Wesley has the story, and you can get more details from Toledo TV news story and a Cincinnati Enquirer article — but the silly news is that one of the models for the Creation “Museum’s” Adam was a fellow named Eric Linden, who was associated with a site called the Bedroom Acrobat. The “Museum’s” video with Linden has been yanked, and Linden himself seems to be rushing to dissociate himself from the naughty web site, claiming now that he only bought the domain name.
I say there is nothing wrong with running a site about sexual activities; Linden should not be ashamed of it; it is disgraceful that Answers in Genesis should be so puritanical and sex negative that they don’t even want to use a short clip of someone merely known to have had sex; and if Adam had been real rather than a fictitious, mythical character, he probably would have been quite the bedroom acrobat himself, since he would have had to have fathered the entire human race.
I think the Creation “Museum” should bring back the video and increase the coverage of the Adam and Eve story. If they want to keep their visitorship up, I have a suggestion: more full frontal nudity, with an unabashed and open display of the importance of sexual activity in God’s fertile creation. And if attendance starts to flag, I have a two-word term for a bold plan that would grab the media’s attention again: animatronic genitalia. When Adam first meets Eve, a roar and a <sproingggg!> would be perfectly appropriate.
It would be OK, since it’s all in the Bible. I mean, if “dinosaur” is in there, I’m sure “erection” is too.
I’m surprise they haven’t burned Linden at the stake for enjoying sexuality.
If only he were a common thief and a liar like Ken Ham, they’d find no moral fault with him.
Giving a whole new spin to Original Sin…
Sweet, lets get a full on video of The Song of Solomon!
It’s terribly amusing how they eat their own, isn’t it?
Solomon would be weird. A literalist version of “Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies” would be interesting.
That line, by the way, really messed up my head when I was a young boy and saw Bambi, not to mention what I imagined women had under their bras.
“When Adam first meets Eve, a roar and a ‘sproingggg’ would be perfectly appropriate”
Actually it’s “sccchhwwwing!”
We’re gonna need a bigger fig leaf.
I searched the King James Bible online. Neither of the words erection nor dinosaur appear in this version. Behemoth appears once, in Job 40, but is explicitly mentioned as a grass eater. Leviathan appears 5 times, but seems to be a sea dweller, and so could not be a terrestrial dinosaur. Oddness.
Maybe they use a euphemism for erection; like when Mary got pregnant they didn’t write “knocked up” but instead said she was “with child.”
I did not know that Adam was “white/European”.
Maybe, they need to screen their actors like they do with their scientists.
My two cents worth: have the movie made by Mike Meyers.
Oh, hey…you just need to interpret it properly. “Leviathan”, of course, refers to an erection. “Behemoth”, too, but those kinky grass-molesters are best ignored.
Please tell me the drag queen is named Steve.
Robin Williams’ take on the “Madam, I’m Adam” scene: “Stand back Eve, I don’t know how big this thing gets!”
Ezekiel 23:20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
Close enough…..
Great. Just great. I worked hard for years to get “The Begat” (from Finnian’s Rainbow) out of my head, and now it’s back.
*sigh*
“Maybe they use a euphemism for erection”
Tree of Life?
Reginald,
I went much further than that, and it only gets funnier.
On a lighter note:
Not to mention the real serpent in the Garden of Eden.
“Maybe they use a euphemism for erection”
The thing is chock fun of rods and staffs.
As I recall, the bible uses two formulations to describe coitis. One is the one we all know – “know”. Adam knew Eve, and the pervs of Sodom wanted to know Lot’s guests.
The thing is, though, “know” is a rather unhelpfully literal translation of a word which generally meant “possess” or “control” or “subdue”. So when Adam knew Eve, he wasn’t just impregnating her, he was subduing her too. And the Pervs of Sodom (which ought to be the name of a band) probably didn’t have sex in mind at all – more ritual humilation.
