Here’s this chart of the caloric value of cannibalism.
The article tries to spin this negatively — as a game animal, humans are a very poor return on the investment of effort in hunting them. As a cheerful optimist with a sunny disposition, however, I prefer to put this in a good light: if you are on a diet and trying to lose weight, then cannibalism might just be the perfect weight loss plan for you.
Basically, if you’re eating kale regularly, you might as well try switching things up a bit.
Does this mean that they’ll be changing the formula for Soylent Green?
As a longtime cannibal, I find skeletal muscle very difficult to digest. I have to cook it for long periods of time, so actually the lower skeletal muscle level of humans compared to other game animals isn’t a negative for me.
Now fat (yum yum) is very easily digested, requiring little cooking. And most humans have a lot of fat, so actually they’re very nutritious.
As an aside, most animals are hunting for calories, not protein. Once they get sufficient calories, then they can go hunting for protein.
Why are they only looking at muscle? Fat, bone marrow and organs are very nutritious.
But there’s more to nutrition than simple caloric content, and there’s more to eat than just muscular tissue.
I’ve heard from a certain doctor (a fellow with a very pleasant demeanor, I might add) that the human liver makes a most satisfactory meal, with fava beans and a nice chianti.
China has issued warnings that nuclear war is looming, so you’ll be able to get your people crispy crittered. How much value in charcoal?
How do humans compare to other predators and omnivores like bears, lions, or wolves?
But in these fast food days humans contain lots of high energy delicious trans fats. Yum!
The mildly deranged penguin says Doigts du vendeur de fromage criant can be a tasty accompaniment to the cheese.
Beaver is definitely one of my favorite things to eat.
Do we have any similar studies on caloric value of humans measured against their net financial worth? I mean, no matter what, the upper 1% is not going to be that big a meal for everyone else, but there are extenuating circumstances at play here.
There’s also the most nutritious part. BRAAAAINS. There may only be 2-1/2 to 3 pounds, but my they’re tasty, don’t you think so, Clarisse? And zombies, they’re not so dumb – they go for the best part.
Just like grizzly bears go for the salmon belly fat and leave the muscle for the eagles and ravens.
Since fat has 9 cal/gram and protein has only 4 cal/gram while adipose tissue is >90% fat and muscle is only ~30% protein and most of the rest is water [same for the liver], one could go for a lot longer on a chubby human than a deer of about twice the human’s weight. [average American is 25-35% fat]
Unfortunately, in most situations when humans become cannibals, there’s probably a lot less fat on the victim.
@ Rey Fox
Unfortunately, the rich tend to be leaner. But far more worthy.
Was that modern humans?
The wooly mammoth weighed 6,614 lbs but numbers are rounded and approximate?
This entire chart seems wrong-headed.
So in other words, the new version of Trumpcare doesn’t make economic sense either?
With all the preservatives, nitrates, and other chemicals in our food today, I imagine human meat is not only not very nutritious but is probably bad for you, as well.
What sort of atheists are you guys? You’re only thinking of adult humans. What about the babies!? Young, tender, not fully developed bones.
Anyway, I doubt ancient humans had the luxury of being picky. Also, perhaps they weren’t eating other humans for calories or protein, but to absorb the soul of their enemy.
Larry — “With all the preservatives, nitrates, and other chemicals…” Not problem if they’re raised organic.
Would a Stone Age hominid really be that fatty? And even if they were, wouldn’t that make them even more calorie-rich, and therefore useful (and delicious)?
I could certainly believe that, calorie for calorie, it would be more trouble to hunt a human than a woolly mammoth. They don’t call humans “the most dangerous game” for nothing. But muscle isn’t the only variable – otherwise, we’d need a good deal more security at bodybuilding events, lest the cannibals literally steal the show…
Flanders and Swann:
We may not have a particularly high caloric content, but we’re easy prey for any predator close to our size or larger. Our senses aren’t as keen as most game animals, and we aren’t as fast. Catch us alone or in too small a group, and we’re just a snack.
markernes@9
Eating people can burn calories if you do it right.
@weatherwax #20:
But back in the days before we’d killed off most of those predators nearby, we had a tendency not to leave home without a spear or a bow. Even when alone, those weapons gave us the advantage over all except a few ambush predators such as leopards and crocodiles. Now here we are.
I recommend Trump voters’ brains. Same principle as crated veal’s muscles, and with far less cruelty since it’s entirely voluntary.
In a time and place of plenty
In a calm and placid mood
There are things we take for granted
Like a sure supply of food
But when everything collapses—
When the shit has hit the fan—
Since it’s hard to love starvation,
Time to love your fellow man.
There are tasty meals aplenty
If you just know where to search—
You can find a lot of protein
Taking shelter at a church
But those herds won’t last forever
Months, at most, before they’re dead
If you want to last the season
Then you’ve got to plan ahead
There’s a longer lasting food source
In the market, midst the cans
Where defense of rich resources
Is the basis of their plans
They’ll be staking out the aisles,
And they’ll booby-trap the shelves
But they don’t expect a hunter
That is after…well…themselves
Their attention is divided
As they guard their precious store
They neglect a different danger
And I’ve recipes galore
After them will be the preppers
Whose supplies are truly vast
They should hold out for a long while
So I’m saving them for last
They’ll be packing up their bug-out bags,
Preparing for their fate…
As they’re setting out for safety,
I’ll be setting out my bait.
http://freethoughtblogs.com/cuttlefish/2013/01/27/a-different-approach-to-prepping/
numerous @#14– convert to kilograms, and it’s a much rounder number. Translating for Americans often makes numbers stupid.
Thanks for explaining where that (and the other) bizarrely specific values came from. It should have dawned on me, but I was too distracted by the cheesemonger’s screams & curses to work it out. (She was quite tasty, b.t.w., dipped in a fondue sauce of her own cheeses, with a selection of decent, yet quite modest, French vins rouge.)
Rich Woods @22
Great. Now the gun fondlers have a new excuse.
It’s one I could accept though if it went as such – “I only carry it when hiking through the wilderness or in cities full of cannibals. Otherwise I keep it unloaded and locked in a secure safe at home.”
–Trump voters’ brains—-
The despairing moans of zombies seeing Trump posters in a house they have broken into….