I honestly don’t know what to do with my fellow white people. We… I… we’re really just doing the most, aren’t we? Are we like… determined to be seen as literally the worst?
I’ve already done this once, back in March, but clearly we white people want to make this a series. I should have been paying more attention, honestly, because I know I missed a lot, and, in fact, I’m starting off with something that happened a little ways back in the past, in April, when Starbucks got caught out…
Y’all remember the story, right? Philadelphia Starbucks, two black men came in early for a business meeting, decided to hang out, the white-as-hell manager decided she was gonna call the cops on them because she’s racist…
Two black men were arrested and escorted out of a Philadelphia Starbucks on Thursday after staff called the police to report they refused to leave; the men hadn’t ordered anything and were reportedly waiting for a business associate to arrive. The staff reportedly called 911 because Starbucks does “not allow nonpaying people from the public to come in and use the restroom,” Philadelphia Police Commissioner Richard Ross told the Philadelphia Inquirer. The employees said the men were trespassing and had refused to leave the restaurant.
The men were not trespassing and Starbucks does allow nonpaying customers to use the bathrooms. I’ve never had any trouble using Starbucks bathrooms without buying anything…
I can’t figure out why that would be, though…
Like… it’s so strange why those two men would be arrested for using a Starbucks bathroom, but I can just waltz in and use one…
Oh… oh I get it now…
Of course Starbucks “apologized”, with the CEO wanting to “meet” the two men. You know Kevin, buddy, pal… I don’t know that that’s a good idea. You may just want to… you know… pay them, and leave them alone.
‘Cause… you know Starbucks is gonna have to pay out on this. These two men sued both Starbucks and Philadelphia. They settled with the city for $1 each, because that was more about raising awareness. But Starbucks better make them millionaires (if they want it, obviously), in my humble opinion.
So that’s Starbucks, but oh it doesn’t end there. For white people, it never does. Let’s travel up north a ways, to Connecticut (hey! My birth state!) and Yale University.
So let’s say you’re walking into your dorm building, and you see a student sleeping on one of the public couches. What do you do?
Personally, I’m the type of person to chuckle to myself, think “you know what, I know how they feel. Heck… I’m tired enough right now I’m not sure if I’m gonna make it to my bed” and then… you know… move on with my bad self.
But I guess, when you’re racist, what you are going to do is…
Because it is, apparently, a terrible horrible crime for a black woman to be sleeping on a couch in a dorm that she lives in while attending the very college that owns said dorms.
According to the Yale Daily News, African studies graduate student Lolade Siyonbola said that while studying in her dormitory’s common area, she fell asleep. Siyonbola was then awakened by a white graduate student named as Sarah Braasch.
Braasch told Siyonbola that she could not sleep in the common area, and threatened to call the police, according to videos posted by Siyonbola.
“I have every right to call the police,” Braasch can be seen telling Siyonbola. “You cannot sleep in that room.”
Multiple white police officers arrived soon after and began questioning Siyonbola. In an effort to convince the officers that she was a resident, she unlocked her door in front of the officers to show she lived there after they insisted on seeing her I.D.
By the way… that white women? She’s done this before.
In March, Siyonbola and another black student, Jean-Louis Reneson, submitted a complaint about a separate incident also involving Braasch, the Yale Daily News reported.
The incident occurred after Siyonbola invited several colleagues, including Reneson, to the same residence hall on Feb. 24 for a meeting in the common room.
Reneson, who got lost inside the building, was physically blocked by Braasch from entering the common room and accused him of being an intruder, according to the complaint.
“Feeling ignored, I went down to base of the twelfth floor and eleventh floor and turned my back, but she continued to verbally assault me from the twelfth floor, claiming that I ‘didn’t belong here’ and I was making her ‘uncomfortable,” Reneson told Yale Daily.
1) Yale, you need to expel Sarah Braasch.
2) Sarah, you need to go back home to your KKK family and find a Mighty White school. Does the KKK have a university? I have a feeling you’ll feel more comfortable there.
What’s that? You have a black friend?
Bullshit. I literally don’t believe you. The last black person you called the cops on doesn’t count.
Actually, there’s a third thing… a question I think Yale really needs to answer…
“I don’t remember receiving any sort of apology from her the first time, and this time the email was very vague, just not decisive, it just wasn’t direct with what the actual issues are,” [Siyonbola] told Yale’s student newspaper.
“Do you want black students at Yale or do you not want black students at Yale? If you do, then be very clear about taking decisive action so incidents do not continue to happen.”
I feel like Yale and Starbucks need to take the same class on diversity and how to definitively deal with racism.
But I’m not done!
Yet another white person called cops on black people! This one happened out in Oakland, California and, frankly, is almost funny.
So two black men are in a park, grilling a great picnic over some nice charcoal (don’t get me wrong… gas and electric grills are great, but nothing beats charcoal and/or wood grilling… that flavor!). A white woman sees them, calls the cops, ends up on video and… starts crying.
