The State Of The Union (Is Scary)

As always, my apologies to Bob Dylan. The tune is “The Times, They Are A-Changin'”, and you should add your additional verses in the comments. (Also, I haven’t given any thought at all to what order the verses should go in–this is just the way they came out.)

An obsolete industry fell down a hole
So “saving the miners” is now the big goal
But the green competition exacted a toll
And we may have just lost the canary
So we’ll make up some bullshit and trumpet “Clean Coal”
Cos the state of the union is scary

Inclusively, Donald appeals to “the blacks”
And he says not to worry, cos he’s got their backs
And he’ll solve all their problems by cutting some tax
Bigger changes are un-necessary
Then he’ll lie in bed tweeting and eating big macs
Cos the state of the union is scary

The DREAMers are “dreamers”, just people who dream,
That’s every last one of us, so it would seem
Such that all of America’s on the same team
And there’s no need for some to be wary
So with ICE at your doorstep there’s no need to scream
Though the state of the union is scary

The pundits’ reactions will rarely surprise
Though some say it’s genius, for others, it’s lies
Initial opinions will rarely revise
So conclusions predictably vary
The low views stay low, and the high views stay high
And the state of the union is scary

A vacuous cry “Make America Great”
By attacking and blaming the people we hate
While the values of Nazis are food for debate
(Like Confederate bronze statuary)
A momentous occasion for ignorant prate
And the state of the union is scary

And you have to admit, it’s a little bit odd
To hear “Faith—in the family, nation, and God”
When for Trump these are merely a flimsy facade
(Has he ever been faithful? Not very!)
While Republican Congressmen stand and applaud
Oh, the state of the union is scary!

Hat tip to Imani Gandy, via Twitter:


  1. brucegee1962 says

    …and then the Republican train runs into a garbage truck outside Charlottesville.

    Not even a metaphor. NOT EVEN A METAPHOR.

  2. Thinker says

    Great to have you back! Heeding your call (request? order? demand?), here are two additional verses (using “state of YOUR union”, as it is a view from abroad…):

    When Kim, backed by Xi, runs a nuclear test,
    Your teenage commander in chief from his nest
    Just tweets with a huff that his button is best,
    It’s like Moe and Curly and Larry
    In some comedy gold, if it all were in jest
    But the state of your union is scary

    When some have martinis and others must thirst,
    And some ride a golf cart while others get hearsed,
    The insular goal of “America First!”
    Isn’t big or audacious, just hairy.
    Let’s hope for the best while expecting the worst
    Cos the state of your union is scary

  3. Cuttlefish says

    Beautiful, Thinker! (I must admit, the Stooges were on my list to work into this one! I like yours better.)

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