I read it in the paper! Or,
I saw it on TV!
As interpreted by journalists
Who sussed it out for me;
It’s the newest news from science—
What the latest studies show—
Though I only read the headline,
That’s enough: I’m in the know!
Have you seen the news on chocolate?
How it’s bad—or, maybe, good;
See, the story didn’t give us
All the details that is should:
What control groups were included,
What statistics were compiled,
Who provided major funding,
Had a protocol been filed?
Were they only going fishing
For a p of .05?
You must publish, or you’ll perish,
And they want to stay alive!
It’s too much for me to fathom
But I hope we can agree—
We can trust the word of science
If we saw it on TV!
Hmph. I wrote this days ago, and thought I had posted it, and now (the problems you face when you write topical verse) it is dated. Yesterday’s news (or later). I could link to John Oliver’s video that inspired it, or to PZ’s post, or Mano’s.
But hey, at least this is (or could be) an innocent, ignorant mistake (yeah, or not). There are those who are more motivated to promote that which ought not be promoted. Say, the equal and opposite scientist. But that may be the medium at work.