Ha ha, fooled you. I’ve been getting steadily worse. My ankle is totally fucked up, my whole foot is swelling like a balloon, and to top it all off, the problems are spreading to my knee. I’ve been reduced to lying immobile hoping some random twitch doesn’t trigger spasms of pain.
Last night was the worst. I’m trying to find a position I can sleep in, rearranging limbs and whimpering pathetically at every twinge, when Mary suggests we go to the ER. “No,” I whined. “I have to man up and deal with this in my manly masculine stupid way. I can’t admit that I can’t deal with this!”
Around 2am I turned to her and said “I can’t deal with this. Take me to the ER, please,” and she did.
So I was shortly stretched out on a table and a nurse was sticking an IV in, and then the Dilaudid flowed. O Sweet Relief! Then another liter or three of blood was extracted to pay for it, and I got lots of blood tests (which came back mostly normal). We’ve got to figure out what was going on, so there were a great many needle sticks as the doctor tried to draw fluids out of my joints, both the ankle and the knee. He succeeded, and slurped about 75mL of Mtn Dew out of me.
If I installed a tap in my knee, I could apparently get free Mtn Dew* at will.
The fluids have all been sent up to a lab in Alexandria. They’re to see if I’ve got an infection, or weird sharp crystals in solution damaging the tissues. He didn’t think it was an infection, and my uric acid results were normal, so he’s just being thorough. It’s time for some thoroughness here.
It’s also time for some pain management. I’m now on NORCON every four hours, for the next 5 days, and prednisone once a day for the same days. I’ve been on this before, and know what to expect: insomnia, diffuse anger at everything, and a wobbly, semi-drunken perspective on the world. So I’ll be ready to blog, in other words.
I’m also aware that I’m getting a few opioid doses here. There have been limits set on their use, and I’ll respect them. These things are scary. I’m just hoping I get an effective treatment before I have to stop taking the potent drugs.
I’m meeting a podiatrist tomorrow, and what will then follow is a solid plan of treatment. For now, it looks mainly like wearing the horrible boot and confinement to my house, where Mary will wait on me hand and foot. Maybe I should order a little silver bell from Amazon? Yeah, no, I don’t want to take her for granted.
*Warm, flat Mtn Dew that mainly tastes of salt. Maybe PepsiCo should think of a new flavor, Mtn Dew Synovial Goo.