This is for real?

A Recipe for Seduction,” a Lifetime Original mini-movie:

Hard to believe, but it is real, and just as tawdry as you might expect. It’s actually a maxi-commercial.

KFC had teamed up with Lifetime to deliver its own holiday mini-movie – “A Recipe for Seduction,” which will air on the Lifetime channel on Sunday.

The 15-minute mini-movie (or jumbo-commercial) features Mario Lopez, who has also starred in other Lifetime features such as “FelizNaviDAD.” Lopez will take on the role of Colonel Harland Sanders in the film.

It’s getting a lot of press, so it’s already successful…which means we can expect more cheesy depictions of company mascots appearing in bad miniature dramas. Look for the Borger King to appear in one of those Hallmark holiday movies with royalty, or the Little Caesars guy to show up on the History channel, or McDonald’s Grimace on Shudder.


  1. says

    I’m not watching that, but it just reminds me of that Bojack Horseman segment, where Kelsey Jannings directs an “immersive product placement journey” to advertise Chicken-4-Dayz.

  2. hemidactylus says

    None can hold a candle to the Geico gecko. Sad when commercials are better than shows they bankroll. Captain Obvious’ snark on condoms was priceless but hopefully he doesn’t get his own TV show. Didn’t that already happen with the Geico cavemen? Kinda like an SNL skit that shouldn’t go silver screen (Night at the Roxbury, Ladies Man (cringe)).

    I found myself a week or so ago on a rabbit hole that led me to looking up Colonel Sanders. Learned about the weird Kentucky Colonel thing.

    “In his later years, he became highly critical of the food served by KFC restaurants, as he believed they had cut costs and allowed quality to deteriorate… As late as 1979 Sanders made surprise visits to KFC restaurants, and if the food disappointed him, he denounced it to the franchisee as “God-damned slop” or pushed it onto the floor.[5][36] In 1973, Sanders sued Heublein Inc.—the then parent company of Kentucky Fried Chicken—over the alleged misuse of his image in promoting products he had not helped develop. In 1975, Heublein Inc. unsuccessfully sued Sanders for libel after he publicly described their gravy as being “sludge” with a “wall-paper taste”.[6]” and “ Sanders and his wife reopened their Shelbyville restaurant as “Claudia Sanders, The Colonel’s Lady” and served KFC-style chicken there as part of a full-service dinner menu, and talked about expanding the restaurant into a chain.[37] He was sued by the company for it.[37][38] After reaching a settlement with Heublein, he sold the Colonel’s Lady restaurant, and it has continued to operate, currently as the Claudia Sanders Dinner House.[37][38]”

    He didn’t seem a big fan of KFC. Ironic his image has outlived him in multiple deep fried incarnations (Norm MacDonald, really?) Almost as if they are mocking him. If he were to reanimate from the dead I wonder what he would think of KFC today.

    I did like Kenny Rogers Roasters and the original Boston Chicken. The former was a shrine to Kenny’s ego and now seems to have morphed into an Asian chain. Weird because I think I would prefer actual Malaysian cuisine if given the choice. Now that Kenny Rogers has passed I wonder if he will become another misfortunate food mascot. At least he left a legacy of music and movies.

  3. PaulBC says

    Johnny Depp as the Hamburglar in a thinly disguised remake of Ocean’s 11 set in the McDonaldverse.

    That would work, right?

  4. says

    What’s weird about the Kentucky Colonel thing? I am one. Got the official certificate signed by the governor somewhere around here.

    I should be demanding that everyone address me as “Colonel Myers” from now on. I’ll have to announce that to my students next term.

  5. dudev says

    The Popeye’s chicken mini-movie will be a “double” feature — greasy chicken and spinach.

  6. PaulBC says

    I always preferred Roy Rogers fried chicken, though KFC will do in a pinch. Roy Rogers is long gone. Now sure about the restaurants.

