This race might be one that’s best tackled unshackled—
Unchain me, you losers, and let me fly free!
I think I might surge without Ryan—I’m tryin’;
The best course of action is “Let Me Be Me!”
We don’t need to mention how racist my base is,
Or how xenophobic I am on the stump
It’s anti-establishment voting I’m noting
And no one can play the outsider like Trump!
Politicos came to my wedding, indebting
These Beltway Insiders to see things my way!
I do love to talk, but it’s funny that money
Speaks louder and stronger, so that’s why I pay!
Political types can’t be trusted—they’re busted—
They thrive on donations to force them to care.
The issues that billionaires care for? They’re there for!
But me? They’re my issues! I’m already there!
They constantly claim they’ll take axes to taxes
But donors convince them to “leave us alone!”
My plan has the billionaires thriving, conniving
To cut you so deeply it hurts to the bone.
While most politicians try smiling, beguiling,
I’m earning your trust with my permanent frown:
Our nation would love to outlive me, but give me
Your votes, and I promise, I’ll burn it all down.
Sorry, I had some time to think while giving exams.