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Jan 20 2012

Self-identify!

Now you can be stylish and support the Jessica Ahlquist scholarship fund at the same time! $10 of the $15 price tag on these shirts go straight to the fund, so it’s an awesomely good deal.

Bonus! Order it in L or XL and win your very own free ironic smirk!

48 comments

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  1. 1
    otrame

    They got any XXL?

  2. 2
    Glen Davidson

    On the plus side, one good stomp in the right place (finding it’s the problem), and Rhode Island will be finished.

    Glen Davidson

  3. 3
    megs226

    I’ll buy it, wear it to Reason Rally, and represent us sane Rhode Islanders.

    @2 Glen – huh?

  4. 4
    Jasper of Maine

    I’m not suicidal enough to wear a red shirt.

  5. 5
    Konradius

    Presumably we do not want to finish Rhode Island just yet. After all, I think Jessica still lives there…
    Here’s a shout out for all sane Rhode Islanders. You have to listen closely, it’s coming all the way from the Netherlands :D

  6. 6
    tubi

    Sizes go up to 4XL and there are multiple colors, including Hot Pink and Highlighter Yellow.

  7. 7
    Anthony K

    I’m not suicidal enough to wear a red shirt.

    Fine. You stay here and order girdles, while I head over that ridge to take some rea—aaaaaaiiigh!

  8. 8
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    Order it in L or XL and win your very own free ironic smirk!

    Then I could raise an eyebrown around my vintage glass frames and from under my wool cap while sipping on a PBR in my Stylie Members Only jacket.

  9. 9
    hyoid

    Got a red one on the way. It’s XL ’cause I’ve got big ideas.

  10. 10
    René

    The font should have been Jessica.

  11. 11
    Heliantus

    Related topic: another poll to go click on, on the Cranston Herald. Again, should the school make appeal? 79% yes now.

    http://cranstononline.com/

    The comment section is overloaded with some guy repeating ad infinito the old trope Hitler = atheist.
    Now I need a brain scrub.

  12. 12
    Randomfactor

    I voted “no” but almost wish the fun could go on. We could get Jessica A. a full-ride scholarship out of this circus.

  13. 13
    hipopotamo

    Uh, do you want me to wear a Red Shirt ???
    Well, let me see if that Hortha is friendly…

  14. 14
    littlejohn

    I wear an XXL-Tall, which would be extremely ironic. Alas, I doubt it’s available in that size. I figured my screen name was ironic enough.

  15. 15
    autumn

    Done. A small price to pay to encourage a young hero.

  16. 16
    Mare Lacrimarum

    Ordered. Black hoodie with Green lettering. Also requested they put “It wasn’t Satan, it was me. Quit giving him credit. – Jessica Ahlquist” on the back.

  17. 17
    anuran

    As soon as I get paid…

  18. 18
    trewquiop

    Done and done. I can’t wait to explain what it means…

  19. 19
    staceyrodriguez

    Got a hoodie for myself and a tee for the Hubs :) Glad to help this amazing young lady!

  20. 20
    onefuriousllama

    Don’t mind if I do!

  21. 21
    'Tis Himself

    Order it in L or XL and win your very own free ironic smirk!

    So that’s what I should call my pot belly.

  22. 22
    firefly

    Awesome idea. I’m in! But yes, perhaps not in red though, out of self-preservation.

  23. 23
    TV200

    Just out of curiosity, I searched the expression “Evil Little Thing”, just to see what happened if somebody saw the shirt, got curious, didn’t ask, but looked it up. Almost the entire first page is along the lines of “Rhode Island lawmaker calls 16 year old an “evil little thing””. I like it.

  24. 24
    Deanna Joy Lyons - Mentioner of Patriarchy

    Bought one each in long sleeve for me and my favorite first husband. We chose red shirt with black lettering because those were our wedding colors. Too bad there’s no chrome to represent the stripper pole….

  25. 25
    Grumps

    And of course the awesome Digital Cuttlefish has a rhyme:

    Once upon a time, there was
    An evil little thing,
    Who faced the slings and arrows that
    She knew her acts would bring.
    The folks in her community
    Are treating her like dirt—
    You want to stand with Jessica?
    It’s time to buy a shirt.

    http://freethoughtblogs.com/cuttlefish/2012/01/20/evil-little-thing/

  26. 26
    TerranRich, Yet Another Atheist

    From the comments on the poll at CranstonOnline.com:

    This is a quote on Jessica Ahlquist’s twitter page – this seems to be full of hate … it is strange the police refuse to investigate this:

    “Pep rally has everything I love. Ass-kissing Mayor Fung, crappy administration, obnoxious classmates, and bad music.

    9 Nov”

    Full of hate? Investigate this? What is wrong with people who think “ass-kissing… crappy… obnoxious… bad music” is grounds for police investigation, and is just as hateful as threats of rape, torture, and death?

    Some people need a good slap in the face to give them some perspective.

