Now you can be stylish and support the Jessica Ahlquist scholarship fund at the same time! $10 of the $15 price tag on these shirts go straight to the fund, so it’s an awesomely good deal.
Bonus! Order it in L or XL and win your very own free ironic smirk!





48 comments
Skip to comment form ↓
otrame
20 January 2012 at 9:56 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
They got any XXL?
Glen Davidson
20 January 2012 at 10:02 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
On the plus side, one good stomp in the right place (finding it’s the problem), and Rhode Island will be finished.
Glen Davidson
megs226
20 January 2012 at 10:03 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I’ll buy it, wear it to Reason Rally, and represent us sane Rhode Islanders.
@2 Glen – huh?
JT (Generic)
20 January 2012 at 10:17 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I’m not suicidal enough to wear a red shirt.
Konradius
20 January 2012 at 10:17 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Presumably we do not want to finish Rhode Island just yet. After all, I think Jessica still lives there…
Here’s a shout out for all sane Rhode Islanders. You have to listen closely, it’s coming all the way from the Netherlands :D
tubi
20 January 2012 at 10:20 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Sizes go up to 4XL and there are multiple colors, including Hot Pink and Highlighter Yellow.
Brownian
20 January 2012 at 10:29 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Fine. You stay here and order girdles, while I head over that ridge to take some rea—aaaaaaiiigh!
Rev. BigDumbChimp
20 January 2012 at 10:49 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Then I could raise an eyebrown around my vintage glass frames and from under my wool cap while sipping on a PBR in my Stylie Members Only jacket.
hyoid
20 January 2012 at 11:19 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Got a red one on the way. It’s XL ’cause I’ve got big ideas.
René
20 January 2012 at 11:54 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
The font should have been Jessica.
Heliantus
20 January 2012 at 12:27 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Related topic: another poll to go click on, on the Cranston Herald. Again, should the school make appeal? 79% yes now.
http://cranstononline.com/
The comment section is overloaded with some guy repeating ad infinito the old trope Hitler = atheist.
Now I need a brain scrub.
Randomfactor
20 January 2012 at 12:42 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I voted “no” but almost wish the fun could go on. We could get Jessica A. a full-ride scholarship out of this circus.
hipopotamo
20 January 2012 at 12:59 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Uh, do you want me to wear a Red Shirt ???
Well, let me see if that Hortha is friendly…
littlejohn
20 January 2012 at 1:19 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I wear an XXL-Tall, which would be extremely ironic. Alas, I doubt it’s available in that size. I figured my screen name was ironic enough.
autumn
20 January 2012 at 1:20 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Done. A small price to pay to encourage a young hero.
Mare Lacrimarum
20 January 2012 at 1:20 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Ordered. Black hoodie with Green lettering. Also requested they put “It wasn’t Satan, it was me. Quit giving him credit. – Jessica Ahlquist” on the back.
anuran
20 January 2012 at 1:24 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
As soon as I get paid…
trewquiop
20 January 2012 at 1:36 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Done and done. I can’t wait to explain what it means…
staceyrodriguez
20 January 2012 at 1:58 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Got a hoodie for myself and a tee for the Hubs :) Glad to help this amazing young lady!
onefuriousllama
20 January 2012 at 2:20 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Don’t mind if I do!
'Tis Himself, OM.
20 January 2012 at 2:35 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
So that’s what I should call my pot belly.
firefly
20 January 2012 at 2:46 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Awesome idea. I’m in! But yes, perhaps not in red though, out of self-preservation.
TV200
20 January 2012 at 3:04 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Just out of curiosity, I searched the expression “Evil Little Thing”, just to see what happened if somebody saw the shirt, got curious, didn’t ask, but looked it up. Almost the entire first page is along the lines of “Rhode Island lawmaker calls 16 year old an “evil little thing”". I like it.
Deanna Joy Lyons
20 January 2012 at 3:15 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Bought one each in long sleeve for me and my favorite first husband. We chose red shirt with black lettering because those were our wedding colors. Too bad there’s no chrome to represent the stripper pole….
Grumps
20 January 2012 at 3:23 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
And of course the awesome Digital Cuttlefish has a rhyme:
http://freethoughtblogs.com/cuttlefish/2012/01/20/evil-little-thing/
TerranRich
20 January 2012 at 3:24 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
From the comments on the poll at CranstonOnline.com:
This is a quote on Jessica Ahlquist’s twitter page – this seems to be full of hate … it is strange the police refuse to investigate this:
“Pep rally has everything I love. Ass-kissing Mayor Fung, crappy administration, obnoxious classmates, and bad music.
9 Nov”
Full of hate? Investigate this? What is wrong with people who think “ass-kissing… crappy… obnoxious… bad music” is grounds for police investigation, and is just as hateful as threats of rape, torture, and death?
Some people need a good slap in the face to give them some perspective.
