Spoons Hammered Flat

A collection of souvenir silver spoons with enamel coats of arms on their handles. Photo by Lourdes Cardenal via Wikimedia Commons.So, those of you who followed me may have noticed that my blog spiked and then slowed a great deal. There’s more than one reason for this, and it seems like that might be something worth talking about.

The main thing, I think, is that I do have a pretty busy life! I was excited to have this new platform so I went a bit intense at it at first. Things are now settling down to the level that I think will be sustainable: one or two posts a week, plus a few smaller bits and pieces from time to time like the double dactyls. I’m very definitely not quitting, I have two drafts for bigger posts partly done and a whole raft of things in the pipeline.

What I have noticed, however, is that blogging is a pretty vulnerable act, for me at least. Not only does it involve putting one’s thoughts and feelings out there to be picked at, but FtB has always been a principled network that attracts detractors, people for whom the cruelty is the point as much as any MAGA-hat-wearer, people who enjoy taking pieces out of anyone who exists here. Now, I knew that when I applied and have no regrets about it, but it really does take a toll, at least enough of one that it adds an extra layer of emotional cost to creating blog posts. [Read more…]

Message in a Time Bottle

Timepiece Monument, by Florin Huluba, via Wikimedia Commons

[CW: depression, verbal abuse]

I’d say getting email about one’s first post is a good sign that was a good post, and indeed that happened. For the sake of confidentiality I won’t say anything about who it was from or the remainder of the content, but they asked me two questions that I found interesting enough that they are worth another post:

Is there anything you wish you could go back and tell your parents about having a child with depression? (Or anything they did know that you’re glad they did know?)

Is there anything you’d want your younger self to know, if you could?

Those are difficult. And in some respects the answer is darker, I think, than the asker was hoping for. As I mentioned in that previous post, I don’t have major depression, I have c-PTSD, which presents with depression and a massively overwhelming inner critic as symptoms. That’s in my case, of course; those are extremely common symptoms among sufferers of c-PTSD but nothing is universal. As the name implies, however, complex post-traumatic stress disorder is not something anyone can be born with. Like its more widely accepted cousin PTSD, it is an involuntary reaction to trauma… which means answering these questions necessitates inquiring about the origins of that. [Read more…]

Hello Actually Narrow But Vociferous Slice of World!

Hi folks! I reckon most of you who might look at this post at least have seen my handle around, probably complaining bitterly at someone who is being a dicknostril, especially about trans issues. The plan here is to show off mostly the not so angry sides of my personality – which I would like to think is most of it, but hey, who knows.

I’m grateful to the existing Beloved Ruling Class here on FtB for accepting my application. I’ve been here for a long time – I’ve read Natalie Reed, Zinnia Jones, Crommunist, and Ed Brayton here; I’ve seen the dark moments when a bloggers were expelled for racism or plagiarism; I was here for Ophelia Benson’s grand final flounce and the sad passing of Caine – and have a lot of respect for the bloggers here. I’m honored they’re willing to take a chance on including me among them.

I will of course comment from time to time on current affairs. This may be a little difficult, since most of FtB is American and I am Canadian, which means I am slightly insulated from happenings south of the 49th and sometimes it is hard to have an opinion of them other than INTERMINABLE SHRIEKING… but I’ll try! Right now the deepest thought I have in that direction was what I posted on Twitter:

You know, if I were writing about a milquetoast centrist politician running to be the first gay President, I would consider the name ‘Pete Buttigieg’ to be WAY too on-the-nose.

There is a touch of the Cuttle about me too, so I will leave you with this limerick (complaining about transphobes, ’cause I still gotta be me):

Some ‘feminists’ (only in name)
Who love to fan trans hatred’s flame
Get all of their cash
From men who are fash
Which proves that they’re all just the same.