The war on Christmas is heating up. Look: here’s Colbert mocking atheists. He sneers at our atheist Christmas cards, and even laughs at our letters to our families.
And then there’s Chris Buttars of Utah. Somebody get the memo to him, stat — doesn’t he know that the War on Christmas is to be waged with humor and sarcasm? He’s taking it seriously! There is a bit of humor there, though. Advertisers and legislators in Utah — Utah! — don’t seem to be taking him very seriously.
How great would that be if a baby’s first words really were God is dead.? Just the shock value at a social gathering would be priceless!
I wonder if he or someone on his staff reads this blog? Those cards were just mentioned here.
Oh, Stephen? Are you lurking here? Start posting as your theist character and we’ll give you lots of material. We’ll play nice. Promise.
“Somebody get the memo to him, stat — doesn’t he know that the War on Christmas is to be waged with humor and sarcasm?”
What are you talking about? What do you mean? I’ve just spent thousands on my authentic Roman guard uniform and weaponry (Actually I had all the blades made with modern steel – they hold their edge better)! And I spent all of the Thanksgiving holiday building crosses and sharpening spikes. What the hell PZ!
Ah satire, one of the great tools against idiots. There are many people, mostly irrational creationists, credulous believers, and the criminally incompetent (not mutually exclusive of each other) who can’t fathom certain levels of humor. Looking at you Utah.
Well, I guess I need to add Steven Colbert to my Newtonmas card list.
the War on Christmas is to be waged with humor and sarcasm
But…but…awww. *waves whip around limply*
Whenever I hear anyone describe America as a “Christian Nation”, I pause to reflect on the protracted mass genocide of the Native Peoples. Then I realize that Xianity is ALL ABOUT subjugation and paternal oppression, and it all makes sense. Yup, we’re a Christian Nation alright, but that’s a really, really bad thing.
Have a slammin’ solstice everyone!
Time to charge the Catholic church under RICO:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2003/aug/17/religion.childprotection/print
The Vatican instructed Catholic bishops around the world to cover up cases of sexual abuse or risk being thrown out of the Church.
The Observer has obtained a 40-year-old confidential document from the secret Vatican archive which lawyers are calling a ‘blueprint for deception and concealment'”
If someone from the the Colbert Report is reading Pharyngula then I say we join forces. With our combined poll crashing strength we could bring order to the galaxy. If you only knew the power of the Brights side….
Also, feel free to steal any of my jokes here for your show.
In support of Christmas I would like to propose that Christian merchants greet their customers with “Merry Christmas, Chris Buttars is a Mormon and Mormons are not Christians.”
and of course on the same page interspersed with the story is the ad and link to the 25%-off xmas sale
“Vatican archive which lawyers are calling a ‘blueprint for deception and concealment'”
Come on man. Haven’t you read the bumper stickers? Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven. The laws of man do not apply. Only the lord shall judge.
(eeww – I feel dirty after typing that tripe)
That’s very old news. The document is crimen sollicitationis, The real scandal is that nothing has changed except that the cover-ups are now masterminded centrally by the Vatican.
Almost burst out laughing loud enough for my whole office to hear. “..all I got was a Mangrove Finch! Sure it had a more graduated beak than last year’s but STILL!” Colbert and his writers are geniuses at comedy.
“Nation … you cannot take the “Christ” out of Christmas — any more than you can take “Christ” out of CrystalLight!”
I am so stealing that…
Sigh. As usual, Colbert is to close to a real arsehole to amuse me. Also, on this subject I understand his heart’s not really in the mockery.
Look: here’s Colbert mocking atheists.
I assume Colbert IS an atheist.
Catholic
PZ, humour and sarchasm are our weapons. The other mostly uses hot air and spittle.
Chris @ #16:
Shows what little you understand of satire. Or, more charitably, it shows just how GOOD Colbert is at performing satire. His heart is DEFINITELY in it, and I submit as evidence his performance at the White House Press Correspondents dinner bash a couple of years ago. I read an interview with SC where he was relating to his wife what he intended to say, and her repeated response was a laughing “No! No! No!”. His reply was “Yes! Yes! Oh Yes!”. He takes great glee in his work.
O’Reilly also takes it seriously:
I just barely saw a bit of it, as I don’t normally watch him.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7
ha, hilarious! Colbert and his staff are amazingly gifted at satire. It’s just too bad he’s catholic – I really don’t quite get it.
PZ, you’re going to have to stop posting all of these funny videos and stories. I’m supposed to be writing my comp. right now, and this is becoming very distracting!
Sen. Buttars?
“There’s a war against CHRISTMAS?! Aw hamburgers!”
I wish all believers where so smart and funny as Colbert, then we could have a real discussion about religion.
By the way even if Colbert is a Catholic at least he has a deep respect for the separation of church and government.
To follow up on my earlier post at # 20, I just went back and listened to the source for Colbert’s cooking up the press correspondent speech. It was an episode of NPR’s “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me”.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=15472151
I never watch O’Reilly unless I know that all my shots are up to date.
