None of these are mine, they’re others’ observations posted online and collected:
It’s like the exact opposite of that pokemon go summer.
Eighth day of isolation and it’s like Vegas in my house. We’re losing money by the minute, cocktails are acceptable at any hour, and nobody knows what time it is.
I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to change my netflix password so my ex can’t use it anymore. It really doesn’t get any better than a national lockdown.
Night 1 of no sports: My wife and I just had an hour long conversation. She’s really nice, and apparently she works in the medical field. Also, TVs are black when they are off.
Friend: How’s self isolation going?
Me: Pretty good, no human contact in a week.
Friend: Coronavirus is tough, right?
Coronavirus: the biggest game of cooties I’ve ever seen in my life.
Someday our kids will have kids. Those kids will complain that they’re bored and have nowhere to go. So our kids will tell them about the time they couldn’t leave their house for a month because of a pandemic.
This is our kids’ “two mile walk uphill in a snowstorm” moment.
Day 4 of social distancing: Struck up a conversation with a spider. Seems nice. He’s a web designer.
Saw a neighbor scraping “My kid is a terrific student” off her car. I guess homeschooling isn’t going well.