To your husband, affirmation from you is everything. Do it frequently.
Several of these tweets reveal how far the culture of entitlement goes beyond sexual entitlement. They show the extent to which many men’s sense of self worth is dependent on women’s constant affirmations. We’re encouraged not only never to disparage men (often with the looming threat of violence), but that it’s our responsibility to actively avoid hurting men’s fragile pride and self-image and to affirm their value and even superiority. It’s tragic and pathetic, for everyone. We all live brief lives in a vast cosmos, and this nonsense is a hindrance to joy and fulfillment.
A. Noydsays
Why would any woman want to get married with rules like those? What’s the benefit to her? She has to do all the work herself and can’t turn to anyone, including her husband, for support.
~*~*~*~*~
SC (#1)
They show the extent to which many men’s sense of self worth is dependent on women’s constant affirmations.
Yet, he calls women the needy ones: “Stop being so needy, it drains your husband.”
Goodness gracious me, if men were actually like the “husband” described by the dear pastor, I would just stock up on the sex toys and leave men alone.
I have kids, they started out as babies, and I swear they weren’t half as needy as the guy described by these tweets. Actually, part of my role as a parent is to make them grow up as adults who can take care of themselves and who are not ever-smiling, domestic servant sex-bots.
If I had sons and they grew up demanding that their partner just says “yes” and “thank you”, I would have done something fundamentally wrong.
OldEdsays
Is this guy for real???? If I behaved as he suggests I’d be out on the street in no time at all. I feel that stoning is much to good for him.
Tauriq Moosasays
If you mean providing him with marijuana or other narcotics so he chills out and listens to reason, sure. If you mean physical violence as a means of response, no. There’s a reason I and many others oppose this when Islamic countries do this as part of their “justice system”.
drkensays
There’s a difference between making sure your partner knows you appreciate everything they do for you (assuming, of course, that they actually do things for you) and treating them like a 5 year old in a “don’t keep score, everybody gets a trophy” soccer league. There’s also a difference between recognizing that how ones partner views you sexually does effect your self esteem and “you’d better sex him up when he wants or he’ll get it somewhere else” victim blaming for cuckoldry (or whatever it is when men cheat on women). Mismatched sexual desires can cause problems in a relationship, but nobody’s entitled to sex, even in marriage.
Yeah, that’s the nicest thing I can say about this guy. He talks about stuff that might actually pass for relationship advice, but it’s so awash in “your job is to serve your husband, because he’s incapable of caring for himself or controlling his sexuality” misogyny/misandry toxic bullshit, you can barely see it.
I was a really young child when I realized how illogical it was that I was supposed to thank and praise the christian god for everything good in my life and blame myself for everything bad. It was my first step towards atheism. The way this man describes a wife’s role in a heterosexual marriage is just another version of that. A woman is at fault any time a marriage fails, and she must be thankful and contrite and helpful so that her man can make their life a success. I didn’t want that when I was 6, and I sure don’t want that now. I’d be happy to be single, if that were my only other option. Lucky for me, my husband and I both value supporting each other, making decisions together, providing both encouragement and constructive criticism and generally treating each other as equal human beings in a relationship.
culurielsays
After reading the tweets, I can’t help wondering: what does any woman who actually takes this advice even get out her marriage?
drkensays
@ culuriel #8
Given that her purpose in the marriage is to serve her husband, she’s not supposed to get anything out of it. But, in return for sacrificing everything she is in service to him, after she dies she’ll get to spend eternity in heaven at the right hand of Jesus, so she’s got that going for her, which is nice.
Robsays
Amazing how rapidly those tweets became gag inducing.
Trackbacks
[…] And along came a pastor to prove my point about men’s entitlement » […]
Several of these tweets reveal how far the culture of entitlement goes beyond sexual entitlement. They show the extent to which many men’s sense of self worth is dependent on women’s constant affirmations. We’re encouraged not only never to disparage men (often with the looming threat of violence), but that it’s our responsibility to actively avoid hurting men’s fragile pride and self-image and to affirm their value and even superiority. It’s tragic and pathetic, for everyone. We all live brief lives in a vast cosmos, and this nonsense is a hindrance to joy and fulfillment.
Why would any woman want to get married with rules like those? What’s the benefit to her? She has to do all the work herself and can’t turn to anyone, including her husband, for support.
~*~*~*~*~
SC (#1)
Yet, he calls women the needy ones: “Stop being so needy, it drains your husband.”
Goodness gracious me, if men were actually like the “husband” described by the dear pastor, I would just stock up on the sex toys and leave men alone.
I have kids, they started out as babies, and I swear they weren’t half as needy as the guy described by these tweets. Actually, part of my role as a parent is to make them grow up as adults who can take care of themselves and who are not ever-smiling, domestic servant sex-bots.
If I had sons and they grew up demanding that their partner just says “yes” and “thank you”, I would have done something fundamentally wrong.
Is this guy for real???? If I behaved as he suggests I’d be out on the street in no time at all. I feel that stoning is much to good for him.
If you mean providing him with marijuana or other narcotics so he chills out and listens to reason, sure. If you mean physical violence as a means of response, no. There’s a reason I and many others oppose this when Islamic countries do this as part of their “justice system”.
There’s a difference between making sure your partner knows you appreciate everything they do for you (assuming, of course, that they actually do things for you) and treating them like a 5 year old in a “don’t keep score, everybody gets a trophy” soccer league. There’s also a difference between recognizing that how ones partner views you sexually does effect your self esteem and “you’d better sex him up when he wants or he’ll get it somewhere else” victim blaming for cuckoldry (or whatever it is when men cheat on women). Mismatched sexual desires can cause problems in a relationship, but nobody’s entitled to sex, even in marriage.
Yeah, that’s the nicest thing I can say about this guy. He talks about stuff that might actually pass for relationship advice, but it’s so awash in “your job is to serve your husband, because he’s incapable of caring for himself or controlling his sexuality” misogyny/misandry toxic bullshit, you can barely see it.
I was a really young child when I realized how illogical it was that I was supposed to thank and praise the christian god for everything good in my life and blame myself for everything bad. It was my first step towards atheism. The way this man describes a wife’s role in a heterosexual marriage is just another version of that. A woman is at fault any time a marriage fails, and she must be thankful and contrite and helpful so that her man can make their life a success. I didn’t want that when I was 6, and I sure don’t want that now. I’d be happy to be single, if that were my only other option. Lucky for me, my husband and I both value supporting each other, making decisions together, providing both encouragement and constructive criticism and generally treating each other as equal human beings in a relationship.
After reading the tweets, I can’t help wondering: what does any woman who actually takes this advice even get out her marriage?
@ culuriel #8
Given that her purpose in the marriage is to serve her husband, she’s not supposed to get anything out of it. But, in return for sacrificing everything she is in service to him, after she dies she’ll get to spend eternity in heaven at the right hand of Jesus, so she’s got that going for her, which is nice.
Amazing how rapidly those tweets became gag inducing.