Also, it’s attractive and stylish

This patent was filed 94 years ago.


Surely by now they’re in mass production. Where can I buy one? I’d kind of like to retire to the ocean floor today.


  1. kevinalexander says

    It never went into production. The inventor was eaten by a competitor in a sperm whale suit.

  2. says

    I’d kind of like to retire to the ocean floor today.

    I’d like to be under the sea
    In an octopus’s garden in the shade
    He’d let us in, knows where we’ve been
    In his octopus’s garden in the shade

  3. quotetheunquote says

    How does one make the tentacles move?

    Tsk – that’s easy; by attaching a box fan to the base of each one, of course!

    Now, controlling how they move, that’s another story….

  4. blf says

    Looks a bit cramped

    That’s just the one (or two, if you very friendly) “roadster” shuttle-craft version. Rather fun to zoom around in (the jets are quite powerful), but not much ink and a tendency to get eaten by Sperm Whales. The mobile habitat version — built in a factory in the center of the Greenland ice cap (the ice is hollow for a reason) — is large enough to accommodate a fleet of Sperm Whales in its interior dock, and of course, has lasers mounted on its tentacles. It’s faster than you might think, and the main problem is that, at speed, it has sufficient momentum so that when it collides with a seamount, the mountain looses. That’s embarrassing, especially if the seamount happens to be a volcano…

  5. blf says

    The “person” missing from the first sentence @8 was eaten by a Sperm Whale. Yeah, that’s it. No proofredding mesteak her e…

  6. says

    Grandpa used to own one. It was our favourite toy. We used to invite other kids over for a swim and introduce them to grandpa when they first went underwater. Well, until that one time…

  7. Rich Woods says

    That costume must be how they were able to shoot the giant octopus fight scene in the film ‘Bullshot Crummond’.

    Bullshot: Well, I just modulated my voice until it sounded like the hunting call of the sperm whale, and that forced the octopus to release us and flee.
    Rosemary: Oh, Bullshot!

  8. azpaul3 says

    I’d kind of like to retire to the ocean floor today.

    No can do. You’re obligated through the end of this semester and the next. Maybe in June.