As for the other way the bible talks about sex, it’s found in passages like “He gazed upon her and desired to go on ino her” and “He went on into her and she bore him a son”. It’s always a son, by the way.
Numad, No wonder everybody wants to control the Hole-ly land.
badumdum
… in a further development the landscaping around the ‘museum’ will be torn up and replaced with gravel because one of the illegal workers hired to do the planting admitted to masturbating at least once.
What? The horror! the horror!
Then again, how bad could he have been? If was truly illegal he probably wasn’t paying any taxes, which should have endeared him to the creationists.
“Give unto Caesar….” was a NT typo.
AiG should take a cue from Disneyland, where they have famous characters actually walking among the crowds. Adam an Eve, in their pre-fall attire, would be a huge draw. If they wanted to demonstrate their innocent bliss with each other or with visitors, so much the better.
Behemoth’s “tail” wasn’t a tail…
I think Adam’s genitalia should be visible and obvious as an object lesson for the youngsters.
After all—“He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD…” (Deuteronomy 23:1-2)
Does anybody have a copy of the clip with Eric as Adam? It would be nice to see it…
If this was evolutionarily accurate, Adam’s junk should be smaller than my junk.
PZ Myers wrote:
Maybe they can edit in a cameo with Lilith for some extra excitement.
Wouldn’t the IDists and other fundies be shocked at what they don’t know about their mythology….
whoa…that would be some serious re-interpretation of the story!
“If this was evolutionarily accurate, Adam’s junk should be smaller than my junk.”
I don’t know bout that. This is mythology, so it should be…well…of mythic proportions.
Um… “With wood”?
You people should be ashamed of yourselves. Jumping on a story like this, making fun of Adam and Eve’s genitalia, and partaking in crude scatological jokes. You’re giving atheists a bad name. The Christians will be pointing at you and saying things like “Look at them! Didn’t we tell you? They have no sense of decency, no morals.”
Keep up the good work.
The Spanish Inquisitor was right – you shouldn’t be making fun of the prudes.
Don’t you know that if God had wanted us to be naked he would have created us that way!
You’re right, God! No sense of decency whatsover. Let’s see, what topics have been covered?
*Getting your dad drunk and fucking him, then having your sister do it too
*Sending your daughter out to be gang-raped, and being lauded for it
*Being in gay love with your best friend, the current prince, but then killing his father so you can take over
*Forcing a married woman to fuck you, getting her pregnant, then killing her husband to cover it up
*Writing an entire poem about how much you want to fuck someone
*Whores. Lots and lots of whores. Can’t stop talking about the whores.
Wow, that’s terrible! Oh, wait, that was all in the Bible, not these threads.
He comments in mysterious ways! Hallelujah!
Funny how ‘all forms of decency’ exclude making fun of one particular ancient text.
You’re welcome! You and I go way back, God, so even though I’m playing for the other team now, I’m glad to help out any time I can.
All can be said to prove His point, for His point is whatever He defines it to be! Hallelujah!
Bible = one particular ancient text.
You omnipotent silly head.
So, we’re wrong to make fun of Adam’s junk, because it was actually pretty decent?…
Making fun of the Bible is also a lack of sense of decency.
But I wasn’t making fun of it. That was more like a table of contents. I just left out all of the mass murders ordered by You, just to be nice.
If for some reason you’ve forgotten that was what you wrote, I can provide citations. You know what you say, can’t just cherrypick the nice lovey parts, what with the “And if anyone takes words away from this book of prophecy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book” bit.
How am I making fun of it when I’m simply describing it as written?
People often enter the sex industry as a result of having an abusive father.
You’re forgetting that before the Fall, Adam & Eve’s equipment was just anticipatory design, like the fangs and claws on those leaf-eating lions and allosaurs.
So wait, the Inquisitor’s serious? Why’d s/he pick that name?
