This Theme Park Evangelist is not going to be popular with Ken Ham

Answers in Genesis has opened a shiny new attraction, The Journey of the Animals Carousel. It is what it sounds like, a carousel with different fiberglas (I assume) animals that goes around and around. That’s it.

This guy who calls himself the Theme Park Evangelist was very enthused, and called it exciting and unique in a video about it. It’s neither.

While gushing, though, he spilled a lot of the truth about it.

it has not had a lot of people on it yet: correct. It reflects my experience with the place: a whole lot of real estate with what may be, in aggregate, a substantial crowd, but everyone looks lost and scattered in it.

it sounds like Jurassic Park: oh, he noticed. They try very hard to rip off more popular intellectual properties, so they play a Jurassic Park sound-alike theme. There’s no originality here.

it’s got pictures all over the walls: there is no intrinsic didactic purpose to a carousel, but this is supposed to be an evangelical display, so they scatter plaques and posters on the walls to explain Jesus’ purpose. Which get ignored. The inside of the Ark is similar, the fake boat is there to provide convenient wall space for signage.

there’s no AC in here whatsoever: unsurprising. It’s a cheap outfit, all about providing a facade.

I do wonder what Ken Ham will think of this video made with the intent of promoting the Ark Park, but which only succeeds in making it look boring?


  1. Reginald Selkirk says

    … so they scatter plaques and posters on the walls to explain Jesus’ purpose.

    Which was to get the marsupials to Australia after the Noachic flood.

  2. brightmoon says

    Why did they build it inside? Other Carousels I’ve seen were under rooftops and had open sides that could be shut .

  3. anat says

    Carousels were exciting when I was 5. What is the attraction for anyone much older than that?

  4. moarscienceplz says

    I’m sure Ken Ham and his advisor Jesus don’t need my help, but if that were my carousel I’d try to find a way to hide the very industrial cargo doors. Even Renaisance Faires figured out very early on that cheap pieces of dyed burlap can hide a lot of illusion-spoiling modernity.

  5. raven says

    I said from the beginning that they need an outdoor stage or amphitheater for rock concerts.
    And a casino with a few bars. It is in Kentucky after all, where they make moonshine and whiskey.

    A casino would help draw in a more diverse crowd to hear jesus’s message.
    Which is not to draw to an inside straight.
    And for Blackjack, “When holding nine or less or 12-16 it’s best to hit, but stand on a total of 17 or more.”

  6. Reginald Selkirk says

    Speaking of Blackjack, I can hear the neighbor’s radio through the open window, playing Do it again by Steely Dan.

  7. larpar says

    I noticed that the young girl riding ahead of the vloger got bored before the end of the ride. Also, sparce “crowd” inside and out.

  8. says

    The carousel is so bland that it makes all department store kiddie rides look like major theme park attractions.
    If you seriously want to see real, more elaborate carousels, take a look at this.

    Now come to think of it.. TBH, I never thought about it before until you guys have noticed it and brought it up. I, too wonder why did that Dumb Idiot Ham installed light bulbs on his carousel if it was meant for indoors?

  9. Owlmirror says

    @PZ: You didn’t close on of the [q] tags up there, and Comic Sans’ed your own words.

  10. says

    Yeah, and the existence of none of those carousels is evidence for the existence of historical beasts or mythical creatures. That’s why they have to splat signage on the walls.

  11. birgerjohansson says

    Meh. Ned Flanders had a better religious theme park. It had gas gushing up you could get high on!
    And if you want to demonstrate biblical things like good and evil, I know a clown that would be interested.

  12. says

    Has anyone ever find out how slow or fast this thing is? I didn’t want to watch the video lest my blood pressure rises to dangerous levels. That’s why I asked.

  13. consciousness razor says

    They try very hard to rip off more popular intellectual properties, so they play a Jurassic Park sound-alike theme. There’s no originality here.

    It was either that or Schindler’s List, and I think we can all agree they made the right choice.

  14. abutsimehc says

    The only thing going round and round on the video for me is that little round white circle thingy in the middle … which indicates “loading” or sumthin. No matter … at least side show barker Ham could have installed a barrel organ on his merry goaround … to play gospel tunes … Billy Frank Graham hell fire and damnation sermons … and such. Thatllget the ‘roos a-hoppin! Poor Noah …. 40 days and nights sealed up in that thing … with NO air conditioning … 🤮 😓

  15. DanDare says

    Ken Ham and co must have really bleak lives if they think this is the height of entertainment.