    FWIW, I never liked Chick-fil-A much. They came to the suburban Philly area in the late 70s or early 80s. I forget. Haven’t had any in years, but it always seemed way over-salted. Also, I like drumsticks. I never understood why people think white meat is the better part.

  7. hemidactylus says

    This is kinda awkward if true:

    “Reporters during the 1960s named Sanders as a known contributor to the campaigns of George Wallace Jr., the 45th Alabama governor known for his pro-segregation positions during the Civil Rights movement. Sanders was also one of Wallace’s serious considerations for his running mate during his failed presidential campaigns, according to Time.”

    But there is also: “ While it’s impossible to know whether Sanders ever used the N-word, author Josh Ozersky wrote in his book, “Colonel Sanders and the American Dream,” that Sanders “said ‘Negro’ until informed by some well-meaning person that the term had become offensive.””

    I think my rabbit hole dive had started with the Papa Johns guy downfall. Weird how you get distracted from the original mission on Wikipedia.

  8. christoph says

    @ PZ, # 4: You just reminded me of a scene in Inherit the Wind, “Temporary honorary colonel…”

  9. says

    Just following in the footsteps of the romance novel <b.Tender Wings of Desire, and the very anime-influenced game I love you, Colonel Sanders: A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator, which can be downloaded off of Steam.

    I am not making these up.

  10. brucej says

    Ahh, the McDonald’s thing will be a buddy road movie with Grimace and his cousin Gritty.

  11. wzrd1 says

    The laughable is, the “secret” recipe is actually in plain sight, but escapes notice. His secret was pressure frying the chicken, rather than deep frying, which takes longer and can result in overcooked chicken.
    But yeah, the gravy is indeed sludge. Just what one expects from lean six sigma corporate environments.

    @PZ, would that properly be Doctor Colonel or Colonel Doctor? It does sound like the makings fo an entertaining story…

  12. says

    Hulu worked with Ford to have a 30 minute maxi-commercial starring Walton Goggins as “John Ford” the spokesman from when the Bronco came out.

    Actually it was pretty funny at places, but its the same thing, just for the new Ford Bronco coming out this year.

  13. vucodlak says

    The skin is the best part… and yet, if you just tell them you “wants a bucket of tasty, tasty skin, yes, skin, please, bucket of skin, must have buckets of crispy skin, tasty skin, just one buckets, pleeeeeeasssse sssssskinnnnn,” they ask you to leave. I said please, and I stared them right in the eyes, and I said please again, and I only drooled a little, but they wouldn’t give me a bucket of ssssssskin.


  14. Kagehi says

    So, does this great documentary mention his early jobs working at gas stations, in which he, at one point, confronted a rival station’s manager, and the people that worked with them, a shoot out happened over it, in which he attempted to literally “remove the competition”, and one of his own allies was the only one killed? There is a video on the Today I Found Out channel about it. lol

  15. Ridana says

    2 @hemidactylus: The former was a shrine to Kenny’s ego and now seems to have morphed into an Asian chain.

    When I was a kid, Lawson’s was a thing. They tended to be skinny little two aisle shops that sold dairy products and snacks and sandwich meats. They’re almost all gone in the US now, but they’re huge in Japan, as convenience stores that sell everything. It’s hard to find an anime set in present day Japan that doesn’t have a scene showing a “Lewsen’s” or some other name variation to prevent lawsuits.

    Likewise, KFC is iconic in Japan, with buckets being a Christmas staple you have to order weeks in advance. Lifesize statues of the Colonel abound and also sometimes appear in anime.

    One of the most interesting stories (to me) about these statues is the Curse of the Colonel.
    “The curse was said to be placed on the team because of the Colonel’s anger over treatment of one of his store-front statues, which was thrown into the Dōtonbori River by celebrating Hanshin fans before their [baseball] team’s victory in the 1985 Japan Championship Series. As is common with sports-related curses, the Curse of the Colonel was used to explain the team’s subsequent 18-year losing streak.” By the time divers finally found him in 2009, the store he’d been stolen from was gone.