Homo sapiens is going to go extinct soon, aren’t we?

No comment.

Dooooomed. Dooomed, I tells you.


  1. Saad says

    The best part of it is that the lesson this person learned at the end of it all was “Definitely sticking to fresh for now.”

  2. taikonotaiko says

    Why do people seem to be determined to put pee anywhere other than in the toilet, where it belongs! That’s not even touching the horror of “aged urine”.

  3. johnmarley says

    Oh. Someone’s. Gawd.

    1) Deliberately putting urine in own eyes. WTF?
    2) Aged urine?! WTF? x2
    3) “Floaty bits” HOLY SHIT!! WTF is wrong with these people!

  4. a_ray_in_dilbert_space says

    What the everlasting fuck! I mean, forget how utterly ludicrous this practice is. The real question this raises is how the fuck did people start doing this? And… Really, you mean there’s a fricking community that talks about this and exchanges tips?

  5. says

    I believe there was an MLBer who used to pee on his hands because he claimed it toughened them up and gave him a better grip on the bat. Maybe so but nobody would shake hands with him.

  6. jrkrideau says

    @ 3 taikonotaiko

    Now, now, urine was highly prized in the medieval period for dying cloth (Maybe bleaching cloth?).

  7. says


    How about DON’T PUT PISS IN YOUR EYES. EVER.? I think that’s better. Ferchrissakes, people can be so damn stupid. Many times I’ve had to go searching for an image for a cancer chronicle, and it’ beyond painful, all the “cures” I see for any/all kinds of cancer. I wouldn’t be surprised if piss is in there somewhere.

  8. cartomancer says

    Latin it up a bit and you’ve got a great motto for any health education centre, hospital, government department or medical school:

    noli urinam una hebdomade veterem in oculis tuis imponere

    Probably work on a gravestone too…

  9. davidnangle says

    I know what that guy’s problem is. He probably just showers away his sweat. I’ve heard some normies do it every day!

    He should simply force that sacred fluid back into his body where it can do the most good! Force it how? Well, there’s iron in your beautiful blood, right? So you use NAILS to drive your sweat back into your body. Simple! /s

  10. says

    Ah Higgo, the linked article is interesting:

    Proponents of urine therapy—and there are enough of these to have populated three World Conferences on the subject—believe consuming one’s own urine boosts the immune system, and they also recommend using it as a skin treatment. But most say urine softens the skin, rather than hardening it. . . . As a delivery device for urea, lotion is much more effective than pee; in order for the urea in urine to have an effect, you’d need to soak your hands long enough for the urea to be absorbed by your skin, at least five minutes. While there’s no hygiene-related reason not to do so—”Urine is sterile, if a bit gross,” writes Stanford dermatology professor Dr. Alexa Boer Kimball in an e-mail—those with eczema or dermatitis may see their conditions exacerbated by contact with urine.

  11. Richard Smith says

    Aged urine, friend to the fuller.

    I remember the episode of “Worst Jobs in History” where Tony Robinson, dressed in period fuller’s garb, was ankle deep in aged urine “donated” by the show’s crew, stomping on a sheet of woven wool to get all the lanolin out of the fabric. So long as he didn’t take any deep breaths, he wasn’t too bad, but he was talking throughout the process, so he’d occasionally have to breathe in more, causing him to gag on the smell.

    cervantes: The soles of fullers’ feet must have been soft indeed.

  12. anbheal says

    I was body-surfing with my daughter in PV two years back, and she was stung by a jellyfish. It was immediately red and swelling, and she was crying out in pain, as we waded up onto the beach. A bunch of Mexican mothers called over to their sons to come help. At the time my daughter was a leggy, pretty, blond quasi-adolescent, and all these boys were 11, 12, 13, as well. They started whipping out their wangs, and their mothers said “oh it’s the best cure, urine”.

    Man, you shoulda seen the look in my daughter’s eyes. “They want to pee on my leg????”

    “Um…yes, evidently…..um. I’ve actually heard about that before, with jellyfish bites….maybe the ammonia counteracts the venom….but….”

    “But nothing!”, she shouted, all of a sudden not crying, “we’re going to a fucking pharmacy, c’mon!”

  13. sillybill says

    Richard Smith,
    After that comment I had to go look up the ingredient/s in ‘Fuller’s Earth’ – whew…

  14. vucodlak says

    Dear gods. I have, from time to time, urinated in containers and left it sitting for a while. It does indeed get cloudy with “floaty things” in it. It also smells absolutely terrible. I always dreaded opening such containers, and I had a tendency to freak out if any of it splattered on me when I was emptying them into the toilet. With some of the oldest bottles, I half-expected the contents to actively resist my attempts to flush them, or at least curse my name in demonic tongues as they swirled down the tubes.

    I’m 95% sure those “floaty things” are bacterial colonies, by the way. Urine isn’t sterile once it leaves the body, and it seems to be a pretty good growth medium. These fools’ eyes are going to rot right out of their skulls.

  15. blf says

    If it was biologically useful to pee in your own eyes, then you would pee out of an inverted nose.