  27. 27
    Ichthyic

    The comment section is overloaded with some guy repeating ad infinito the old trope Hitler = atheist.

    lemee guess:

    the posters name is Chris Young?

    yeah, that guy is the resident nutter; evidently he’s run for mayor there several times, and been laughed at every time.

    he’s like their village idiot.

    I’d suggest filtering out ALL of his screeds and then look at what’s left.

  28. 28
    Ichthyic

    This is a quote on Jessica Ahlquist’s twitter page – this seems to be full of hate … it is strange the police refuse to investigate this:

    “Pep rally has everything I love. Ass-kissing Mayor Fung, crappy administration, obnoxious classmates, and bad music.

    again, I’ve seen that one before. It’s Chris Young.

    you can safely ignore it as not representative of anything but Chris’s insanity.

    there are plenty of bigots in RI, but you really need to filter CY’s comments out before you’ll get any sense of whether they are posting or not.

  29. 29
    Moggie

    Oh, this Chris Young?

    After the student comments, the floor was opened to those who wished to speak on agenda items. It was at this point that Chris Young, who once ran for mayor of Providence, and was forced to leave a mayoral debate because he would not let go of a large statue of the Virgin Mary, decided to approach the podium.

    I wonder whether you can get an inflatable Virgin Mary?

  30. 30
    hockeybob

    Chris Young = wannabe Glenn Moon, perhaps?

    (For those who don’t know – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsKRccvcrK4 )

  31. 31
    sqlrob

    I wonder whether you can get an inflatable Virgin Mary?

    Probably. I’m wondering if a particular site has one. Don’t remember the exact name and I’m not about to Google it at work, but let’s just say they’ve got religious paraphernalia that will make you go “Oh, god”

  32. 32
    rorschach

    and was forced to leave a mayoral debate because he would not let go of a large statue of the Virgin Mary

    What the ?

  33. 33
    eoraptor013

    I haven’t noticed anyone comment on the irony of all this taking place in Rhode Island. Has the place changed that much in the 30 years, or so, since last I was there?

  34. 34
    a3kr0n

    Wearing red is suicidal? I don’t know why that is, but I checked, and I’m glad I chose Gray with black text. This will be so cool!

  35. 35
    Ichthyic

    Has the place changed that much in the 30 years, or so, since last I was there?

    unlikely.

    what is more likely is that there is increasing pressure on the religious privilege that was already there, even when you were there.

    Did you quiz the locals on their understanding of the constitution when you were there?

    Did you threaten to remove religious icons from public venues?

    you can’t see how the ants will react until you poke their anthill with a stick.

  36. 36
    Ichthyic

    Wearing red is suicidal?

    OH YES.

  37. 37
    Ichthyic

    which reminds me…

    Does anyone recall that Mad Magazine spoof they did on red shirts by rewriting the song “age of aquarius” to be about redshirts, with the chorus being about “expendable”?

    I recall hearing it a lot many years back, but can’t find it now.

  38. 38
    Part-Time Insomniac

    Hmm, do I want a blue short sleeve, a gray long sleeve, or a black hoodie? All three? Decisions, decisions….*evil cackle*

  39. 39
    Jafafa Hots

    Oh yes, there are hoodies!

  40. 40
    Inaji

    I went with the extra dangerous long-sleeved red tee, I can handle it.

  41. 41
    Ichthyic

    ah, finally, found it!

    From Mad Magazine: Star Trek, the Musical, 1976, I give you Kirk singing: “The Crew is Dispensable” (to the tune of “The Age of Aquarius”)…

    As your ship… goes through the gal-ax-y
    To distant worlds… way past Mars–
    Make sure… that your ad-ven-tures
    Do… not… kill… off… your… stars!

    Chorus:

    And you can do it with
    A crew that’s dispensable-
    A crew that’s dispensable-
    Dis-pens-i-ble!
    Dis-pens-i-ble!

    Minor actors that you bring on
    Perish when they meet a Klingon!
    One-time players not seen later
    Vanish in a planet’s crater!

    Those of us who try to aid them
    Fail because the script has made them

    Dis-pens-i-ble!
    Dis-pens-i-ble!

  42. 42
    Cyranothe2nd, there's no such thing as a moderate ally

    There’s something wrong with the website. I can change the color/font color, but not the size….

    Anyone else having this problem.

  43. 43
    Cyranothe2nd, there's no such thing as a moderate ally

    Nevermind. I’m stupid. XD

  44. 44
    chrisv

    There are a whole lot of good people in Rhode Island. Jessica, you are NOT alone. I also will wear this shirt to the Rally with pride. BTW, have you noticed that Catholic communities, be they nations, states, towns, villages, are incredibly narrow and cruel?

  45. 45
    Benjamin "Derp" Geiger

    But do they have oh-hell-no-X shirts?

  46. 46
    Hekuni Cat, MQG

    I went with the red t-shirt. I like a little danger.

  47. 47
    brazenlucidity

    Switched my order. Got a hoodie too. WTH?

  48. 48
    eoraptor013

    @35 Icthyic

    To be fair, I was in the immediate area of Roger Williams U. The folks I hung around with had some sense of history and pride about what RI represented — at least as far as the American mythology went.

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