Oh those White Woman Tears…
On 11 May 2018, the Facebook page for media company NowThis News published a clip showing what it described as a white woman calling the police on a largely black group of people grilling at a park in Oakland, California
A far longer version of the video was shared to YouTube on 29 April 2018, showing a lengthier interaction
In total, witnesses said, the woman was at the site of the barbecue for two hours, waiting for a police response.
Now there is a surprising twist to this one…
The cops… actually did the right thing! They sided with the family that was BBQing! They said that everything was fine, it was a permitted BBQing area, there’s nothing wrong with it. And that’s good!
Now, what I will point out is that a lot of people on Twitter claim to have identified the woman. So… this is interesting for me. I first heard about this particular phenomenon from Rod and Keren Morrow of the Black Guy Who Tips. They called it Black Twitter CSI, and created a theme song and everything (seriously… if you aren’t listening to TBGWT… what is wrong with you? You don’t know what you’re missing!). Basically what happens is that video of some white person being super racist hits the social medias, and then Black Twitter CSI comes around and, yes, basically doxxes said person.
Now, here’s my conundrum. On the one hand, I do believe that doxxing is wrong. It has been used in the past to silence feminists, terrify people, ruin people’s lives, and so on. It is a horrible weapon.
On the other hand, though… fuck these racist assholes. They deserve to be fired. They deserve to be shamed. They deserve to have all their shit thrust into the sunlight for all to see. We should know who each and every racist is. I’ve made it clear in the past that I want to live in a world where racists are quite literally too afraid of society to leave their homes. I do not want racists (like these white assholes) roaming our streets, making them less safe for people of color.
The problem comes in when Black Twitter CSI (or anyone doing this work) gets it wrong. They identify the wrong person, and that person, who is innocent, gets screwed over. So… that whole thing is a double-edged sword and yeah… I really don’t know how I feel about it.
And this woman wasn’t the only white person investigated by Black Twitter CSI.
More recently, a white d00d in Manhattan lost his racist mind when, at a take-out restaurant, he heard an employee speaking Spanish with a customer…
A Facebook video that went viral on Wednesday shows a New York lawyer going off on a racist tirade and threatening to call immigration authorities—all because women at a lunch chain were speaking Spanish.
“Every person I listen to—he’s speaking it, she’s speaking it. This is America,” shouted the man, who has been identified by the Forward as Aaron Schlossberg, owner of a Manhattan law firm.
Gothamist reported that the video, originally posted by Edward Suazo, was filmed at a Fresh Kitchen in Manhattan. Suazo wrote on the post that his wife and her friend were speaking Spanish with the cashier when Schlossberg went off and threatened to call Immigration and Customs Enforcement.
“Your clients and your staff are speaking Spanish to staff when they should be speaking English…” Schlossberg says to a manager in the video. “My guess is they’re undocumented, so my next call is to ICE to have each one of them taken out of my country. If they have the balls to come here and live off my money—I pay for their welfare. I pay for their ability to be here.”
This supreme secret member of the KKK straight up threatened to call ICE. I’m not sure which is worse… calling the cops on a black person or calling ICE on an immigrant who isn’t white. I mean, the things can’t really be compared; they are both horrible and at best will get someone arrested, at worst could get them killed. So really, they’re equal. But regardless… we white people really need to let go of the emergency numbers for a while, I think. Let’s not be the ones calling law enforcement agencies, especially on people of color… that’s no longer up to us.
This guy was indeed identified, BTW, and he and his private practice were entirely kicked out of the building where he was renting office space. Note how he goes out of his way to ignore reporters…
Yeah buddy. That’s all you can do, now. I would suggest leaving New York entirely brosky… brociferous… brofasaurus rex. I think… maybe… deep south Georgia would be more your speed? Then you could put up that Confederate flag I know you got stashed in your New York apartment. And I’ll bet you’ll just have so much fun representing Neo-Nazis.
Is Richard Spencer looking for a lawyer? Probably not… he’s probably too busy getting punched in the face (that never gets old!).
We white people really strive to make the world go round… and round… and round… and round… until it’s completely down the drain. We just can’t let this fucking go. Cops, ICE… they’re our personal weapons against people of color.
Look, let’s be completely honest, here… we know what calling these people will do. We’re completely aware of it. It’s what we fucking want to happen. Every single time a white person picks up the phone to call 911, just look at the person they’re accusing… said person is definitely a person of color, and most likely black. And that white person knows that calling 911 means that black person may very well be killed… that’s the whole fucking point.
And it’s infuriating.
And if we head back out to California, this time Rialto, we see a situation that got a lot closer to the way this usually goes (although, thankfully, nobody was murdered or got arrested)…
Three black women (and a white woman, but notice her absence from this story… and no, that is not a commentary on this particular white woman… you’ll see what I mean) were checking out of an Airbnb, putting their luggage in their car when…
Earlier this week, three black Airbnb guests checked out of their rental only to be met by seven police cars.
Attorneys for the guests said a woman who called Rialto, California, authorities said she made the call because the departing guests didn’t wave to her or smile at her.
The three black guests — Kelly Fyffe-Marshall, Donisha Prendergast and Komi-Oluwa Olafimihan — were also traveling with a fourth guest, who is a white woman. But according to the their attorneys, the neighbor only told police about three suspicious black people. Police previously said the caller was an elderly white woman.
