OK, Florida, this has gone far enough. You’ve been dallying with creationism, and I’ve read enough Hiaasen novels (who knew those were non-fiction?) to see that there are many screws loose down there, but this is getting ridiculous. Look at this reason for firing a teacher.
Substitute teacher Jim Piculas does a 30-second magic trick where a toothpick disappears then reappears.
But after performing it in front of a classroom at Rushe Middle School in Land ‘O Lakes, Piculas said his job did a disappearing act of its own.
“I get a call the middle of the day from head of supervisor of substitute teachers.ï£° He says, ‘Jim, we have a huge issue, you can’t take any more assignments you need to come in right away,'” he said.
When Piculas went in,ï£°he learned his little magic trick cast a spell and went much farther than he’d hoped.
“I said, ‘Well Pat, can you explain this to me?’ï£° ‘You’ve been accused of wizardry,’ [he said]. Wizardry?” he asked.
I’m calling Poe’s Law on the whole state of Florida. That place is entirely made up, isn’t it? I’ve been to Miami several times, but now I’m beginning to suspect that it’s actually a giant theme park set up on one of the Caribbean islands. It’s not really there.
I should have been clued in by the amusingly penile shape of the state drooping off our southern shores. That’s made-up, isn’t it? Right from the geography, it’s got to be one big joke a bunch of 16th century Spaniards were pulling on the whole rest of the world.
Well, the joke is over. It’s finally gone too far. No one could possibly be as loony as these fictitious (I’m sure) school administrators. Can we get around to correcting the maps and pulling those phony senators and representatives out of the federal government now?