But … unicorns are real!

How unfair that The Unicorn Museum would be compared to Ken Ham’s “Museum” — everyone knows creationism is fake, but unicorns, because they are so lovely and sweet and happy and phallic, must be real.

This is very serious. The proprietors want to put up a billboard to compete with the Creation “Museum’s”, and you can vote and donate. I would love to see unicorns praised over goofy Australian nutcases.


  1. Brian says

    PZ: “I would love to see unicorns praised over goofy Australian nutcases.”
    That’s right PZ, shatter my dreams of being praised. Just ’cause I’m goofy and Ozzie……

  2. Munoz says

    Yeah I am going to go ahead and not donate. What a waste of money, it is not like they are going to get appreciation from the religious community for this. I predict appreciaition from six year old girls.

  3. MikeinJapan says

    Are we going to sell Canadian slaves in the gift shop? If so I’ll take 3. kthnxbai

  4. pablo says

    Unicorns exist but on another planet. They were wished into existence by an eight year-old gay boy named Shannon.

  5. jeffox backtrollin' says

    I once met an adult female who ranted that unicorns were real. I asked her if she’d ever actually seen one of those “dildo-horsies”. Boy, did she get pissed.

  6. ben says

    I was 15, I was in France, a group of us talking about this and that and me trying to spoof my French friends that my uncle kept 150 head of piebald unicorn on his demesne in Wicklow.

    Chantal, who had sloe-dark eyes and was 17 and made my heart beat faster, said something to the effect of the unicorn not being a real animal that exists.

    I argued my case — and all crimes against the French language commited here are my responsibility, of course.

    “Mais s’ils n’existent pas, porquoi ont-ils un nom?”

    Iron-clad logic I thought. [But, if they don’t exist, how come there’s a name for them?]

    “Sont beaucoup des choses qui ont un nom mais n’existent pas!”

    A confident rebuttal [Lots of things don’t exist, but we have names for them]

    “Comme quoi?” I asked her. [Like what]


    And my heart stood still.

  7. JohnF says

    But the Invisible Pink Unicorn, She that raptures socks, may Her holy hooves never be shod, is really real, and our protector against the Purple Oyster of Doom.

  8. One Eyed Jack says

    That site brings up a good point.

    Unicorns are mentioned 8 or 9 times in the KJ version of the Bible. Where are the unicorns at the Cretin museum?


  9. One Eyed Jack says

    Very possible, Mike.

    They were probably goofing off at candy mountain.


  10. CalGeorge says

    Special Guest Appearance by the IPU CANCELLED


    I will never give another DIME to that scumbag museum!

  11. says

    There really were unicorns…
    It’s just that they were the giant pigs of the genus Kubanochoerus, and not cloven-hoofed horses.

  12. Rey Fox says

    “Unicorns are mentioned 8 or 9 times in the KJ version of the Bible. Where are the unicorns at the Cretin museum?”

    Not displayed. Ken Ham doesn’t want to look SILLY, you know.

  13. says

    PZ, I’m glad that you enjoyed our site. We had a lot of fun putting it together. We respect the Unicorns and other mythical beasts, and think that they too deserve to have their stories told.

    We really do hope to put up an actual billboard somewhere near the Creation Museum. That’s no joke. So, if anyone reading this lives in Kentucky and has a contact at a billboard company, please let me know!

    Markus (#7), all the billboard artwork is user submitted, and not spellchecked or altered by us in any way other than what is needed to fit it into the webpage. Sorry if the misspell offends you. Louis (#14), as far a I am aware, no artwork was “stolen” in the creation of the billboards on the site. Thanks for keeping an eye out for us.

    Thanks, PZ, for posting about the site. Much appreciated.

  14. David Harmon says

    As of about 10 years ago, there was a prominent Neo-Pagan named Otter G’Zell, who was reputedly raising a herd of unicorns out West. (Hint: Some types of goats have straight horns — and at birth, the horn buds are’nt attached to the bone!) (What, you wanted them to breed true? ;-) )

  15. says

    Glad you guys are enjoying the site, I’m part of the TWIS team that put it together. Wanted to let you guys know that we finally got the Unicorn Musuem Store working properly and you can now get unicorn schwag at cost from CafePress.

    Thanks for mentioning the site PZ!

  16. Justin Moretti says

    The existence of unicorns, with the implication that they are not as yet a threatened or endangered species, has been adequately reported for some time (Hagrid R, Potter HJ, Firenze 1991). Whether the crumple-horned Snorkack represents a subspecies or early divergence has not yet been settled, partially because of a lack of successful sightings (Lovegood X, Lovegood L, 1995 and Lovegood L, Scamander R, in press), and partially because of confusion in classification between the Snorkack horn and that of the Erumpent in the first place (Granger HJ, 1998).

    When will people ever learn?

  17. says

    I feel like apologising on behalf of Australia for Ken Ham… but then you guys have some apologising yourselves for plenty of other numbnuts… Kirk Cameron comes to mind. ha.

  18. James says

    Hello (#14) Louis, I designed a number of the Unicorn Billboards – Noah’s Ark, Cyborg Unicorn and Holy Writ.
    I am a professional designer and I have not stolen artwork. I have gone to great lengths to source the artwork that I have used and obtain the required copyright clearance. If you can detail your concerns I am happy to clarify the copyright arrangements under which this imagery has been used.
    Regards James

  19. chelsea says

    I think unicorns are real there is so mutch proof there all around us but know one look close enouth

    from chelsea mcveigh aged 12