1. thinksanddrinks says

    Standard message. It happens all of the time, to everyone. I am a man. I am short and do not present a fearsome presence. I rarely get attacked, but when it happens I have learned to fight back with every resource I have (rocks, bottles, targeted thrusts to the throat, anything). It isn’t common for me to be attacked, and I have won every time for the last 30 years. However, that isn’t because I have not been threatened.


    Be vicious.


    It doesn’t really matter if they are bigger than you. That makes them bold. They expect you to surrender. When you try to kill them in response, it drives them away in disarray. (Once I bit a much larger man in the throat and nearly crushed his windpipe; he had to let go or die.)

    I am NOT saying in any way that sexual assault is justified. I am saying that bullies attack people all of the time, and that vicious counterattacks (let us say it out loud: attempts to kill our attackers) are necessary. Yes, serious efforts need to be made to reduce sexual assaults. However, viscous counterattacks need to be made against the viscous assholes who attack people; if they attack you, try to kill them. Even if you don’t succeed, the effort helps. If you do kill them, it helps more.

  2. hjhornbeck says

    thinksanddrinks @2:


    Be vicious.



    The Canadian Panel on Violence Against Women found that 38% of sexually assaulted women were assaulted by their husbands, common-law partners or boyfriends. (Canadian Panel on Violence Against Women, 1993)

    Of the women who were sexually assaulted, most (69%) are sexually assaulted by men known to them – dates, boyfriends, marital partners, friends, family members or neighbours. (J. Brickman and J. Briere, “incidence of Rape and Sexual Assault in an Urban Canadian Population”, The International Journal of Women’s Studies, Vol. 7 no. 3 1984) […]

    In cases reported to police, 80% of sexual assault survivors knew their abusers. About 10% were assaulted by a friend and 41% were assaulted by an acquaintance. 28% were assaulted by a family member, while the remaining 20% were assaulted by a stranger. (Statistics Canada, 2003, The Daily, 25 July)

    Fighting back against a stranger is cool, but what about your boss? Your friend? This hot guy you met? Rather than escalate the violence, I’d rather educate the perps. That does work, I’ll have you know.

  3. Myoo says

    @ thinksanddrinks, 2
    That is wrong on every conceivable level:
    1) Not everyone can resort to violence;
    2) Not everyone wants to resort to violence;
    3) Assaulting and/or killing someone will get you thrown in jail or worse, especially if you’re part of an oppressed group;
    4) A “Counter”-attack requires that the initial attack does not render you incapable of retaliating;
    5) Sexual assault and rape is more than just a stranger jumping out at you from a bush, it’s people who are close to you, it’s people who have power over you and can make your life hell for you, it’s people who drug, it’s people who assault you when you’re incapable of resisting, it’s a whole range of situations that can’t be addressed with “counter-attack”.

    You are simply victim-blaming here. You are saying that if someone doesn’t want to be the target of sexual assaulters and rapists they have to fight, and that’s not helping. Go away.

  4. leni says

    I’ve stood up to bullies before too.

    Violently. And I won. But only because I am both lucky and vicious and no thanks to the dozens of people who might have helped before it went that far. I’ve also lost despite being willing and able to chew the Achilles tendons or stab the eyes out of someone who wishes to do me harm.

    So yes, “thinks”anddrinks, how helpful and observant you are to point out that those people who are both able and willing sometimes fight back.

    I can’t imagine how we’ve survived as a species all this time without your novel and insightful input.

  5. ismenia says

    I’m afraid that for me most experiences of harrassment leave a vague sense of “did he really just say/do that” for a few minutes so reactions are slowed. In many cases of rape victims often freeze or just let the attacker do what he wants out of fear that he will use more violence if they resist.

    It’s easy to think that you would turn into Wonder Woman if assaulted and full credit to those who successfully fight off an attacker but for most it just doesn’t work like that.

    Also, while there is a certain appeal in the idea of responding to verbal harrassment with violence, it’s not really an option.

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