Privacy? Nevermore!

Once upon a conversation, I received a revelation—
Just a tiny aberration in the phone line could be heard
It was near too faint for hearing, all too quickly disappearing,
And it surely had me fearing they had listened to my word
But of course, there is no reason to be snooping for my word
Such a notion is absurd!

With the conversation ending, and my paranoia pending—
Was some listening ear attending? Had a wiretap occurred?
My suspicions were implying what I’d rather be denying;
That the government was spying, and the lines had all been blurred
There had formerly been limits, but those lines have all been blurred—
Ah, but surely that’s absurd!

Could my phone call now be quoted? My associations noted?
Are there data banks devoted, at the mercy of some nerd?
All the data they can hack up, with more copies just for backup
In some cave where servers stack up with the info there interred?
They will long outlast my body, which will rot when I’m interred
This is far beyond absurd!

In a time that seems chaotic, is my worrying neurotic?
Maybe spying’s patriotic—it’s what 9/11 spurred.
Sure, the citizens are frightened, but security is heightened
With the leaky borders tightened and some terrorists deterred
Why, the means are surely justified if terror is deterred
Or they’re not… cos it’s absurd.

On Availability

Artificial dichotomies bother some people;
With only two options to choose,
But sometimes, two choices are all that you need—
Like which do, and which don’t, make the news

The killings we see on the six o’clock news
Are the killings that happen in bunches
They frighten the viewers, and panic the anchors,
And inundate “experts” with hunches.

The killings that don’t make the news are the ones
That are filling the morgues and statistics;
By ones or by twos, these homicides hide
Their unfortunate characteristics

We focus on killings that catch our attention—
The ones that stand out from the noise;
Ignoring the killings that don’t make the headlines,
With just one or two girls or boys.

A gun that goes off that I swear wasn’t loaded—
It’s kept in the house for defense—
It’s always kept loaded, in case we might need it;
Unloaded just wouldn’t make sense

The pistol that still had a round in the chamber
The shotgun up high on a shelf
The piece being shown to a friend or a neighbor:
“It’s empty—I checked it myself!”

One by one, they add up, while we mostly don’t notice,
A Newtown or so every day
The solution, we hear, is more good guys with guns,
Because that’s the American way.

“On Availability”… not the availability of guns, but the availability heuristic. Mass killings make the front pages, or the lead story on the nightly news, so those horrible events are what spring to mind when we think about gun issues. The points made (or attempted) by both sides are by now completely predictable, a well choreographed dance of “if only”s–if only a teacher had been armed; if only a bystander had been packing, if only if only if only. As I’ve said before, all the best examples are hypothetical.

But even if we take it as granted that a good guy with a gun could have stopped this or that mass shooting (not at all an assured thing, but let’s run with it), the trick is that mass shootings are not the big problem. The big problem is the relative trickle of gun deaths and injuries, the incidents and accidents in ones and twos, across the country, reported in the local news but not reaching wider audience. These numbers add up–take a look at the tally as reported at Slate Magazine. The graphic is sobering. Or take a look at the Daily Kos feature GunFAIL, for details on each week’s gun accidents.

These accidents and incidents are the inevitable result of large numbers of people with guns. It seems surprising, but really should not be, that we get a pretty substantial number of trained police officers accidentally shooting themselves or others–the simple fact is that they are around guns more often than other people, so even their trained handling results in a lower accident rate per hour of gun exposure, but significantly more gun exposure, and thus they end up on the list.

The rhetoric of gun control dependably focuses on the big headlines. We don’t want another Newtown, or another Columbine, or another this or that. And of course, we don’t. But the solutions that put more guns into teachers’ hands, however well intentioned, are almost certain to add to this far larger source of death and injury.

Predictable Reaction To “Atheist Monument”

A Decalogue carved out of granite began it;
Jehovah’s commandments on six tons of stone
An atheist group then complained; they maintained
The establishment clause says it can’t sit alone
The lawyers advised “don’t take chances; your stance is
‘If one is allowed, well then, so are the rest’.”
So, while maybe it wasn’t their druthers, now others
Can join them, with multiple viewpoints expressed.

