Did anyone else notice the title of the Republican health care plan?


The actual, real, serious, honest-to-god name of the bill is…

H.R.1275 – World’s Greatest Healthcare Plan of 2017

I’m not joking. Look it up.

They informatively explain to us that This Act may be cited as the “World’s Greatest Healthcare Plan of 2017”.

I’m dying. Our representatives have the maturity of two year olds.

Comments

  1. stevewatson says

    What, better than Canada’s? Not that we’re perfect, but I just had a couple of GP consults, a CT scan and an ultrasound, within three weeks, and it cost us all of $8 for parking at the hospital. (The really scary possibilities have been ruled out).

  2. birgerjohansson says

    I see two possibilities; Someone has hacked into their site, or the Orange Entity from Zeta Reticuli has picked the name himself.
    In the latter case, it would actually be an advantage: The sooner Trump falls apart and start appointing his favourite horses to senior government posts a la Caligula, the sooner the occasional GOPer will see Trump for what he is.

  3. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Since the rethugs ignored any democratic input in writing their plan, the democrats should offer a competing plan fixing some the problems with the ACA, including allowing people to buy into medicare/medicaid as a public option if there is a lack of choice in a state’s insurance plans. It obviously won’t go anywhere in the rethug controlled congress, but it will be a great talking point for the weekend political shows, where the rethugs talk money, and the democrats talk coverage. People will listen.

  4. feb2772 says

    I thought you were joking around. Wow – that’s special. Anyway, I am with Steve Watson – I fail to see how it could be better than Canada’s. :)

  5. blf says

    I fail to see how it could be better than Canada’s

    Easy — USAlienstani is teh mostest super yuge betterest country evar, so anything from the thugs has to be ye bester!!!1!

  6. euclide says

    Not as great a title as the PATRIOT Act. That was a real propaganda jewel.

    And viewed from Europe, the whole US debate about health insurance is pure madness
    (To be fair, there is pressure to break our public assurance to please the private sector, but we are far from the drama you have with the Republicans)

  7. Saad says

    First I thought you were messing with us. Then I thought you had fallen for a hoax. Then I clicked on the link, looked at the URL and sat there in disbelief for a few seconds.

    How embarrassing it’s going to be telling people where I’m coming from when I travel over the next few years.

  8. congenital cynic says

    Well, it can’t be the best health care plan because there are other ones that are demonstrably better. Like those in almost every country that has a single-payer system. The one we have (Canada) covers everyone. Canadian friends of mine who live in France say that theirs is even better.

    But republicans are living in the land of delusion, so what would you expect.

  9. davidnangle says

    It occurs to me that our next president really will have to have an apology tour.

    I didn’t check. Is the bill written in crayon? Or finger-painted with feces?

  10. says

    Since it’s specific to the USA, the ghastly thought comes to me that it may well be “World*’s Greatest Healthcare Plan of 2017” because however bad it is now they are sure to fuck it up as they play with it.

    ________________________
    * Teo words “World”, “Series”.

  11. Larry says

    I guess the “Fuck ya’ all and the horse you rode in on, I got mine, Healthcare Plan of 2017” wouldn’t fit on page.

  12. gAytheist says

    Sad to say I don’t think this is accurate. It seems the bill being referenced was submitted by Pete Sessions on March 1 whereas the new bill that Ryan is talking about was only brought up yesterday (March 7). I’ve been unable to find the actual bill on the congressional web site so it’s possible that it hasn’t actually been officially introduced yet.

  13. Rob Bos says

    How … masturbatory.

    I don’t think the Onion could have done better.

    I hope that’s not what they actually plan to try to pass.

  14. Pierce R. Butler says

    All I got after clicking our esteemed host’s link was –

    503 Service Temporarily Unavailable

  15. cartomancer says

    I’ll just repeat what the other non-Americans said – proper socialized medicine is great. My mother has had two hip replacement operations, five prescriptions for medication lasting the course of a whole year, physiotherapy for recovery and mobility aids for the house, and it cost her nothing at all. I had all four of my wisdom teeth out last year, and it cost me the princely sum of £40.

    We complain, and rightly so, about the Tory government’s underfunding of the NHS here in the UK, but compared to what you put up with we’re on easy street.

    Or has the US government finally discovered the meaning of irony?

  16. says

    “H.R.1275 – World’s Greatest Healthcare Plan of 2017”
    While a ridiculous name, that is NOT “THE” Republican “American Health Care Act” that was presented to the public the other night.

