ‘leopard’, and one mention of ‘hyena’.

  6. Jake Wildstrom says

    I took a quick look at a concordance (Strong’s; not the best but easily accessed) to see what’s up terminology-wise.

    Job 8 and Isaiah both use עככביש (akkabis), which is pretty unambiguously “spider”. Those are the only two uses of that word in the Hebrew-language Bible text.
    Job 27 uses עש (as), which almost certainly means “moth”, and several translations use that term. It’s likely that “spider” is a nonliteral choice meant for clarity, as spiders are better known as builders than moths among the intended audience.
    Proverbs uses שממיﬨ (s’mamit), a peculiar term whose translation is a bit vague. The root is שמם (s’mam), a verb with a wide range of meanings from “horrify” to “destroy”, and the stem would make the term used in Proverbs into something which etymologically would be “horrifier” or “destroyer”. It’s often translated as being a poisonous or somehow horrifying creature, but exactly which one isn’t absolutely clear form a casual search.

  7. birgerjohansson says

    The Ungoliant has traits both spidery and scorpion-y (her offspring Shelob had a sting at the rear).
    This may not be the babble, but Tolkien was Christian so it should count. Especially as the LOTR trilogy is logically consistent which is never the case with Garbage Book #1 (# 2 is the koran # 3 is the hindu & buddhist stuff).

  8. says

    Muslims have a similar tradition. When Muhammad was travelling from Mecca to Medina to flee his persecutors, he and his companion, Abu Bakr hid in a cave on Mount Thawr until the search died down. To fool his pursuers the tradition says that God sent a pair of birds to build a nest and lay eggs near the entrance and a spider to spin a web across the entrance.

  9. raven says

    @8 Reginald Selkirk
    The Letter of Jeremiah isn’t in all bibles.

    Wikipedia:

    The Letter of Jeremiah, also known as the Epistle of Jeremiah, is a deuterocanonical book of the Old Testament; this letter is attributed to Jeremiah[1] and addressed to the Jews who were about to be carried away as captives to Babylon by Nebuchadnezzar. It is included in Catholic Church bibles as the final chapter of the Book of Baruch (Baruch 6). It is also included in Orthodox bibles as a separate book, as well as in the Apocrypha of the King James Version.
    and
    Wikipedia: Cat — Domestic cats are not mentioned in the Protestant Bible, but they are mentioned in Letter of Jeremiah verse 21.

    The eternal unchanging word of god is constantly being edited and revised.

    The Book of Baruch was removed by the Protestants when they revised the bible.

  10. Pierce R. Butler says

    The purported Catholics of this anecdote are just carrying on the Jewish tradition of midrash, embroidering on mythological storylines (similar to Muslim hadith, bogus sayings attributed to Mohamed).

    Some “Jesus mythicists” consider the core New Testament a collection of midrash; most non-fundamentalist “Jesus historicists” readily concede much of said scripture consists of elaborations and additions to whatever actually happened – so the alleged fabulators have ample and respected precedents.

    The spiders themselves, last I heard, don’t care.

  11. John Morales says

    I don’t associate webs with fragility.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider_silk

    Each spider and each type of silk has a set of mechanical properties optimised for their biological function.

    Most silks, in particular dragline silk, have exceptional mechanical properties. They exhibit a unique combination of high tensile strength and extensibility (ductility). This enables a silk fibre to absorb a large amount of energy before breaking (toughness, the area under a stress-strain curve).

    Strength and toughness are distinct quantities. Weight for weight, silk is stronger than steel, but not as strong as Kevlar. Spider silk is, however, tougher than both.

  12. Silentbob says

    @ ^

    Wow, thanks for your original contribution. It’s almost like you’re quoting something.

    Each spider and each type of silk has a set of mechanical properties optimised for their biological function.

    Most silks, in particular dragline silk, have exceptional mechanical properties. They exhibit a unique combination of high tensile strength and extensibility (ductility). This enables a silk fibre to absorb a large amount of energy before breaking (toughness, the area under a stress-strain curve).
    An illustration of the differences between toughness, stiffness and strength

    Strength and toughness are distinct quantities. Weight for weight, silk is stronger than steel, but not as strong as Kevlar. Spider silk is, however, tougher than both

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider_silk#Mechanical

    But, I’m sure you would have used tags to indicate so, instead of being a lazy shit.

  13. Silentbob says

    John Harshman # 1 alludes to the legend, well known among my people, that a spider was responsible for the casting out of Scotland of the English invader:

    Legend has it that while he was hiding out in a cave, Bruce took to watching a spider that was struggling to build a web. Whenever the little spider appeared to make progress, it would fall, only to climb back up again and attempt to weave a web once more. Eventually, after trying, and trying, and trying again, the spider managed to weave one single line of silk, and from there, was able to build its web.

    Bruce took from this that ‘if at first, you don’t succeed, try, try, try again’, and went on to defeat the English at the Battle of Bannockburn in 1314, despite the Scottish army being outnumbered around 7,000 to 13,000.

    Alba gu brath! X-D

  14. John Morales says

    [Nelson’s Eye]

    Review:

    I don’t associate webs with fragility.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider_silk

    Each spider and each type of silk has a set of mechanical properties optimised for their biological function.

    Most silks, in particular dragline silk, have exceptional mechanical properties. They exhibit a unique combination of high tensile strength and extensibility (ductility). This enables a silk fibre to absorb a large amount of energy before breaking (toughness, the area under a stress-strain curve).

    Strength and toughness are distinct quantities. Weight for weight, silk is stronger than steel, but not as strong as Kevlar. Spider silk is, however, tougher than both.

  15. Silentbob says

    @ Me

    John Harshman # 1 alludes to the legend

    12! not 1!

    My fingers seemed to have stopped working in sympathy with Morales’ ability to blockquote.

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