This is a problem I never had, back in the day

The Great American Satan is writing about role-playing games, and it’s enlightening for someone who played these games 25-30 years ago. Erotic and romantic role-play? Never heard of it. We were nerds. We didn’t know what sex was, and no way were we going to game it, since that would have just meant exposing our ignorance.

So I have a solution for G.A. Satan: only let virgins play. Solves everything.


  1. Great American Satan says

    Thx for the link yo!

    I get the impression some ERPers have never had IRL sex so I don’t know how much help that would be. Probably the best players had IRL sex they’d rather forget. Muhaha, as it were.

  2. gijoel says

    So I have a solution for G.A. Satan: only let virgins play. Solves everything.

    Ah,hahahhahahahaha. They’re the worst, because they’re constantly trying to impress on people that they’re not virgins. I was in a writer’s group where one attendee was nicknamed ‘porn girl’. She’d obsessively talk about the porn she watched and her favourite adult shop, no matter what everyone else was discussing.

  3. NitricAcid says

    My friends an I still play, and we have kids. We’ve clearly all scored at least once.

  4. brucej says

    Hmm, my first role playing & D&D gaming group (and this was early ’77, ’78 so ‘back in the day’) had equal representation male/female, *all* of whom were quite familiar with the concept (and practice!) of sex and none of us had sex in-game (after game, before game, in-between? yes, enthusiastically :-)

    Even when I got back into playing in the 80’s our games consisted of several couples together playing (and the women weren’t there just to please husbands/boyfriends, they were out for blood!). I NEVER played in an all-male group in all those years. Even my PBEM games have had women playing.

    In fact, of the bunch I started gaming with all those decades ago, roughly 70% of us are still married…to each other.

    Apparently we’re the Great Outlier Group, or it’s clear that the secret to long marriage is a lot of D&D…

  5. Great American Satan says

    Bruce- That’s sweet. I’ve met a few people like that over the years, but never a whole group of them.

  6. laurentweppe says

    We didn’t know what sex was, and no way were we going to game it, since that would have just meant exposing our ignorance.

    You’re talking about the ancient world of pre-internet porn: a memory fading so fast that by the time I’m your age, you’ll get conspiracy theories claiming that there never was such a world and that the historians speaking about it are just part of the Great Judeo-Bolshevik-SJW conspiracy.

    Nowadays, people “educate” themselves, then repeat what they watched in assemblies composed of like-minded and similarly “educated” people who don’t know any better.

  7. cartomancer says

    I find it a very peculiar concept myself. Personally I find the whole world of sex a frustrating, depressing and unhappy one, and fantasy games are an ideal place to get away from all its miseries. I’m very much of the Tolkien school, and don’t like fantasy books, games, films etc. that have sexual themes in them. I have to put up with enough of that crap in real life!

  8. Matrim says

    Honestly, I haven’t noticed a huge difference between the percentage of sexually clueless nerds and the percentage of sexually clueless in the population at large. Granted, I don’t go around asking everyone, but still.

  9. says

    Personally I don’t want a glimpse at my DM’s secret inner world that will come should he try to play “Sexy chick” at my character.

  10. magistramarla says

    Bruce – That’s what I hear from my daughter, too. She and her husband are into gaming and she’s often leading a “raid” while nursing the baby. She’s also mentioned that there are several married couples in their group and that they have become good friends and have met a few in “meat-space”.
    Their group is fairly family-oriented. Her 17 yr old son plays with them occasionally, and I’ve heard them inviting another grandson of mine who lives in Denver to join their group.
    That doesn’t mean that they aren’t cut-throat in the games. I’ve heard her mention that, and I know that the 11 yr old in Denver plays games to win!

  11. Great American Satan says

    Magistra @12 – On playing to win, that reminds me of this video from Brad Neely (gory cartoon violence and possible mild NSFW content i don’t recall)

    Danny @13 – What is that? I somehow don’t think googling “fatal” is gonna come back with results I want to see.

  12. Great American Satan says

    Yikes! Thanks for the indirect link. I love not giving weird creeps traffic.

  13. laurentweppe says

    I used to play before the kids, I used to play when I had the kids.
    And yeah, we had adult content. But I used to play with really good friends, so there was a level of trust involved.

    Come on, just admit it: You were into it because of all the Chart-Porn