Suppose you ask a hired gun
To wipe somebody out—
Could you be held responsible?
Of that there’s little doubt.

Protect yourself from legal woes
Behind this false façade—
When issuing a mortal threat,
Pretend you’re asking God!

So long as God is impotent
And cannot have His way—
You want your God to smite my ass?
Then go ahead and pray.

If someone overhears you, and
Decides to be God’s sword—
You’re innocent, cos you were only
Talking to the Lord.

Your prayer was posted publicly,
Where anyone could see—
The claim is still “It’s just a talk
Between the Lord and me.”

It’s funny… if there was a God
You’d ask, your soul to spare—
And if you tried out this defense…
You wouldn’t have a prayer.

(In Texas, there’s a billboard
Which the Secret Service noted,
Suggesting that the president
Be killed–or just outvoted.

The problem with dog-whistling,
As bigots here have seen…
You run the risk that everyone
Will still know what you mean.)

As NiftyAtheist pointed out in a recent comment, my earlier verse is all too appropriate once again, with the placement of a billboard in Texas:

The sign says “Pray for Obama”, but it’s the scripture quoted below those words that is raising eyebrows: Psalms 109:8.
Psalms 109:8 reads, “Let his days be few, and let another take his office.”
Milton Neitsch Jr., who has lived in Victoria since 1961, says he didn’t intend for people to pick up on the hateful wishes of death and pain surrounding the tiny verse.

Of course not. You don’t want anyone to hear the whistle but your dog.

(BTW, the comments at that news site are … well, what we’ve come to expect.)


  1. says

    Thank you for the shout out. :-D Your two new stanzas are excellent – love your closing line:

    You don’t want anyone to hear the whistle but your dog.

    Nailed it.

    I have to say, it gives me a real thrill to see such perfectly turned phrases and poems spearing straight to the heart of the matter. You seem to do it almost every single day. My hat is off to you, Digital Cuttlefish! You have fans amongst the younger Nifty generation, too.

  2. Trebuchet says

    Curse you, Cuttlefish! May you hear the song of the Mermaid! (You know which one I mean.) You lured me into looking at the comments on that article and now I need to get my brain cleansed again.

  3. Randomfactor says

    “Will no one rid me of this meddlesome president?”

    I find it amusing as hell that nobody seems to quote the first seven lines of the psalm, which explains a) what’s going on and b) how much of a shithead this idiot with his billboard actually is.

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