Mike @ 20
Fuck off, there’s a good chap. I happen to be a keen student of satire, and one of the first things I learned was that being able to mimic those you wish to lampoon is not actually very sophisticated.
I love Colbert, because I understand irony and sarcasm.
@#18
Close enough.
Tell that to Billy Donohue
Chris @ 27:
The sophistication you’ve demonstrated is breathtaking. Don’t make me come over and show you how angels wind up on top of christmas trees!
Well, good work! I’m certainly laughing at you.
Colbert is extremely knowledgeable on religious topics. Sometimes you’ll catch a comment he makes that you would only fully understand if you have an extremely good understanding of a lot of different religions. This is one of the reasons his “This Week In God” was so fantastic on the Daily Show. He may be liberal Catholic but he’s typically really good.
One notable exception, he once had that dickhead from the Catholic League on who made a few very clearly mockworthy statements and failed to mock any of them. Such as “I’m American, I was born in New York. Native Americans aren’t they’re from Asia.”
War against Christmas?
I think people are confusing atheists with Puritans – those good Christians who banned Christmas.
Meanwhile, Christmas is the season for Christians to return to their heathen roots. They cannot suppress their dark urges for trees….
Jeremiah 10
Hear what the LORD says to you, O house of Israel. 2 This is what the LORD says:
“Do not learn the ways of the nations
or be terrified by signs in the sky,
though the nations are terrified by them.
3 For the customs of the peoples are worthless;
they cut a tree out of the forest,
and a craftsman shapes it with his chisel.
4 They adorn it with silver and gold;
they fasten it with hammer and nails
so it will not totter.
Scratch a Christian and you will find a tree-decorating heathen.
>”Don’t make me come over and show you how angels wind up on top of christmas trees!”
They fall backwards while hanging curtains?
Anyway, the Colbert bit was funny. I haven’t quite gotten around to atheist cards but I do carefully select cards without any religious overtones. Sometimes not so easy to find good ones.
Merry Christmyth everyone. [ walks away sipping on a glass of …..al Delight ]
Someone should give Colbert a finch.
Ah, Chris Buttars. I’m unsurprised that he’s fighting the “War on Christmas”. Such a humanitarian piece of shit, he is. He was one of Utah’s most outspoken opponents of gay rights a few years back. He backed a marriage definition ammendment in Utah, and tried to keep the state from even operating domestic partner registries. He also supported intelligent design being taught in schools, and recently called a bill he didn’t like “a black baby–a dark ugly thing.” When called on the carpet, he denied he was racist. I pretty much cringe every time I see his name in the Desperate News*. (*The Deseret News is Utah’s paper owned by the LDS church. The Salt Lake Tribune isn’t, I think, or if it is, it does a better job of avoiding bias than the Desperate News.)
It’s just too bad he’s catholic – I really don’t quite get it.
Eh, many, if not most (in the US) Catholics aren’t exactly fundy about it. I was raised Catholic and considered myself Catholic until my early twenties. When I finally made the break to atheism, it didn’t really affect my social views because I was already pretty liberal and well outside the Catholic orthodoxy. I just stopped worrying that I was gonna go to Hell because of it.
It may be wishful thinking but Colbert and Stewart have said many things that lead me to believe they are both agnostic if not atheists no matter what is published in Wikipedia.
Colbert’s character is staunchly catholic yet much of the show’s satire is derived from the obvious paradox between religious and politically conservative ideologies versus rationalism and a more moderate view of politics à la Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity. Oh, and don’t forget his fear of bears.
…from the obvious paradox between religious and politically conservative ideologies versus rationalism and a more moderate view of politics à la Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity versus, let’s say, Rachel Maddow.
I wholeheartedly agree with Sen. Buttars. Getting trampled to death in a meaningful capitalistic Christmas stampede is far better than getting trampled to death in a meaningless socialist holiday stampede.
Seriously, you don’t have to be an atheist to lampoon a fundamentalist. Colbert’s church if he is indeed a catholic don’t refute evolution and are pretty open minded about other religious beliefs. I’m pretty sure a Catholic would find all these cries of ‘War on Christmas’ absurd nonsense too.
I started a facebook group to send “Happy Holidays” cards to Sen. Buttars. http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=37584444229
There is a solid group of hard working progressive people in Utah, focused mostly in Salt Lake City. Obama actually won Salt Lake County. Problem is it is matched and exceeded in orders of magnitude by loons like Buttars on the other side.
I occasionally wonder about how Colbert is so good at mocking dogma, especially catholic dogma, yet not only is he a practicing catholic, but a sunday school teacher as well. He clearly gives the impression that he knows it’s completely full of crap. I don’t get how an obviously intelligent and reasonably well educated and enlightened individual doesn’t eventually come around to atheism, or at least agnosticism. Maybe someday.