Ichthyic
20 January 2012 at 3:32 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
The comment section is overloaded with some guy repeating ad infinito the old trope Hitler = atheist.
lemee guess:
the posters name is Chris Young?
yeah, that guy is the resident nutter; evidently he’s run for mayor there several times, and been laughed at every time.
he’s like their village idiot.
I’d suggest filtering out ALL of his screeds and then look at what’s left.
Ichthyic
20 January 2012 at 3:34 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
again, I’ve seen that one before. It’s Chris Young.
you can safely ignore it as not representative of anything but Chris’s insanity.
there are plenty of bigots in RI, but you really need to filter CY’s comments out before you’ll get any sense of whether they are posting or not.
Moggie
20 January 2012 at 3:55 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Oh, this Chris Young?
I wonder whether you can get an inflatable Virgin Mary?
hockeybob
20 January 2012 at 4:34 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Chris Young = wannabe Glenn Moon, perhaps?
(For those who don’t know – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsKRccvcrK4 )
sqlrob
20 January 2012 at 4:35 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Probably. I’m wondering if a particular site has one. Don’t remember the exact name and I’m not about to Google it at work, but let’s just say they’ve got religious paraphernalia that will make you go “Oh, god”
rorschach
20 January 2012 at 5:13 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
What the ?
eoraptor013
20 January 2012 at 5:25 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I haven’t noticed anyone comment on the irony of all this taking place in Rhode Island. Has the place changed that much in the 30 years, or so, since last I was there?
a3kr0n
20 January 2012 at 5:33 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Wearing red is suicidal? I don’t know why that is, but I checked, and I’m glad I chose Gray with black text. This will be so cool!
Ichthyic
20 January 2012 at 5:34 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Has the place changed that much in the 30 years, or so, since last I was there?
unlikely.
what is more likely is that there is increasing pressure on the religious privilege that was already there, even when you were there.
Did you quiz the locals on their understanding of the constitution when you were there?
Did you threaten to remove religious icons from public venues?
you can’t see how the ants will react until you poke their anthill with a stick.
Ichthyic
20 January 2012 at 5:37 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Wearing red is suicidal?
OH YES.
Ichthyic
20 January 2012 at 5:46 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
which reminds me…
Does anyone recall that Mad Magazine spoof they did on red shirts by rewriting the song “age of aquarius” to be about redshirts, with the chorus being about “expendable”?
I recall hearing it a lot many years back, but can’t find it now.
Part-Time Insomniac, Zombie Porcupine Nox Arcana Fan
20 January 2012 at 5:48 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Hmm, do I want a blue short sleeve, a gray long sleeve, or a black hoodie? All three? Decisions, decisions….*evil cackle*
Jafafa Hots
20 January 2012 at 5:50 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Oh yes, there are hoodies!
Caine, Fleur du Mal
20 January 2012 at 6:15 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I went with the extra dangerous long-sleeved red tee, I can handle it.
Ichthyic
20 January 2012 at 6:19 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
ah, finally, found it!
From Mad Magazine: Star Trek, the Musical, 1976, I give you Kirk singing: “The Crew is Dispensable” (to the tune of “The Age of Aquarius”)…
As your ship… goes through the gal-ax-y
To distant worlds… way past Mars–
Make sure… that your ad-ven-tures
Do… not… kill… off… your… stars!
Chorus:
And you can do it with
A crew that’s dispensable-
A crew that’s dispensable-
Dis-pens-i-ble!
Dis-pens-i-ble!
Minor actors that you bring on
Perish when they meet a Klingon!
One-time players not seen later
Vanish in a planet’s crater!
Those of us who try to aid them
Fail because the script has made them
Dis-pens-i-ble!
Dis-pens-i-ble!
Cyranothe2nd
20 January 2012 at 6:41 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
There’s something wrong with the website. I can change the color/font color, but not the size….
Anyone else having this problem.
Cyranothe2nd
20 January 2012 at 6:42 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Nevermind. I’m stupid. XD
chrisv
20 January 2012 at 7:26 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
There are a whole lot of good people in Rhode Island. Jessica, you are NOT alone. I also will wear this shirt to the Rally with pride. BTW, have you noticed that Catholic communities, be they nations, states, towns, villages, are incredibly narrow and cruel?
Benjamin "Just Another Morsel of Awesome" Geiger
21 January 2012 at 12:32 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
But do they have oh-hell-no-X shirts?
Hekuni Cat
21 January 2012 at 1:26 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I went with the red t-shirt. I like a little danger.
brazenlucidity
21 January 2012 at 10:06 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Switched my order. Got a hoodie too. WTH?
eoraptor013
21 January 2012 at 1:34 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@35 Icthyic
To be fair, I was in the immediate area of Roger Williams U. The folks I hung around with had some sense of history and pride about what RI represented — at least as far as the American mythology went.