A Buck Fifty!

Tweet by Miss Betty Bowers

The things I could do with my nifty buck-fifty!
The GOP really delivered this time!
Six quarters! My pockets are jingling! I’m tingling,
And happily planning out every last dime!
The first dime, I’ll play on the market—I’ll park it
In long-term annuities (safe as can be!)
The interest is slow, but it’s steady—I’m ready
For future uncertainties (no risk for me!)

The second, I say without blinking, I’m thinking
Will likely be spent in a Real Estate buy!
The market’s so strong that it pesters investors:
“Come on, take my money—you don’t have to try!”
The third, maybe oil, because drilling is thrilling
The fourth, likely Bitcoin, (I’m timing it well!)
The fifth of my dimes, oh so tiny and shiny,
I’ll use that for tithing, to stay out of Hell.

That still leaves ten dimes! “That’s a dollar!”, I’ll holler,
“I’ll spend like a sailor, on all kinds of stuff!”
But then, when I head to the Seven-Eleven
For coffee, a dollar just isn’t enough!
This cut doesn’t help me; Paul Ryan was lyin’!
He gained half a million, while me—I stayed broke
It’s true, though, I’ve learned—I’m confessin’—one lesson:
With just a buck-fifty, you can’t buy a Koch.


  1. Pierce R. Butler says

    Sorry, but in this scenario staying out of hell will cost you 15 cents.

    Nice try, but too bad – a rule is a rule, no matter how crule.

  2. chigau (違う) says

    Mrs. Betty Bowers can’t math.
    It would take 40 weeks not 40 months.
    I think it possible that the secretary might have been being sarcastic.
    Does Paul Ryan recognise sarcasm?

  3. Die Anyway says

    Coming back to read some of the older stuff…
    If you had invested a dime in Bit Coin back then it would be “worth” several hundred dollars now.

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