People, I just don’t know what to make of this. Normally, my food conforms to certain standards of behavior. I insist on this, in fact. But this little fucker appeared in the middle of my appetizer, trying to pass itself off as just another delicious fried calamari. Well. I am not having any of that.

There is quite clearly something on my plate that is hiding in a fried calamari costume. I realize this is the Halloween season and all, but this is not okay. Its resemblance to a space suit is hardly lost on my keen eyes, but of course the possibility of squirrel fuckery is never far from my thoughts either.

Wait… are squirrels from space? Are the cephalopods in cahoots with them?

OMFG.

Obviously what’s called for here is some serious, thoughtful skepticism. And another martini. And some cocktail sauce.