People who do not watch the Colbert Report regularly, often fail to grasp that he is portraying a caricature of a right wing american TV pundit, and take his commentary seriously. Regarding this bit, and as always, he is mocking the stereotype. He’s also certainly allowed to mock atheism.
We should be pleased with the fact that Colbert is a Catholic. We’re always complaining that self-proclaimed “moderate Christians” don’t do enough to take on their fundy brethren.
I guess I’m also uncomfortable with implying that people are lying about their religious beliefs. I don’t like it when theists argue that atheists really do believe in their hearts but are just “mad at God.”
#34 – I saw a holiday card with that on it online somewhere once. Had the pretty tree picture on the outside, that verse on the inside. No idea where I saw it, though.
There was a quote I heard somewhere that goes something like: “There is no better Athiest that I have met than a Catholic.”
Some of the Catholics I know (especially jesuits) are very critical of their own religion and tend not take all the “believe it or die” dogma as literally as baptists, mormons, etc. do. This is true of some Jews I know, too, but mostly Catholics.
I think after a religion reaches a certain age and societal development stage, its followers start to realize how silly and out-of-date its tenets are.
PZ, you simply must start a massive “atheist seasonal card to Colbert” campaign. I want to flood him with sweet heart-warming letters of family atheists.
And finches.
And possibly totally adorable stuffed bears… whahahaha.
Also, will for the love of FSM someone send O’Reilly a fucking panda already?
What Screechy Monkey said at 45. The “HE MUST BE A SECRET AGNOSTIC” stuff is as crazy as a Jack Chick tract, or your greataunt who always tells you that Jesus still loves you and is patiently waiting for you to come back to church.
Colbert is an intelligent man who’s capable of speaking for himself about what his own beliefs are. Why not appreciate his satire of the absurdities people commit in the name of religion without making futile attempts to establish that he’s One of the Club?
Cool. Cobert mocks *everyone*. At least we atheists are not being ignored :)
@becca 48
…
…
…
…
…
…
…does o’reilly really NEED a panda for that activity?
Loved the atheist letter, so funny
I know where Santa lives (Greenland), but where do I send my letter to Darwin? I want a finch too!
I swiped a nice youtube vid from one of the commentators on the Salt lake city paper site comments about the Buttars( Butt tard’s) article. Its Fred Astair and Bing Crosby, singing and dancing to “Happy Holidays”, apparently from the film Holiday Inn: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3k_q_UMI3tQ
Fred was an amazing physical comic
I really shouldn’t laugh so loud at half past two in the morning.
Does that really need to be mocked? Can’t we laugh at it just so?
:-D :-D :-D
Whew! Wow. :-o
:-) :-) :-)
:-) :-) :-)
That Holiday Inn video might make a nice one for a Holiday collection I found it on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Holiday-Inn-Special-Bing-Crosby/dp/B000I0QL82/ref=sr_1_11?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1228355142&sr=8-11
Colbert is awesome. C’mon guys this was funny! ;-)
Though of course I’m sure all Colbert fans realize that alas he is sadly quite the committed theist, regularly attending church and teaching Sunday school. I’d sit through that class!
Buttars made Olbermann’s “worst person in the world” for this. Well done all around I say.
Mocking the athiests!? Oh, the intolerance!
The Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me segment (see #25) is worth listening to. It’s not so often you get to hear Stephen out of character. The host makes Stephen laugh with his comment that Stephen Colbert is “the most infallible source of information outside the Pope, and inside the Pope you can’t get good TV reception.”
Did anyone see this card? Did they do it especially for PZ?
http://www.cafepress.com/orderofstnick.328195050
Colbert is very educated, and also very educated in catholic tenets. He does not follow them though. He has said in rather serious interviews (Charlie Rose and others IIRC) that he does it for the cultural part of it or some such things. I don’t think he’s a theist.
Someone (maybe Rose) even asked him if he tells his kids about hell, and he said no.
Andyo,
Maybe you’re right. I remember reading a few years ago that Colbert goes to Mass daily? I can’t find evidence to corroborate that this morning though. All I could find is that he teaches Sunday school and was his daughter’s teacher. That he’s careful when mocking religion to mock what people do in the name of religion and not the religion itself. If you could find evidence to the contrary that would be great.
@Enshoku (#51)- No. O’Reilly does not need an anything for such an activity. Eww, ewww. EWW.
Although technically, the world needs more fucking pandas. Perhaps sending him two fucking pandas would be good for pandas. Being able to actually identify a fucking panda would be good for Billo.
Ugh, how embarrassing for us people in Utah with a brain. As if it’s not bad enough listening to all the Hannitards spew their latest spoon-fed propaganda, we have representatives like Buttars. I take solace in the fact that when my children are old enough they can tell all of their peers (who’s parents probably voted for Buttars) that Santa isn’t real and their parents are lying to them.
Stephen Colbert is hilarious. I loved the way he portrayed us. It’s all good fun.