The atheists’ bench is the first one, the cursed one,
Reminding the county that godless exist—
That Florida’s not monolithically mythic;
That Christians don’t make up the whole of the list.
I’m hoping the Hindus will bring ‘em a lingam,
A huge granite phallus to add to the mix
So when councilmen pass, they will find a reminder
That some think the council are acting like dicks.

I read about the monument a couple of days ago, but of course the monument itself isn’t anything exciting to write about. It’s the reaction to the monument that gets fun. Mano predicted this yesterday, as reactions started to trickle in. Today, my aggregator is full of various Christian reactions to the bench.

“Good for them. I think it’s a perfect monument for atheists. It says it all. Atheism – it’s where asses go.“

(don’t skip the comments there. You will know they are Christians by their love. Oh! One of the comments makes the point that “Every public square without a Christmas Crib at Christmas is a monument to atheism.” which reminded me of this one from a while ago.)

“It’s absolutely ridiculous to have opposing viewpoints like this,” [Mat Staver of Liberty Council] says. “Certainly, Thomas Jefferson and Madelyn Murray O’Hair need not be opposing the 10 Commandments. In fact, Thomas Jefferson would be appalled that his writings would be used to oppose the 10 Commandments, which are the very basis of the rule of law.”

Which is why the first 4 commandments are explicitly overruled by the first amendment.

And while Fox News’s Tucker Carlson predicts (or urges) vandalism:

“I have a feeling that bench will be a magnet for graffiti,” Carlson said on this past weekend’s “Fox & Friends,” when discussing the planned atheist memorial.
“Just a guess,” Carlson added.

…at the same site, at least some see what “public free-speech forum” actually means:

Ken Weaver, a member of the Starke, Fla.-based group Community Men’s Fellowship, which originally erected the Ten Commandments monument at Bradford County Courthouse, previously told CP that he believes the American Atheists “has the same freedoms of expression as those of any other citizen or group.”

Of course, as of this writing, the only comment at that particular site is a simple “I concur Tucker”.

At the risk of repeating myself, you will know they are Christians by their love.

“It’s Not A Hate Thing”

They say, “It’s not a hate thing, it’s a moral stance we take”
But the things they do betray their lie with every move they make
When your words don’t match your actions, it will come as no surprise
That the people who observe you will conclude you’re telling lies.

It’s a simple observation; you may label it a fact
When your words and actions disagree, the truth is how you act
When you say you love the sinner, but you still discriminate
We conclude that you’re a liar; we conclude that this is hate.

So the Baptists plan their exodus, while still proclaiming love
It’s their duty to be honest, yes, but push has come to shove
Many Christian groups are staying; Baptist groups are running scared
And they’re going to have to tell some lies, for which they’ll be prepared

You can trust them to be bigots; they are loyal to their church;
They are helpful, friendly, courteous, and kind of in a lurch;
They’re obedient and cheerful; they are thrifty, brave, and clean,
But the problem is, they’re reverent, and that’s what makes them mean.

They say, “It’s not a hate thing, it’s a moral stance we take”
But the things they do betray their lie with every move they make
When your words don’t match your actions, it will come as no surprise
That the people who observe you will conclude you’re telling lies.

With the inclusion of openly gay scouts, the Boy Scouts of America can expect a mass exodus of Southern Baptist affiliated groups. I know, win-win, right? Oh, wait, it’s a bad thing because reasons. Or probably, because money. But for the Baptists, it’s a simple matter of doing the [far]right thing:

“God’s word explicitly says homosexuality is a choice, a sin,” said Reed, pastor of First Baptist Church of Gravel Ridge in Jacksonville, Arkansas.

So when the Boy Scouts of America voted to lift its ban on openly gay youths on May 24, Reed said the church had no choice but to cut its charter with Troop 542.

“It’s not a hate thing here,” Reed told CNN affiliate Fox 16. “It’s a moral stance we must take as a Southern Baptist church.”

and God’s will is crystal clear on this matter. The Baptist groups (making up approximately 5% of total BSA units–it is unclear if only Southern Baptists are leaving, and it is unclear what percentage of Baptist groups in the BSA are Southern Baptist) oppose the national changes because God says to.