  17. jerthebarbarian says

    I was just going to say the same thing that Paul Claessen @18 did. The “American Health Care Act” is the official name for what Paul Ryan put out the other day. This is a different plan that was introduced by Pete Sessions last week and has been sent off to committee – possibly with Paul Ryan hoping it dies there.

  18. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    I’m sure they’re playing “dictionary”. Canada healthcare is an implementation, no longer a “plan”. What the Rethugs offer is a “plan” not yet implemented.
    How many plans have been offered in 2017? This might be the first _plan_, so by dfn. it is “the best” (exclude grammatical misuse of “best” for a single item list)
    —–
    I’m sure, though that they don;t play games with dictionaries, just the idea that slapping a good name on a piece of shart will prevent any controversy by preventing people from reading more than the title. I have the illusion that the majority only reads headlines and then think they got the full story. The Repubs are playing with the majority comprehension skills.

    I’m just a dark, never see the good side of anything, even considering myself an optimist, paradoxically.
    ?

  19. eamick says

    birgerjohansson @2: Oh, it’s very real. The same guy introduced this bill in the last Congress as the World’s Greatest Healthcare Plan Act of 2016.

  20. petesh says

    Well, how many other 2017 Plans are there? Huh? Answer me that, libs!
    Calvin grew up and got elected to Congress, and took Hobbes along with him.

  21. sparks says

    davidnangle

    8 March 2017 at 11:50 am

    It occurs to me that our next president really will have to have an apology tour.

    I didn’t check. Is the bill written in crayon? Or finger-painted with feces?

    All that can be said for sure (from a safe distance) is that it’s orange and doesn’t smell too good.

  22. bargearse says

    Another non-USAian who’s very happy with socialised medicine. My father had a triple bypass 2 days ago using the public system here in Australia. Total cost has been a big fat zero. But if the republicans say their plan is the greatest who am I to argue, they wouldn’t lie would they?

  23. FossilFishy (NOBODY, and proud of it!) says

    Another big tick for the Canadian health care system here. I’m now using the Australian system and the Canadian one I grew up with is better. Here you have to do a stupid pay your bill then we’ll refund most of it bit of theatre. Thanks LNP, your pandering to your base means the bank gets more fees from me. The first time I went to the Dr here I got in trouble because when I was finished I just walked out without going through the all that nonsense.

    Mind you, I had a literally crippling injury a few years ago and my out of pocket cost for the surgery and physio to get me walking again was zero. So that’s two health carse systems that are demonstrably better than this new American one.

  24. Rey Fox says

    So, not being content with destroying healthcare, they’ve decided to play a shell game with it.

    I hope they all get fast-acting rectal cancer.

  25. malta says

    I’m so jealous of everyone living in a country with a decent healthcare system. I’m currently fighting a $230 “facility charge” for an annual physical that no one disclosed when I asked about costs while making my appointment or when I asked again at the front desk when I arrived for the appointment. And my insurance won’t cover it because I haven’t reached my deductible yet even though an annual physical is a preventive service that’s supposed to be covered.

    The saddest part is that the US *has* socialized medicine. It’s called Medicare. Oh yeah, and Republicans fought hard against that too back in the day (and would still probably try to privatize it if they had half a chance). Why does anyone keep voting for these assholes? WHY???

  26. Ed Seedhouse says

    The Canadian Medicare program, speaking as one who uses it, is by no means perfect. The Canadian Constitution puts medical care into the Provincial domain and every time a province elects a conservative government they set about making “more efficient” by trying to privatize it. The Federal government can stop much of this because it provides much of the funding and “he who pays the piper….”.

    Here in B.C. we have shortages of both nurses and doctors and the “Liberal” (i.e. Conservative in disguise) Provincial government, alone in Canada, levies a regressive tax on it, disguised as a “premium”. I went for six months without a Family Doctor last year, because the old one retired and the new one who took over his practice came from the USA and it took months and months to get the paperwork done.

    So yeah, it could be a lot better, but still it’s miles ahead of the Affordable Care Act which, in turn, (although about the worst government health plan in the whole world), is miles better than what went before it.

    People are going to die because they voted for Trump. Very sad.

  27. says

    Another big tick for the Canadian health care system here. I’m now using the Australian system and the Canadian one I grew up with is better. Here you have to do a stupid pay your bill then we’ll refund most of it bit of theatre.