“And that should have been automatic evidence to them that this issue, this call was racially motivated by this woman,” [attorney Jasmine] Rand said.
The group checked out of their Airbnb on April 30, and were dragging their luggage to their car when police showed up and told them to put their hands in the air. They tried to explain to officers that they were renting an Airbnb, but officers didn’t believe them, and detained them for between 20 and 45 minutes, Rand said.
Fyffe-Marshall said she’d seen the neighbor watching them, but didn’t see her wave or smile. She and Pendergrast joked the neighbor was going to call the police on them, she said.
Like… how do you do that? How do you think that’s okay? The local PD of course claimed that their police “acted appropriately”. Fuck that noise. 7 cop cars for 4 people (yes, 4… notice how their white friend is kept out of the narrative by the police and the racist woman who called the cops on them… and we know why that is), is not “acting appropriately”. It’s disproportionate and absurd!
And oh god I could go on… the white woman who called the cops on two Native American teens on a college tour, or the golf course that called the cops on a group of black women for “playing too slow” (what does that even mean?!?), or the LA Fitness that racially profiled a member and his friend, two black men…
But… I want to end this with a twist. I mean… it’s a similar twist to the BBQ story above, but this one twists so much in an awesome direction you’ll be left wondering where these cops even came from…
Let’s finish today’s post in Memphis, Tennessee. Our protagonist is a black man named Michael Hayes. He’s a real estate investor and inspector, and was out that day in a little suburb quite literally doing his job. He had the keys to the house, given to him by the owner (the one who lived in the house and wanted to sell it), documents from the Real Estate Agency selling the house showing that Michael had cause to be there, and all of that wonderful stuff.
Now let’s meet our antagonist, a white woman named… uh… she’s unidentified… so let’s just call her… Karen. She’s a neighbor of the for-sale house. So Karen comes out of her house and confronts our hero. He’s a happy person, personable, friendly… so he’s happy to engage, show the proof that he’s supposed to be there, and all that. But our villain… our Karen… you know what she’s thinking, right?
“Today I’m gonna be the white savior this suburb deserves!”
So what did she do? If you said “she called the police“, you would obviously be right. And no, you don’t win a damn thing, because duh… of course she called the police. If you didn’t get that, then I don’t know what to say… it’s literally the only answer. There’s no other option.
In a video posted to YouTube earlier this month, Michael Hayes, a real estate investor in Memphis, Tenn., went to a house that was in desperate need of a fixing up to inspect it. It was at that point, he said, that a woman came out of a neighboring house demanding to know what he was doing. Ever affable, Hayes said that he readily showed the woman his investment contract, which showed that he had permission to work on the house, as well as the written permission he received from the homeowner.
Karenthe unidentified woman wouldn’t be swayed and called the police anyway.
The police did indeed show up, but here’s a little trickier question… how did the police handle it?
If you said “they arrested him” or “they shot him dead”, you would… surprisingly… be wrong.
Thankfully, in this case, the police were quick to call the woman out on her bullshit and defended Hayes’ right to be there.
“You keep the camera rolling. If you have any problems with her, what I want you to do is call me back over here,” a white male officer reassures Hayes. “She will go to jail for that.”
The woman says something that sounds like, “I’m friends with the sheriff,” but the same officer shuts her down.
“I don’t care if you’re friends with the president,” he snaps. “You’re going to let him do what he’s going to do. If you try to do anything to stop him, I’m going to take you to jail.”
“Hurry up, do it and get out!” the woman sneers in Hayes’ direction.
Again, the cops were not having it.
“No, no. He can take his time,” a female officer chimes in.
“He can take all day,” the male officer agrees.
At Hayes’ request, and after he voiced his own discomfort, the officers agree to stick around while he takes pictures of the property to ensure his safety.
Toward the end of the video, Hayes thanks the officers for sticking up for him in light of Karen’s madness.
Okay seriously… did these cops stumble in here from an alternate universe, and just don’t know how things work?
Honestly? I hope so, and I hope they aren’t forced to find out. I would be far more trusting of the police if they were all like that. The thing is though… what is it some people say? There’s no such thing as a good cop. These two… either they have skeletons they’re trying to make up for, they knew about this ahead of time and had no choice but to take his side, they saw that he was filming and decided to be good, or… best case… they are truly as good as the video makes them seem… which means they aren’t long for the force. The sad reality is that genuinely good cops don’t stay cops for long. They get drummed out one way or the other… because they cross that Thin Blue Line and actually try to do good… and the US Police Force can’t be having any of that…
Or… or maybe this man just found one of the rare PDs that is, truly, good. And that… that would be something, y’all.
And regardless, still, it’s a damn good ending to a story that, really, was more likely going to end the other way.
Listen white people… we really have to do better. This is just… it’s embarrassing! But… as long as we keep it up, I’m going to keep doing these posts (please keep me updated with news stories of white people calling the cops on black people for the crime of existing while black, or otherwise being racist).
And I’m going to end each one from here on out with a question that just… perplexes me…
Why is whiteness? Just… just why?