Good call on the tail, Ray C. That bit in the original post was funnier than y’all seemed to realize. Apparently the “behemoth” passage that people use as an example of dinosaurs in the Bible not only means something else, it uses ‘mighty tail’ as a euphemism. This comes from Pennock’s Tower of Babel: the evidence against the new creationism.
horribin, that depends who you ask. Augustine seems to say they could have sex as long as it was no fun. You know, like these people.
It’s funny that the author drags up AiG’s “Arguments we think Creationist’s shouldn’t use.”
I had to go re-read it. The weaseling around on that page is truly awe inspiring. My favorite is that 2Lot was around before the Fall, but when Adam and Eve ate that apple, God removed his “sustaining power.”
I need to hire those guys to make up excuses for me to miss work.
“But Marge! Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.”
Maybe the video could do a new interpretation of the origin of “The Mountain of Foreskins.”
They probably picked him because he has such extensive experience with unrealistic storylines.
I want to know who told on this guy. Obviously one of them fundamentalist christians must have visited his web site, spent some time there (for research purposes only I’m sure), in order to recognize him in the film playing Adam.
I think you all have misunderstood the whole situation. It’s just a live reenactment of the fall! Erics denial of the whole story and the museum directors throwing him out is a mighty symbol.
Thanks for the news btw, it was great fun!
(AIP) Answers in Porn.
http://thestubborncurmudgeon.blogspot.com
There was a somewhat competing exhibition at the Neanderthal Museum (indeed this is a real museum) about 100,000 years of sex:
From Spiegel online:
You will find the article here:
http://www.spiegel.de/international/0,1518,464002,00.html
Don’t miss the pictures. I really like #11 in which the Neanderthal guy appears as if he’s just had it.
If Creation “Museum” doesn’t pay off, Kent Ham has an expert aboard who can develop it into something like the Korean theme park Love Land.
Details can be found here:
http://www.spiegel.de/international/spiegel/0,1518,431224,00.html
i like how, as reported here, he said
“For the Creation Museum, I did what I did as an actor. It doesn’t necessarily mean I believe in evolution or a believe in creation,” Linden said. “I’m hired to get a point across. On the flip side, if I was hired to play a murderer, that doesn’t mean I’d go out and kill somebody. It’s make-believe.”
haha. make believe! he done got those creationists good!!
They’ve got one of those in Montreal’s Biodome. There’s a giant snail mockup that if caressed in just the right way will jab you with its penis. Nonhomologous to be sure, but who’s picky?
“Animatronic Genitalia” would be an amazing name for a band. Ooh, better: the backup band, in classic billing style. “Ladies and gentlemen, Steve Wright and his Animatronic Genitalia!”
Closer to the topic at hand, one of the higher-ups at the museum probably just googled the guy’s name. Y’know those church signs that read ‘When Google fails, god knows the answers?’ Implicit in that is ‘Try Google first.’
Quite a lot of the phrasing in the bible is euphemistic. I think the usual phrase for copulation is “he came in unto her” (although they say that when the angel arrives to talk to Mary, too); “smote him in the thigh” is “kicked him in the testicles;” “put his hand on this thigh and swore [that that something was true]” was “swore on his balls” or “testified;” and in the Song of Solomon, the “navel that flows with white and red wine” is, pretty obviously, the vagina.
I like your comments, Carlie. Growing up, one of my favorite things to watch was an afterschool special based on the Nat Henthoff book The Day They Came to Arrest the Book. The basic plot of the book is that an African-American high school student and his father attempt to get Huck Finn removed from the classroom because of the liberal use of the word “nigger” throughout.
At the climax of the afterschool special, the librarian attends the board meeting on the issue and informs the group that she’s come across an even worse book in the library. She goes on to describe an extremely graphic rape and murder. Everyone’s absolutely horrified and outraged that such a book would be in their high school library. Then she drops her bomb: the scene was in the Book of Judges in the Bible. Awesome!
See my blog, specifically, the “About the Inquisitor” page.
Or I could just tell you. :) The name comes from Monty Python. I’m a he.
And no, I was not serious.