The National Jewish Committee on Scouting, the United Church of Christ, the Episcopal Church, the Unitarian Universalist Association and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which sponsors more Scout units than any other faith, all endorsed the change.

The National Catholic Committee on Scouting, which is run with oversight from a bishop, said Thursday that allowing gay youths in the Scouts does not conflict with church teaching. Each bishop will decide whether or not to allow churches in his diocese to charter Scout units, the committee added.

So maybe God is a little iffy on the subject. (as an aside, I did read in the comments to the linked article, the old chestnut about how science has had to change its stance so many times over the centuries, while the church has remained a rock. If the church ever was a rock, it has fragmented into tens of thousands of fragments over time, each one claiming to be the original and unchanging rock. One church may oppose and protest, say, same sex marriage, while the church across the street happily embraces and conducts such marriages.) God’s fickle like that.

But hey, the Scout Law requires scouts to be “trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent”… not necessarily honest. Honesty is implied in “morally straight” (part of the scout oath); so long as the Baptists are interpreting that as “not morally gay”, they are free to lie about their motives.

Cos the truth is, it’s a hate thing.

Wolf: “Do You Thank The Lord?”

It’s so annoying when tornado victims don’t follow the script, isn’t it?

Wolf: “…we’re happy you’re here; you guys did a great job. And I guess you gotta thank the Lord, right? Do you thank the Lord? For that split-second decision?”

Survivor: “I… I… I’m actually an atheist.”

Wolf: “Oh, you are! … But you made the right call.”

Survivor: “Yep; we are here. And I don’t, I don’t blame anyone for thanking the Lord”

Wow, and she doesn’t seem at all angry at God, either. Darned atheists, don’t they know the script?

Cuttlecap tip to Anonymous, via twitter.

Oklahoma

When disaster hit the coastline
With a hurricane and flood
And the people needed money
And the people needed blood
There were some in Oklahoma
(They were senators, no less!)
Who defiantly insisted
It was someone else’s mess
They would not support New Jersey
When the hurricane had struck;
They’re conservative Republicans:
They did not give a fuck.

Now tornadoes hit the heartland;
Oklahoma’s on the ropes
And the folks in Oklahoma
Count on others for their hopes
If the senators were assholes
(Which, without a doubt, was true)
Time to show them by example
What’s the proper thing to do.
What the people need is money
So it’s time to pass the hat…
Save your prayers–they’re only wind, you know–
They’ve quite enough of that.

That link (here it is again) goes to the Foundation Beyond Belief’s “Humanist Crisis Response” site. 100% of donated money goes to the cause; FBB takes no cut at all. And they are tax deductible–which shouldn’t be a concern, but might make a difference for some folks.

We’re Number One! (Wait, That’s A Bad Thing…)

Shockingly, rockingly,
Scientist monitors
Looked at the bullet we’d
Hoped we had ducked

Argue no longer for
Periodicity—
Carbon’s new record means
Humans are fucked.

Yup. Carbon Dioxide levels in the atmosphere are higher they have been in the history of humankind. The highest in over six thousand three million years. The New York Times reports:

The best available evidence suggests the amount of the gas in the air has not been this high for at least three million years, before humans evolved, and scientists believe the rise portends large changes in the climate and the level of the sea.

“It symbolizes that so far we have failed miserably in tackling this problem,” said Pieter P. Tans, who runs the monitoring program at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration that reported the new reading.

While some groups have short-term economic reasons for denying reality, the truth is…

Carbon dioxide rises and falls on a seasonal cycle and the level will dip below 400 this summer, as leaf growth in the Northern Hemisphere pulls about 10 billion tons of carbon out of the air. But experts say that will be a brief reprieve — the moment is approaching when no measurement of the ambient air anywhere on earth, in any season, will produce a reading below 400.

“It feels like the inevitable march toward disaster,” said Maureen E. Raymo, a Columbia University earth scientist.