    That must be stressful to low income people using the healthcare system in Australia. Just seeing a bill would stress me out, especially if I was expected to pay for it from the meagre savings and earnings, even if I was going to get most of it back in the end. I’d wonder where rent, and food would come from in the meantime. While I think we should be careful about referring to Canadian health care as though it is a single system, there are 13 provincial and territorial insurance plans guided by standards in the Canada Health Act, and a lot of it varies from province to province, the fact that the CHA guarantees hospital services are universally covered is comforting. I recently went to a local urgent care clinic at a nearby hospital, and it is a whole lot less stressful when no bills are involved, and I just show my health card. The same is true of the endoscopy I had last week in relation to that visit. It is nice not to have to worry about the bill, and just show up, get it done, and walk back out.

  28. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    The saddest part is that the US *has* socialized medicine. It’s called Medicare. Oh yeah, and Republicans fought hard against that too back in the day (and would still probably try to privatize it if they had half a chance). Why does anyone keep voting for these assholes? WHY???

    Yeah, I hear you. After the Redhead’s last hospitalization (one week in ICU) (to be truthful, we had medicare plan F supplemental insurance on her) I have received only on only medical bill, and after updating the insurance info, no bills have arrived in almost 2 months. From the supplemental insurance statements, zero money is expected from her estate (which is me).
    Which is how it should be.

  29. says

    But Canada also has some glaring gaps in what is covered. Like Ed Seedhouse said above, I think it is miles ahead of the ACA, it disappoints me that many Canadians seem to ignore them, and not realize how our systems compare to countries other than the US. Plenty of services I think should be considered essential are not generally covered outside of specific programs, including dental, vision, and prescription drugs.

  30. EigenSprocketUK says

    “American Health Care Act”

    …?
    Utterly, typically, American Health Care Act”
    There: fixed it for ya.
    (With apologies to every other country on that continent, of course.)

  31. magistramarla says

    We have what is considered “very good” health insurance. I’ve had two spine surgeries in the space of 18 months. The second was to repair what the first surgeon messed up. Each time, we had to pay the hospital upfront the amount of money that would add up to the $6000.00 maximum deductible for the year that we had not yet reached. Also, there have been smaller bills that have come in over the course of several months. Most of these were bills from some specialist who happened to see me in the ICU or the rehabilitation center who didn’t have a contract with our insurance, and so was considered “out of network”.
    We are lucky enough that these surprise bills are not financially crippling, but I feel that this is outrageous.
    I’m currently going to physical therapy to learn to walk again, but once I’m finished there, I’ve sworn off of the health care system.
    Absolutely no more surgeries for me – ever!

  32. FossilFishy (NOBODY, and proud of it!) says

    Travis #31

    That must be stressful to low income people using the healthcare system in Australia. Just seeing a bill would stress me out, especially if I was expected to pay for it from the meagre savings and earnings, even if I was going to get most of it back in the end. I’d wonder where rent, and food would come from in the meantime.

    You’re underestimating the sheer theatrical pointlessness of this whole thing. The way it works is that you pay at the counter the full amount using a card, and if you’ve registered your bank details with Medicare they refund you right then and there. It’s ridiculous, but at least you’re not waiting for a bill. And to be clear, this has only ever happened to me at the GP and once at a specialist. Never for truly high cost things like surgery.

    The truly disadvantaged get what I think is called* a “Health Care Card” which entitles them to a much greater rate of refund. I pay about 20$ for a GP visit and I’m pretty sure Ms. Fishy who has said card doesn’t pay anything.

    *Confused the hell out of me when I was learning the system. I have a Medicare card which by my Canadian experience could be called a Health Care Card as less branded way of labelling it. They would ask me if I had a Health Care Card and were confused when I produced my Medicare one. No one ever explained the difference I had to ask Ms. Fishy about it.

  33. F.O. says

    @FossilFishy #36
    I have a debit card (not a “credit” card) because it’s less expensive, and it means that they can’t refund me at the counter.
    I can use the medicare app, take a pic of the invoice, enter some numbers, and that’s it.
    Still feels like a byzantine system.
    Plus, I was flabbergasted when I learned that I need an *ambulance* insurance without which in case of emergency you might have to pay 1000s of AUD.

  34. bargearse says

    FO @ 37

    I live in Queensland where ambulance cover is provided by the state and this applies regardless of where in Australia you need the service, it’s been that way for 10 or 15 years. It never occurred to me other states still don’t have that but a quick check shows it’s just us and Tasmania who cover it.