  16. dharter says

    Darwin awards, the only hope. Maybe they will kill themselves off before they reproduce and purify the gene pool.

  17. Victor says

    Urine, Murine. It’s only one letter off.

    Maybe they think that Murine is just an expensive, trademarked version of Matured Urine.

  18. Ichthyic says

    “Um…yes, evidently…..um. I’ve actually heard about that before, with jellyfish bites….maybe the ammonia counteracts the venom….but….”

    never ever listen to Mexican mothers and their folk cures.

    always wrong. always.

    this, from much experience living in Mexico.

    that said, there HAS been research done on the best treatment to denature jellyfish stings, and other than making sure you physically remove (by carefully pulling off) all bits and pieces of tentacles, once that is done evidently acetic acid (vinegar) was the ONLY thing that cause any venom denaturing and had the slightest real effect.

    If you’re interested, I’m sure I could dig up the paper.

  19. leolfs says

    Aye Captain,
    unless the Vulcans save us. Their unquestionable logic would never allow them to consider such primitive impulses. I’m sure they will be intrigued though, as the piss in the eye meme must surely be unique to this species and has never been observed in this galaxy.

  20. militantagnostic says

    My cousin was a principle dancer in the Alberta Ballet Company in late 70s and early 80s. When they had pulled something or twisted an ankle a Russian woman would recommend the “pee pee cure” – immediately putting urine on the injury.

  21. Athaic says

    There are some legitimate reason to look at urine for health benefits. By example, it contains a number of peptides with antimicrobial properties, which may help keeping it a sterile fluid. Certainly more sterile than the water running in the puddle next to you, so a long time ago, it may not have been that stupid to use urine to wash wounds.

    That being said…
    – These peptides are not present in very high concentration, and they are surrounded with plenty of other products which the kidneys have deemed as waste. Isolating these peptides rather than splashing the whole soup should be the first step you think of.
    – Any bacteria found alive in urine had obviously found some ways to resist the nasty effects of these peptides, at least in these low concentrations. Inoculating these resistant bacteria onto your eyes, where the same peptides, for the most part, are used to keep micro-organisms at bay… Now we are in doubly-stupid territory.
    – Letting the urine “mature”… OK, these antimicrobial peptides are meant to be released outside of the body, and put in contact with various micro-organisms and all their biomolecule-breaking enzymes, so they tend to be resilient. stable, resistant to proteases and all that. Now, if you let bacteria and yeasts fermenting whatever is floating around in the urine, these peptides are just going to be chewed like every other food source. Alt-med proponents like to talk about “toxins”; well, this primordial soup of pee-pee is now choke-full of real toxic products. We have left the stupidity horizon long ago and are now running over the insanity terminator, and still accelerating.

  22. hemidactylus says

    The eminent psychologist Jordan B. Peterson (ridiculed mercilessly in these parts by the benighted lefty pomos) has told us to emulate lobsters in our posture because shared ancestry. I take that advice seriously and would also suggest that because shared ancestry we emulate the lagomorphs who engage in coprophagy (technical term…look it up). Rabbits have shiny coats and sweet dispositions. They are also a social species ensconced in their warrens (cite Watership Down).

    Because actual ancestry everything the Paleo crowd says is Gospel. Given the scavengers in our distant past we should adopt a diet of berries and road kill. I recall Henry Rollins following some road kill consumers around for his miniseries Animal Underworld. That should be the Paleo way. If it was good enough for our ancestors. And it is natural…well except for the getting hit by a car thing.

    So to recapitulate (biogenetic pun)…stand up straight and eat your poop with road kill and berries. I should write a book.

  23. leskimopie says

    Hmm…what was it my mother always told me about piss and eyes? “Never put piss in your eyes. Never put piss in your eyes. Piss in your eyes. Put piss in your eyes. Always put piss in your eyes!” AAARGGHH MY EYES!

  24. taikonotaiko says

    @37 hemidactylus: This reminds me of one of my fun stories of the old internet! I’d gotten into a discussion with my housemate about rabbits, and he didn’t believe me that they eat their own poop. So I looked it up online.

    Let’s just say that the BBS thread I found on the subject was both enlightening and has ruined Mars bars forever! (And hardly anyone was talking about rabbits on it anyway.)

  25. Rowan vet-tech says

    @37 hemidactylus: If you think rabbits have sweet dispositions, you have not been around many rabbits. :P

    The fiercest critter I’ve ever come across was a 2 pound dwarf bun that HATED other rabbits with a passion and would leap over the 3 foot walls of her enclosure to beat up the 12 pound rabbit next door. She would also growl and charge any human who came by and bit everyone multiple times (yay having to do eye meds on this tiny eldritch being!). Therefore, eating shit doesn’t make one a push over who tolerates shit in turn.

  26. Tethys says

    Urine has so many compounds you do not want in your eyes, especially once it hits the air and starts oxidizing. It is useful for tanning leather, the ammonia was once used to make saltpetre, and to whiten everything from laundry to teeth. (shudder) It also makes good plant food, as already mentioned.

    Between these folks, and the people eating tide pods it does cause some despair for the supposed intelligence of the species.