Or as I put it above… humans are fucked. Read the article… and not for nothing, this month is bike-to-work month.

On Monsters

He’s a monster; he’s not human—
He’s the devil in disguise!
The embodiment of evil;
You can see it in his eyes!
No iota of morality
No evidence of soul
Where a man should have a human heart
This demon has a hole.

His behavior was horrific—
Inexcusable, in fact;
No real human could have done it
It’s a horrid, beastly act
If he’d had the slightest conscience
He’d be overcome with shame…
So let’s sentence him to torture;
We can treat him just the same!

Let’s imprison him with Bubba
Where he never will escape
Take his time, to learn the lesson
On the other side of rape
We can chain him; we can whip him,
We can break a rib or two…
Cos he has to learn, these things are not
What moral people do.

Wow. Now that God finally saved those three women in Cleveland, it’s become downright unpleasant to read through the comment sections on news sites. The argument seems to be “nobody should ever treat another human being like this man treated those women, therefore we should treat this man like he treated those women.” Or “he’s a depraved monster for doing what he did; we should do the same to him.” Or “what kind of sick fuck is capable of such behavior, he ought to be flayed alive in the town square, suspended by his testicles over a hornet nest and beaten with hot pokers.” Because we are more moral than he is.

I have seen a handful of people calling out the would-be official torturers and those calling for prison rape as a reasonable sentence. They are accused of taking the rapist’s side, of course–because if you don’t want the skin peeled off of his face with a garden trowel, you are soft on crime and a liberal communist.

No sentence we could give him could ever pay back what he took from those women. That would be impossible. That cannot, and should not, be the standard we hold ourselves to. But we should not allow him to take our humanity from us as well. If what he did is detestable (and it is), it should be detestable for anyone to do it (and it is). The internet commenters calling for such treatment should take a good hard look at who they are choosing as their role model.

Miracle In Cleveland

Thank god! Our prayers are answered!
It’s a miracle, you know!
We are celebrating, crying joyful tears!
God decided, in his wisdom,
That he’d let these poor girls go
After keeping them imprisoned ten full years.

It’s a proof that god is mighty
It’s a proof that god is good
God will make this bastard suffer for his crime
It’s a proof that god will always
Make things come out as they should
Though He seems to have a different view of time

Wonderful news out of Cleveland; three women, missing for 10 years, have been found alive, having been held captive in a house, remarkably close to where they disappeared.

I’ve already heard it described as a miracle, as an answer to prayers, as something that restores one’s faith in god. And my goodness, it is astonishingly good news for everyone. But as always, it strikes me odd to give an omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent entity credit for today’s events and let that entity off the hook for the last 10 years.

But hey, come to think of it, it does have all the hallmarks of one of god’s miracles.

I’ll Have A Slice Without So Much Rat In It…

It’s processed meat; they say it’s mutton—
And that, of course, is that.
No need to worry over nutton—
It’s not (or is it?) rat.

But rat it is, or fox, or mink,
(And some of it’s diseased)
Chinese officials made a stink
And now it’s all been seized.

Some twenty thousand tons of meat
Were seized in raids this year
From bogus beef to chicken feet
It’s not quite right, they fear.

So have some tart, with not much rat…
It’s safe–but just not very
And if you please, have cheese with that…
Cos next, they’re checking dairy

Yup… via CNN, a story bound to leave you peckish…

Police in China have spent three months seizing bogus meat, some of it fake beef or mutton made out of fox, mink and rat.
They snatched up around 20,000 tons of illegal products, according to state news agency Xinhua.
In 382 cases, officials arrested 904 suspects for passing off counterfeit meat, meat injected with water or diseased flesh to consumers, the news agency said.

I’ve never had rat, but I do have recipes (I collect recipes; if you have some you think I might like, please send them along!), and I would not be in the least hesitant to try them. But. I want my rat meat labeled as rat meat. (More likely, I’ll butcher my own.) If my recipe calls for mutton, I want mutton, and if my recipe calls for rat, I want rat.

It occurs to me that my last comment on Taslima’s blog linked to a cannibalism site. Like I said… I collect recipes.