So, a quick recap of where we are: The next presidential administration and the Republicans in congress and state governments across the nation are comprised of despicable human beings who deserve nothing but scorn, mockery and exile from the company of decent people everywhere. Instead, they have been handed unprecedented power, and fully intend to use it to gleefully unleash wanton destruction on the country, the planet, and the lives of millions, perhaps billions, of people, as well as unfathomable numbers of other species. That about sum it up? Mkay.
If you’re like me, for the past week you’ve probably been asking yourself “What could possibly be worse?” Well guess what. Our true enemies have a little something extra in store for us, a rancid, oozing cherry, if you will, to plunk down right on top of this colossal shit sundae we’re eating. I refer, of course, to the fucking squirrels.
For in addition to infecting us with the Black Plague, scientists have recently discovered that the enemy rodents’ biological weapons arsenal also includes…leprosy.
LEPROSY! As in, you know, terrible nerve damage and skin deformities inflicted by a just and loving god as punishment for sin? I seem to remember something about that Jeezus character running around magically “healing” the lepers, who were otherwise doomed to exile because of their god-given disfigurement. Which I guess was nice of him and all, but as far as I can tell he never did or said a single goddamn thing about the evil rodents that have cursed humanity ever since.
Anyway. I read about the leper squirrels in The Atlantic, and I have a couple major issues with the article. First of all, check out the headline: Surprise! British Red Squirrels Carry Leprosy.
Second, lead researcher Anna Meredith was asked whether the leper squirrels could pass the disease to humans, and here is what she said: “It’s not impossible, but there’s no evidence that we’re at risk. We’re more concerned about the squirrels.”