  35. FossilFishy (NOBODY, and proud of it!) says

    Yeah, when I decided “Who needs patella tendons? Not me!” I was grateful that I had ambulance cover. Or more accurately, I was grateful that Ms. Fishy knew that we needed it and did the work to purchase a plan. I’m sure the fact that it’s not covered universally is another sop to the rabid right base of the Libs.

  36. chigau (違う) says

    500 days ago
    The SO went to the hospital because ventricular fibrillation.
    It must have been a slow night because we had three cars plus a shift supervisor.
    Then there was four or five diurnals in CICU (with lots of arcane equipment).
    Another week or so in CCU.
    Internal defibrillator implant.
    Four months of rehab/physo.
    Ablation surgery.
    Follow-up consults and evaluations.

    We paid (out of pocket) for the ambulance to the hospital ca. $300 CAD
    The ongoing meds are not cheap.
    but
    the rest of it was paid by
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    taxes.
    If we lived in the USA, we would both be dead.

  37. John Morales says

    Phillip Helbig @42, from your link:

    While a bill entitled “World’s Greatest Healthcare Plan” was introduced to the 115th Congress by U.S. Rep. Sessions, it is not the one backed by the president and the majority of Republicans.

    More than one bill?

    Remarkable.

    So, the OP should have read “this bill” (because there is more than one!) rather than “the bill”.

    I think the OP remains pertinent — and even weirder — given that.

  38. ck, the Irate Lump says

    Wow. That’s a pretty terrible bill.

    (1) APPLICATION FOR WAIVER OF RESTRICTIONS.—An individual who is required to be licensed or certified by a State as a condition of furnishing items or services as a health care professional (as defined by the Secretary of Health and Human Services) may submit to the Secretary an application to waive any condition of such licensure or certification.

    Who needs licensing of professionals who can do severe harm if unskilled or unqualified?

    Much of the rest is the tax shelter Healthcare Savings Account nonsense.

  39. Alverant says

    Phillip Helbig, Sessions still proposed a bill called “world’s greatest”, that much is true at least.

  40. says

    This sounds familiar. In 2012 John Boehner called the US health care system “the best health care delivery system in the world,” and Mitch McConnell followed with “the finest health care system in the world.” Both statements are untrue.

    I’ve been writing a satire bible for a fictional religion that mentions a place having “the best health care system in the world” so now I might have to edit it to make reference to this…

  41. Pierce R. Butler says

    Ed Seedhouse @ # 30: People are going to die because they voted for Trump.

    Lots of people will die because other people voted for Trump. Mourn them first.

  42. unclefrogy says

    if the “new plan” works great if it does not work which seems more likely great. It is important in this that the republicans must be seem as responsible for the out come regardless.
    It must be very clear and undeniable let them like Trump stand up and do it in full public view and say it like they mean it.

    uncle frogy

  43. mostlymarvelous says

    Travis.

    Oz health care costs can be stressful, but not _quite_ as bad as you might think. So long as you have the relevant bank/credit card account number recorded on your medicare data, the refund comes back into your account pretty well instantly. 2 or 3 hours depending on the time of your payment and _definitely_ within 24 hours. So if you’re able to scrounge the cash from wherever/ whoever, you can repay/recoup either the same day or the next morning. Remembering also that Oz doctor appointments are usually far, far less costly than what I’ve seen American people report paying for theirs.

    I’m currently suffering a bit here. My GP referred me to a specialist physician who charges like a wounded bull (by Australian standards) – each consult now costs me around $90 net, the initial consult was absolutely breathtaking – but I figure paying one of him so much is probably better than paying various endocrinologist-allergist-rheumatologist-dermatology specialists a bit less each but a lot more in aggregate. I should point out also that the blood tests needed before each consult are completely free. As are the Pain Management and Wound Management clinics/services at the hospital and the home visits by nurses (though that’s about to run out, if I need them for much longer I’ll have to find $30 a month for twice weekly visits. Absolute peanuts when you think about it. I had thought that it wouldn’t be necessary at all, but now that I’m taking methotrexate for the arthritis, the immune suppression means that wound healing is no longer as good as it should be. My main self care plan for health at the moment is crossing my fingers.)

    The other great advantage of the Oz health system is our PBS for medications. We pay only the paltry age pension concessional rate for each standard prescription regardless of the real cost of the item. I just checked the methotrexate – $5.30 at the top of the label, $50.88 at the bottom to show how much it costs the govt. And we pay nothing at all for medication for the rest of the year once our total family spend exceeds whatever the “safety net” amount is this year.